Phillip Morris Introduces Marlboro Marijuana Cigarettes

marijuana-cigarettes

Phillip Morris, the world’s biggest cigarette producer, announced today that they will join the marijuana legalization bandwagon and start producing marijuana cigarettes. Marketed under the brand “Marlboro M”, the cigarettes will be made available for sale through marijuana-licensed outlets in the state of Colorado, and the state of Washington when it becomes commercially legal there later this year.

Serafin Norcik, Phillip Morris’ Sr. Vice President for Marketing said in an interview that the company has been high on the idea of marketing cannabis, and has been monitoring the market for some time. It was only when the recent legalization initiatives — winning in Colorado and Washington — that they finally made the decision to take a leap of faith.

Norcik added that they have begun contacting former drug lords in Mexico and Paraguay, currently the largest marijuana-producing countries in the world, for the possibility of setting up a distribution ring across the North and South American continents, to streamline the supply lines.

Since only tobacco products are currently banned in advertisements and promotions in the United States, Phillip Morris also has set aside a huge $15 billion advertising budget just to promote the new “Marlboro M” and are now negotiating with major networks and publishers, to start marketing the product to consumers in the beginning of 2015.

Norcik also revealed that a big initial push is planned around January next year, and have acquired most of the ad airtime for Superbowl XLIX. However, since marijuana will be legal only in Colorado and Washington during the 2015 Superbowl, all the ads will be blacked out in all other States and will only show a static “M” logo with smoke blowing in the background, for the duration of the ad.

Phillip Morris shares hit an all-time high on the marijuana news and shot up to $420.00 from $83.03 just a few hours after the announcement went public.



  • twintuitive

    I wonder how many chemicals they’ll pump it with. :/

    • Aaron Clarke

      …You know this is satire, right?

      • sindee

        hope so

        • Aaron Clarke

          No hope about it. Read the bottom of the webpage. Or the tags at the bottom of the article.

          • Robert Michael Watson

            i know dude i tripped almost called my broker…damn fake news

      • twintuitive

        oh. i do now! :) just glanced at it, lol. Thanks. i fear it won’t be long before marijuana becomes as factory-produced and chemical-laden as our tobacco, food, and hygiene products (unfortunate for those who don’t pay attention.)

        • hugepenis

          honestly, since buying marijuana is illegal it’s probably pumped with all sorts of chemicals since nothing regulates it. It’s scary that the legalization of marijuana would likely only publicize the chemicals that are put in it and would at least make it susceptible for regulation.

          • Guest

            You don’t smoke much, do you?

          • Heidi Joy Hameed

            As much as I can and still remain functional which is easy with me as I’m a workaholic lol

          • true iowan

            Your not too familiar with marijuana production & distribution are you?

          • Brave New World

            You guys must never have worked in a grow. If you get spider mites in your grow, you will have weed that’s sprayed with lots of nasty chemicals. And spider mites are quite common. So yes, if you’ve smoked a lot, you’ve definitely smoked weed laced with bad chemicals. This is not something growers do for fun, but out of necessity.

          • Heidi Joy Hameed

            That’s why you grow your own- that way you know exactly what’s in it.

          • silversteen

            99% people growing their own know nothing about chemistry….. So it doesnt mean they grow it knowing whats in it… 9/11 was conducted by CIA and you brainwashed ignorants ignoring tons of proofs and experts who can show you so… But you will still blame some bunch of arabs knowing nothing about it.. ha he hi..

          • http://www.hijoyhameed.webs.com Heidi Joy Hameed

            True enough, not particularly a brainwashed ignorant but many are :-)

          • silversteen

            99% people growing their own know nothing about chemistry….. So it doesnt mean they grow it knowing whats in it… 9/11 was conducted by CIA and you brainwashed ignorants ignoring tons of proofs and experts who can show you so… But you will still blame some bunch of arabs knowing nothing about it.. ha he hi.. big insurance fraud and a reason to invade country with oil..

          • Kristof

            Monsanto weed?

          • missIT

            you know nothing! do research before your open that ignorant hole in your face! alot of people like to grow organically and the chems that are pumped in it are the same as whats pumped into your fruits and veggies you eat everyday! take a class get a license do something other then spread incorrect information for the world to see…

          • Tank

            Are you okay? Can I get you something?

          • Rodney Lawler

            Why would the growers add expensive additives added to it raising the cost of growing.Some of the high end weed does but most of it is nutrients approved by the FDA used in the growing of food stuffs.Very rarely some growers use chemicals to change the taste but it is uncommon as most smokers don’t care what it taste like.

          • http://sitting-online.com/ Richard ‘Zagdul’ Magnano

            Actually, getting it is ridiculously easy and easily grown on your own. Meaning, the stuff you can get illegally is on many occasions ‘cleaner’ than that you would from someone who’s mass producing it commercially.

        • http://www.radiantinteractive.com/ Isaac Shapira

          Don’t forget. Fresh picked organic food is made of chemicals.

          • Erik Morris

            umm no organic food is chemical free thats why its organic…

          • http://www.radiantinteractive.com/ Isaac Shapira

            Organic food is made entirely of chemicals, because all physical objects are made entirely of chemicals.

          • Danny Duffy

            May be confusing chemicals with elements.

          • http://www.radiantinteractive.com/ Isaac Shapira

            All elements are chemicals. You apparently don’t know how to google. This is why the period table of elements is a part of the field of chemistry.

          • Tom Denyft

            what do plants eat ??? lol

          • Marcus2012

            Minerals, water, and carbon…

          • Marcus2012

            Everything is a chemical you idiot, for example what makes oranges taste the way they do? Citric Acid, which is a chemical.

          • Blow whistlerer

            HaHaHaHa!!

        • YFNTM

          there is no chemicals added to cigarettes. the chemicals are a bi-product of burning tobacco. not like you’re going to believe me anyways. but everyone who thinks they add deathly chemicals (as if the gov would allow that) is wrong. once again. when you BURN tobacco, there is a chemical reaction that creates nicotine and the others you are warned about. SAME goes for burning marijuana, which is why it has similar effects on the body when inhaling smoke. the weed cigarettes will be just fine.

          • bob

            sorry rick bob … you’re wrong … at least partially … they’re are chemicals made through smoking but the natural taste is disliked by many so they add OTHER chemicals to alter the flavor … which is why all smokes don’t taste the same … each brand has there own brand of death added. (i know some brands just sell natural tobacco .)

          • YFNTM

            Ummm, I’m not overly sure which replies were directed directly towards my comment or not. Anyhow, I have worked for a big tobacco company for about 4 years now, and you can look up on Health Canada and even on many packs of cigarettes (what i forgot to specify) is that the chemicals
            that are hazardous and cause cancers and death are not in the tobacco or added. A chemical reaction occurs when you burn tobacco and the SMOKE is what actually contains the chemicals. As for brands and flavours, that comes down to the different strands of tobacco much like the different strands of marijuana which provide various flavours. And yes I have smoked and am off and on, I enjoy it as much many other vices in this world. As for aspertame.. I would argue that the governments in NA have a weak regulatory system and ignore the concept of pre-caution, and i believe it is an ingredient? many things in this world will kill you. annnnd to clarify I’m not trying to say smoking won’t kill you and that cigarettes aren’t bad. I’m only clarifying that there are no deadly additives in tobacco; it is found in the smoke. the smoke is what kills
            you. Don’t believe everything you hear. Tobacco also brings in much for the economy.

          • Robert Michael Watson

            I would be really interested to know if the current financial benefit will be worth the cost in the end when the world’s smokers are slowly but surely dealing with all the medical problems and death.

          • Blow whistlerer

            HaHaHaHaHaHa, tobacco factory.. you’re stoned :)
            chemicals in ciggarette is bad. Government is not here to protect you, but control you. HaHaHa, health Canada :D funnyguy

          • Kristof

            There are 599 chemical additives for tobacco approved by the US government – what are you talking about? Have you ever smoked tobacco from a tobacco farm before it’s been processed, perfumed, etc etc? It tastes different!

          • Rodney Lawler

            It also burns different and I am 95% sure nicotine is not a natural by product of tobacco.

          • Andrew Laurenzi

            nicotine is a natural byproduct its the plants natural defense…much like THC in weed and opium in the poppy plant…its meant to stop animals from eating it

          • Marcus2012

            Nicotine is inherent in the tobacco plant are you kidding me?

          • http://usbinaryoptionsinfo.com John Manderson

            Then I’ve got some mixed news for you, sir.

            It would appear that you are “only” 95% idiot. But hey, you can take at least some consolation in the fact that you have that 5% in there somewhere (apparently it usually stays deep in hiding though) that isn’t entirely useless.

            I’m not sure education can fix the problem when it’s this bad, but it might be worth a shot in any case. Who knows though? One day–with enough hard work–you may even be able to get those numbers all the way up to 50/50 or so! That would truly be a significant improvement to be proud of sir.

            However, on the bad news side is that you might just be “uneducable.” Several university studies on the subject suggest that this particular population could account for as much as 75%+ of the total human population. Of course, I’m also abusing the real meaning of “uneducable” by using it in this manner. But heck it is a comment section response or rant, not a thesis defense after all.

            Best of luck to you in all your endeavors, sir!

            Regards,

            J.Money

          • Rodney Lawler

            So what you saw a shot to look superior to some one and were to much of a schmuck to pass it on it?I and bet you got up a lot in school you sir are a POS and an internet troll and are probably just sore your boy friend doesn’t respect you enough to give your half a sissy self a reach around. Oh sorry after looking at your pic I guess I should have went with full on sissy.Oh from Seattle that explains it you sound exactly like their band wagon football fans I would explain football to you but it is a man thing you wouldn’t understand.

          • smiley37

            sounds like you should google the whole nicotine thing. :/

          • Marcus2012

            That’s a long ass post considering you added nothing to the conversation at all, great way to demonstrate your intelligence, by writing a rambling ass insult…

          • http://geterkikzlid.deviantart.com/ Eric

            I’m 95% sure that caffeine isn’t a natural byproduct of tea leaves.

            I’m also 95% sure that sugar isn’t a natural byproduct of sugar canes.

          • Rodney Lawler

            I am also 95% sure you are an asshole who makes himself feel important by correcting people in a snarky manner.

          • SmoothHead Johnny

            Huh?!?

          • Bill

            Nope the government would never allow dangerous chemicals in a product. Then why is Aspartame still in so many food and drink products?

          • Guest

            Ummm, I’m not overly sure which replies were directed directly towards my comment or not. Anyhow, I have worked for a big tobacco company for about 4 years now, and you can look up on Health Canada and even on many packs of cigarettes (what i forgot to specify) is that the chemicals that are hazardous and cause cancers and death are not in the tobacco or added. A chemical reaction occurs when you burn tobacco and the SMOKE is what actually contains the chemicals. As for brands and flavours, that comes down to the different strands of tobacco much like the different strands of marijuana which provide various flavours. And yes I have smoked and am off and on, I enjoy it as much a other vices in this world. As for aspertame.. I would argue that the governments in NA have a weak regulatory system and ignore the concept of pre-caution, and i believe it is an ingredient? many things in this world will kill you. annnnd to clarify I’m not trying to say smoking won’t kill you and that cigarettes aren’t bad. I’m only clarifying that there are no deadly additives in tobacco; it is found in the smoke. the smoke is what kills you.

          • Andy Gonzalez

            “I have worked for a big tobacco company for about 4 years now,”

            Lost all credibility….

          • http://www.radiantinteractive.com/ Isaac Shapira

            You are correct, the process of burning causes chemical reactions that alter the composition of the smoke. However the tobacco smoke has many tobacco specific carcinogens that are simply not present in marijuana smoke. The composition of marijuana and tobacco is significantly different.

          • Andy Gonzalez

            You are misinformed. Read more books.

          • AL Rivera

            DUDE STFU ! YOUR TALKING OUT OF YOU ASS ! LOL. ~ChemicalAmount (per cigarette)Acetaldehyde980 micrograms to 1.37 milligramsAcrylonitrileformerly 1 to 2 milligrams. This product was used as a fumigant in tobacco. Its use has since been discontinued.4-Aminobiphenyl0.2 to 23 nanogramso-Anisidine hydrochlorideunknownArsenicunknownBenzene5.9 to 75 microgramsBeryllium0.5 nanograms1,3-Butadiene152 to 400 microgramsCadmium1.7 micrograms1,1-DimethylhydrazineunknownEthylene oxideunknownFormaldehydeunknownFuranunknownHeterocyclic aminesunknownHydrazine32 microgramsIsoprene3.1 milligramsLeadunknown2-Naphthylamine1.5 to 35 nanogramsNitromethaneunknownN-Nitrosodi-n-butylamine3 nanogramsN-Nitrosodiethanolamine24 to 36 nanogramsN-Nitrosodiethylamineup to 8.3 nanogramsN-Nitrosodimethylamine5.7 to 43 nanogramsN-Nitrosodi-n-propylamine1 nanogram4-(N-Nitrosomethylamino)-1-(3-pyridyl)-1-butanoneup to 4.2 microgramsN-Nitrosonornicotine14 microgramsN-NitrosopiperidineunknownN-Nitrosopyrrolidine113 nanogramsN-Nitrososarcosine22 to 460 nanogramsPolonium-210variable, depending on soil and fertilizer used to grow tobacco[2]Polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons28 to 100 milligramso-Toluidine32 nanogramsVinyl chloride5.6 to 27 nanograms

          • YFNTM

            everything you just listed is created when the tobacco burns. I am not an idiot. Was only providing sincere information from personal experience and knowledge of the industry, those who choose to ignore or doubt my “credibility” I really couldn’t care less. This debate is much like a religious one, i could speak to you till I’m blue in the face about how there is no god (or in this case ‘additives that will kill you’) but, like the religious folk will choose to ignore any logical reason.

            Peace. Thank you for smoking ;)

          • Joey Styles

            What a fu cking idiot

          • charles

            Just one quick comment, if tobacco burning is what produces nicotine how do i get nicotine from dipping?

          • Yolanda Bertaud

            What a moron! Even idiot box TV indicates deadly chemicals in cigarettes! Get your head out of your ass!

          • Guest

            chemical reaction.. that’s it! im tired of my mom always yelling at me about the chemicals i get from cigar.. tsk

        • Alejandro

          Just Grow your own plants. its part of being a pot head

      • Amanda David

        I didn’t know either, I’m only familiar with the Onion. But I was gonna say WTF, because in Colorado, you can only have a gram on you at any time. I was gonna say they are gonna be some tiny ass cigarettes lol

      • Raymond Soto

        Yeah, that stock price spike was pretty suspicious.

      • Victoria Gutshall

        It is satire, but not too far off the mark, actually. I grew up in Richmond, Va., where most of the tobacco companies are located. Back in the late 60′s and early 70′s, when we were all so sure that it would be legalized, people who worked for Phillip Morris told us that the company was gearing up for production if it became legal. Supposedly they had packs and papers printed, waiting to be filled…

      • helioblak

        has to be, thank you

      • Colin Bondi

        its satire, for the moment anyway

    • Jake

      © Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only.

    • Pedro Flores Orozco

      This is the cheapest, stupidest joke i’ve ever read from April Fool’s day posted by ignorant people who apparently are not able to check their bloody sources, and for the sake of a god damned Bloody joke, couldn’t they be smarter than that ????

      • Guest

        I could sorta halfway follow your logic for a minute, like you can mostly tell what a one year old is trying to say even tho the message is largely unintelligible and ignorant, until the mtv rating part, when my brain finally said “fuck it, deciphering this is too damn hard.”

        • Pedro Flores Orozco

          forgive my bad english, not only am i mexican, and english is not my language, but i never had enough money or influence to be able to travel for more than 10 days, and my family wasn’t connected to English speaking people, so i had to learn it all here in my own country, and the President of Mexico can’t even pronounce infrastructure correctly or even speak english, any way i’m alot better at speaking than writing.

          • Yatgirl Teh Bucket

            you tell ‘em, Pedro!

          • Guest

            I do believe Pedro is using humor more successfully than the rest of us. Particularly me, with my complete mis-read of his first post.

        • ARKAS

          He is stoned!!!

      • joel

        Fuck Paul walker and your argument, Pedro. Lighten up dude

      • Luke Mackey

        You are doing pretty damn good if you are teaching yourself english mate. I didnt follow much of what you said but props for giving it your best!

        • Guest

          I do believe Senor Pedro may be funnier than the lot of us and I misjudged the first comment he made. I tip my hat to you, sir.

          • Pedro Flores Orozco

            this must be fake, the mexico’s president was never criticized by Americans for not knowing how to pronounce INFRASTRUCTURE (the word) when he was talking to them the only ones that complained were always mexican, and you dare to respond to me in that manner ???, i have never been criticized by americans or british people, because they understand the circumstances, people in third world countries are abusive, ignorant and total jerks, when they know they are better at something ( i mean i wouldn’t fucking need to speak fucking english to be president like pena nieto )

      • Dumi09

        Look people all Pedro is saying is that satire killed Paul walker and Vin diesel could be next. Lets be sensitive to the power of back luck when it comes to comedy….Pedro Flores Orozco i salute you brother people shouldn’t joke like that, its dangerous….ROFLMFAO!!!!!!

        • Casey Haberberger

          Dum09 I though the illuminati killed Paul Walker, along with every other celebrity that has died EVER? LMFAO

      • Blow whistlerer

        checking sources for a joke? you are mentally unstable.

      • silversteen

        Paul walker was blown by cia…

    • whatsyouragenda?

      we all wonder that,

    • HappyLittleBoozer

      You do realise that literally everything in existence is chemicals, right?

  • lol

    Except that’s wrong, because interstate commerce laws make it impossible to make money off weed in multiple states. It’s considered interstate trafficking.

    • Kitty S.

      Not if it is sold in the same state it’s grown in.

      • lol

        The money can’t cross state lines. It doesn’t matter if they grow and sell it instate, Phillip Morris isn’t based in either of those states, so the money technically crosses state lines.

        • Aaron Clarke

          You’re all ridiculous. This is satire news..

  • Chris Losey

    ~Norcik added that they have begun contacting former drug lords in Mexico and Paraguay, currently the largest marijuana-producing countries in the world, for the possibility of setting up a distribution ring across the North and South American continents, to streamline the supply lines.~

    I thought half the point of legalizing it was to keep money out of the black market… Way to go and fuck that up, Big Tobacco…

    • jimbo_slice1

      You’re an idiot

  • Adam West

    …..this is a satire, people. Calm down.

  • amir

    ummm. their share price did not go up to $900 rofl. terrible reporting. It hasn’t even gone above $90/share in the past month. They’re in the low $80′s range and have been.

    • Benedict

      …it’s a satirical article… 1. Abril Uno = April One = April Fools, 2. Look at the bottom of the site and read 3, Look at the tag of the articles “Fake News”.. lol. None of it is supposed to be true!

  • nothappening

    HAH! whether or not it happens, i’ll stay local thanks.

  • Guest

    Ummmm: Stock proces as of close today 1/23/2014..At least the story got something close…

    Philip Morris International (NYSE: PM)
    83.54 -0.65 -0.77%

  • smarty pants

    this will be close to true soon, I’m pretty sure PM has underground marijuana factories waiting for this day…

  • Benedict

    “Phillip Morris shares ***hit an all-time high*** on the marijuana news” lol, that was funny…

  • Deb Emry

    Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication.

  • Sondra Rene Eisenman

    funny…LOL for all you idiots that think that the ‘legal” marijuana comes from “drug cartels …LOL in your face. you need to research the regulation first. the states are really strict on who grows and who sells.

    • Aaron Clarke

      This is a satire news story. It’s not real. Read the tags. Read the bottom of the webpage.

      • Woodcider

        Read? Oh now you’re just asking too much.

      • Sondra Rene Eisenman

        I got that. I just thought it was funny about the “cartels” part. I know for a fact that legitimate dispensaries tend their own plants or have a state approved grower.. It is well regulated in Colorado and Washington.. you can’t just decide to grow pot in enormous amounts and sell it in a store front.. there is a lot of paperwork and fees involved in the process. it is not “shipped in from south America cartels” not everyone gets the satire and would take that seriously. I probably should have said like that. that was not a good way to post my point. sorry

    • Varg vikernes

      Derp

    • Dan G

      lol read small print on bottom…

    • Collin Nonapplicable

      Wake up. You only know what they tell you, and what they tell you is mostly bullshit.

  • beverly

    awesome

  • Faktz Musicgroup

    this is a good idea…..wonder how much a pack will cost

  • SheRahMoor

    YESSSSSS!!! AToo bad its fake! :/

  • Jdammann

    I need no stinking filters!

  • smarty pants

    can’t believe all you stoners think this is real LMAO

  • Andy Warstar

    I like the part where they said they were contacting former drug lords. That’s hilarious! But probably closer to the truth than most realize.

  • sindee

    que asqueroso@@

  • Jake

    © Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only.

  • http://www.lawstarz.com/ mike ahuja

    and let the races begin!!!

  • Chris Meyerson

    WOW people were taking this seriously …LOL really come on folks read its satire

  • Michael Dowling

    McDonalds announces it would start selling Big M marijuana cookies called The Big Munchie.

    • Milla

      Or the Mcmunchie lol

      • Rick-o

        That would be included in the “Happy” Meal?

    • Angela Ivey

      Don’t forget the all to famous “quarter” lbs-er

  • imapayne

    the first sign was there was a filter on the joint

  • http://emanoncreations.com/ Pam Breeze

    I am sure it will come in time. ;/

  • Michael Mitchell

    This may be satire but I used to work for PM about 12 years ago and one of our guys blocked any e-mail that had the word cannabis in it. When I got in that morning I got a call asking me if we were blocking e-mail containing the term cannabis. I went and checked and saw someone put that keyword in. I was told to remove it immediately. Not sure what business justification e-mail would have for the term I did what I was told. My manager later told us that PM has a cannabis division and felt it was going to become legalized and PM wanted to be a distributor when it happened. For the last 12 years PM denied having a cannabis division yet I was the guy who had to remove it to allow e-mails in and out of the network with it knowing full well they were interested in becoming a distributor. So there is a hint of truth in this. BTW PM owns about half the products in your kitchen cabinets and was actually a very good place to work they treated us well.

    • Shadow

      I used to dream about buying packs of cannabis out of Cigarette machines when I was younger. Hopefully someday that will be true. It sure wouldn’t surprise me a hundred years from now!!!!!

  • brent

    Well your stock info is wrong

  • Darnel Cooper

    LOL

  • Stephanie Culp

    This is fuck-ing-awe-some.

  • Mikeandbarbara Fleitz

    Smart move!

  • Virgina Burley

    This might be satire, but it’s not far from the truth. I worked for big tobacco, and all the major players have “theoretical” advertising campaigns developed and backed with market research. They’re ready to launch once they feel the conditions are right.

  • klsy88

    how much per pack?

  • Charlie Hopkins

    Marlborough has actually had the name “Marleys” trademarked for a long time for this very purpose.

    • Larry Harrell

      ‘marlboro’

  • r regan

    I actually think this is an important issue. Weed needs to stay
    relatively worker owned and local oriented as long as possible. It’ll
    be the first billion dollar industry to ever just pop into existence
    over a few years and It could make a huge difference in the politics of
    economy and the economy of politics. bla bla bla rabble rabble… funny
    stuff, though I’m surprised they didn’t go with BUDweiser.

  • batmanroxus

    It has been reported that Georgia grows the best pot in the world;)

    • Donte’ Bailey

      Indweed!!

    • Mark

      Probably you’ve never been to Holland

      • Silvestre

        Probably you’ve never been to Spain.
        Many of the best Holland hemp is coming from here.

        But now a days people think that as more chemical it have as better it is. And chemicals will never be better than natural plants. If u dont think so, check what modern medicine is doing to us, and what ancestral plantas can do for us.

      • batmanroxus

        I sad “GROWS” not has:) You can’t grow pot in Holland:) Grow pot where you grow tobacco.

  • Jaquelee

    I, J.N.S. deem you all to be too retarded for help.

  • Thomas Lavoie

    LOL: “Phillip Morris shares hit an all-time high on the marijuana news and
    shot up to $998.00 from $83.03 just a few hours after the announcement
    went public.”

  • ho sai guy

    if you read the fine print at the bottom of this page. the very bottom, it’s fake.

  • Datrebor

    You know this was one of the reasons prop 19 didn’t pass in CA some actually thought it was true.

  • the mozeman

    I thought PM stood for Paul Maul cigarettes.

  • Old Dude

    Reminds me of Parklane that was brought from ‘Nam late 60′s & early 70′s

  • ColoradoKUSH

    BULLSHIT!

  • Peg

    Author’s name is listed as Akoy Ciraulo which is Filipino for “I’m Crazy”

  • http://www.howtopromoteconcerts.com/ Concert Promotions

    Damn I called this in 01′

  • ricky dean

    i felt that marijuana actually helped clear my mind when i smoked and still i miss it and for sure i would rather smoke mary jane than a cigarette any day i feel marijuana should be legalized because it would help us out so much with all of the problems including money i dont think marijuana is a bad thing because it helped me feel special i really think that it is not peoples faults they get locked up for such a harmless crime but instead wanna blame it on the smoke itself haha anyway i love this article when i felt smoking was the best weekend thing for me it turned into an everyday thing i dont think a single person is dumb for smoking it i feel its helped people a lot and truly feel you can come up with so many ideas as of when your sober you felt like thinking bout something is to much and when you lit it up it relaxed and freed your mind like it did mine marijauna is not harmful i believe if people have to judge it why not smoke it first haha

  • Yun C Han

    oh the classical satirical ironical hodgepodge of goodness n humor

  • deezy

    It’s not though. Many tobacco companies have bought land overseas in preparation to grow for their Mary Jane cigs. This was done years ago, they’re just waiting now.

    • Collin Nonapplicable

      I’ve heard before many years ago that they already produced them in other countries, I cannot verify the truth of those claims. I heard they were manufactured under the name Marlboro Golds, which are now what they call the old Marlboro lights.

  • Jerry Jackson

    Calm down guys. Calm down. This is tooooootally fake.

  • Michael Varian Daly

    The satire that proceeds the reality…

  • Collin Nonapplicable

    Fake maybe, but a test to see how the public would react? probably.
    Also… this is exactly what all marijuana consumers want: a product
    that is produced by the same people that knowingly gave 60% of the world cancer.
    (sarcasm intended)

  • Jules Landau

    I bet these are about as strong as the spliffs made by a donkey in a sleeping bag, and that’s not a metaphor

  • Jerry Arnwine

    if the product is coming from Mexico or Paraguay, no telling what chemicals like paraquat, will be spraying on the crops, I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole!

  • missmasturah

    READ, PEOPLE. Tags: fake news, fictional news, satire, spoof. So on, and so forth.

  • White True Patriot

    All dope addicts must be rounded up, lined up against walls and machine gunned. Kill them all!

    • Bicky

      wow…you are hardcore bro! what do YOU smoke?

      • Justin Hephner

        he is a kkk nazi, he smokes meth of course

    • fuk this guy

      faggot

    • Graham Davies

      All RACIST, kkk, red-necks must be rounded up, lined up against walls and machine gunned. Kill them all! Maybe you should have a puff and chill the fuck out. Just shows how much inbreeding affects your grey matter.

      • i hate fuck niggaz

        Indeed sir… i approve this message

    • Waheed

      The cradle of human kind is found in Africa (fact, go google it). That means that every single human (red, white, blue or purple) shares a common ancestor that was black. So, genetically, you are related to every other race! Feels great doesn’t it?

      • White True Patriot

        Fuck you and your tail nigger.

    • blondey

      wow u really are a “patriot” arent u luv….. u should be shot.. now fuck off and die!!!!!

    • Janet Sexton Walth

      You and Nancy Grace need to meet up so you can be stupid together!!!! Geesh!!!

    • i hate fuck niggaz

      So you think your better cause im a stoner, and you like watching little girls take baths??

    • Silvestre

      Are this ur ideas? Or maybe u heard it some where? If u just wanna get acepted, use love. Is better than hate ;)

  • Guest

    This could be true. I mean, it can’t have tobacco in it, since tobacco ad’s are banned. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be allowed. However, since it’s ran by what is orignaly a

  • Lindsey Nicole Smith

    This may b fake but this is the world we live in just a country gambleing on this like they do with our lives to make more money i dont care eaither way but hay

  • Vassilis N. Perantzakis

    Will they add cancer in it too?

  • Matthew Swetnam

    Question is how much are these going g to be a pack or hell even for a carton

  • kall

    70′s welcome back, i am waiting from long time

  • Rae-Milli Shaff

    Are they going to put the same chemicals in the M cigarettes as normal cigarettes?

    • Jessica Phillips

      exactly my point.

  • eric melcalf

    By best friend tired the pot now hes a gay!!!!!! This is the end if you fear the lord repent

    • Melanie M. Suchy

      HAHAHA good lord obviously put no brains in your head

    • Zeid Khan

      The fact that you raped your best friend while he was high off weed, doesn’t make him gay because he got high… it just means you’re gay and took advantage of him. This is what happens when you have priests as your role-models.

      • Omar Shariff

        What happens when your role model is an Immam? grooming little girls for the harem?

    • Enherre

      I am truly sorry for your lots.

    • Volkan Tuncay

      How stupid this is . Your mate was already gay pot doesnt make you gay but xtc can…

      • Sarah Jane Hall

        Um I’m thinking it was meant as a joke

    • Sarah Jane Hall

      lol

    • i hate fuck niggaz

      Lol tell your friend too

    • Lynnz

      OMG !!! You are a flipping nut case if you believe pot makes you gay and the fact you think the lord had anything to do with it makes you a blooming idiot.

    • Joe

      I know wat u mean… my brother did 2 marijuanas once and blew my highschools football team.

  • Morgan Wright

    I didn’t know this was a joke until I saw the stock went from 83 a share to 998. Now I know it’s a joke.

  • clemdane

    There are actual rumors that Phillip Morris has been buying up marijuana-growing land in California in case pot is legalized. This satire may someday become reality.

    • michael

      more truths are said in jest……………..

  • Sarah Jane Hall

    HA ha they don’t need to “Promote it” dude just make it so

  • Janet Sexton Walth

    This story is so ignorant it hurts!!! I was quit interested until I got to the part where it told about Phillip Morris being in contact with former drug lords for a possible distribution ring….OMG!!! I live in the state of Washington and FYI…..we became “state” legal on Jan. 1st but the rules are as such, you can be a grower, processor, or retailer. You can be a grower and/or a processor but neither can be a retailer and any retail product has to be ONLY bought/sold in the state of WA. So……if Phillip Morris wants a piece of the WA market then they will have to set up shop in WA, buy WA cannabis to create their product, and have a WA cannabis retail store in order to sell their product……and at this time, all limited retail licenses have been issued. I’m a grower, I know the rules and this story sticks as bad as Mexican cannabis!!!!!

    • Glandous

      Are you stupid. Read the tags.

      • Janet Sexton Walth

        NO….I’m NOT stupid!! Read the frickin comments on this page. People actually believe the crap they’re fed. You tend to defend what you’re passionate about.

        • Deanna Marie

          It’s a fake article…

          • Nico

            LOL. The look on this dude’s face when he realises the article’s fake would be priceless…

        • Pedro Flores Orozco

          and there are people who actually believe that i’m going to believe this things, just because i share other incredible things that are true, they have absolutely no criteria, they are misinformed. this article is obviously fake, the name of the news paper is unnecessary, you don’t need them to tell you it’s april’s fool’s day to know it’s fake, and is not even funny, it’s just a silly dumb prank, to see if someone is stupid enough to believe it, it’s insulting !

      • Pedro Flores Orozco

        it’s like fake news, marijuana, fake, fake, morris philip, joke, fake.
        how about don’t even write the article, is not even funny, i don’t see anyone laughing !

    • Lynnz

      The ad is FAKE… a JOKE ….Pulling your leg…… Get real.

      • Pedro Flores Orozco

        exactly !

      • http://www.facebook.com/russnelson Russ Nelson

        How do you know? It’s quite possible that this site, in making up what they only *thought* was a fake story, hit upon the truth.

    • duke

      true
      hahahaha

  • mohammed ahmed

    مفيش سجاير فودو طويب …

  • Gail Cunningham

    Marlboro and Vicount were the worst smokes out, strong. So if they do get made Im not buying them .

    • Lynnz

      The ad is FAKE !!!

  • Dan the Man

    Snopes says you are full of shit.

    • Mychyl

      Correction, Snopes says this is satire.

      And guess what? The very NAME of the page does, too! Same with the disclaimer at the very bottom of this page!

    • http://abriluno.com Akoy Ciraulo

      Thank you.

  • Jessica Phillips

    Philip Morris AKA Marlboro is well known for being such a honest and selling quality cig., which is totally bull shit. If that cant keep a cig company healthy and free of other toxic chemicals, now they are trying to make marijuana smokes. I do not smoke pot but do smoke regular cig.and i think Marlboros idea especially how they are viewed for their company is so astonishing, mind boggling and has no baring to sell anything besides poison to their customers.

    • Lynnz

      The ad is fake !!!

  • Al

    It’s tagged ‘fake news’ and ‘satire’…. How can anyone in the previous comments take this article seriously?

    • Youssef Mohsen

      these retards are the future man, it started out as not reading the license agreement and just accepting, now they dont even bother reading anything except the text related to the appealing image

  • squall_loire

    The amount of people in these comments that can’t recognise satire even when it’s clearly marked as such is depressing.

    That said, should this ever actually come about it would be the worst thing to happen to cannabis smokers in a long time. Tailor-made cigarettes, or “straights”, are loaded with chemical by-products either as a way to keep the cigarette burning longer, or sometimes just as a convenient method of disposal.

    • http://www.facebook.com/russnelson Russ Nelson

      Don’t be ridiculous. You can use a rolling machine to make your own straights. The geometry is not determinative of the contents. If there’s a manufacturer who adulterates their products, you shouldn’t buy them. Even in spliff form.

      • squall_loire

        When I referred to straights I was specifically referring to those sold in packets in stores, which I thought was made clear by the term tailor-made.

        Using a rolling machine is of course fine, but you won’t be using the same tobacco and your rolling papers won’t contain the same toxic slow-burn chemicals.

        Apologies for any confusion.

  • dtbklyn

    I’m now at the point I’m “unfriendling” folks from my FB page who are clueless to satire. :-(. I can accept anything other than stupid.

    • http://www.facebook.com/russnelson Russ Nelson

      ITYM ignorant. Stupid can’t be fixed; ignorant can, but if it won’t, then, yes, throw them under the bus and don’t look back.

  • Kristina English

    Read the fine print at the bottom of the page, fools…
    © Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only.

    • Wife Pleaser 2000

      Welcome my friends to the newest generation: Generation Gullible. This generation consists of those from birth to death, lack ability to research topics, can’t think for themselves, that life is all about them, post self portraits every few minutes,believe Obamacare will save America, and that there is a new Ghost Gun that can shoot 30 magazine clip bullets per half second.

      • XoI Zydrate IoX

        “30 magazine clip bullets per half second”? Seriously? It’s funny that you make a statement full of so many mistakes immediately after talking about how we’re in “Generation Gullible”. Well my friend, it’s also called Generation Stupidity, and you’re wallowing in it.

        • werweis

          @XOL Your answer to Wife Pleaser just showed me how really screwed up you are when reading our comments. Please read them again, all the “stupid and gullible generation “should read twice or three times. Hopefully it wiil sink in.

    • http://www.facebook.com/russnelson Russ Nelson

      Haha, that’s all part of the joke. You see, they mix in real news from time to time, just to keep you off-guard. This one is real … it’s just been published too soon.

  • matt

    Dude I can’t wait to smoke the shit outta this shit yo. Mr. White would be proud.

  • freethinker666

    Truth is stranger than fiction.

  • grace vickers

    We can definitely grow it in the USA no forgein bud Marlboro!

  • Roberto Massimo Autorino

    NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY IN THE ITALIAN DO NOT WANT TO LEGALIZE MARIJUANA,THERE ARE MUCH MORE INTEREST TO TOP OF WHAT WE CAN IMAGINE!

  • Marcela

    The satire is that the article implies that North and South America are different continents.the one who wrote this must go to school again or stop consuming canabis cause its not helping you clearing your mind!

    • Jamestown Central

      Ummm… Marcela… go back to school.

      • Marcela

        Ok, in my country we learn the 5 model continents, there are another models that might be used in other countries. The most accepted model is the 5 model continents. You can find 6 or seven continents models. I don’t need to go to school, just needed to know which model is the preson writing using and wrote my comment based on my Country’s model. So, ok, In writer’s defense, using the 6 model or 7 model continent he might be correct since thats what he learned.

        • Rob Bird

          Let me guess, Marcela. Are you from Argentina? When I lived there, people would always insist that the Americas were all one continent, and that Argentina also “owns” part of Antarctica. I’m not making fun of you, it’s just funny that every government/society has certain interesting things they believe and teach! :)

          • Marcela

            No, I’m not from Argentina, I’m from México, I think that it is a matter of what we are taught. I understand you are not making fun of me. As I said, there are different models, I guess that they are based on each goverment interests as you said, the fact is that the writer wrote based on what he learned and fully understand it yet, the 5 model is more accepted world wide. And we could go on . and on.. =)

          • jakedizzle

            In the United States, we learn that there are seven continents. North America (which includes central america) and South America, Europe, Asia, Antartica, Africa, Australia…

      • Eddy Larios Jr.

        Marcela is right, there is one continent: America…. USA= United States of America, one country, USA+Canada+Mexico= North America, the north part of the American continent, Central america is from Guatemala to Panama, and South America from Colombia to Chile-Argentina, all together= America

        • Dejan Vlastelica

          Europe, Asia, Africa, Oceania, South America, North America and Antartica. There you go

          • Eddy Larios Jr.

            You missed Central America, we still exist

          • squall_loire

            You still exist, but are not a separate continent by geological standards, because they are defined by physical continental plates rather than the imaginary borders between countries.

          • Jay V Of Considerable Influenc

            Holy fuck, Eddy. You are one dumb Central American.

          • Eddy Larios Jr.

            Holy fuck Jay V! Proud Central American, i invite you to come and enjoy the kindness of our people, the beauty of our nature, the delicious meals, spending half of the money you could spend anywere else, and if you don’t speak spanish don’t worry, we are prepared to service anyone speaking the needed language. Come and become as dumb as you want, you’ll enjoy it!

          • Jay V Of Considerable Influenc

            I quite enjoy Central America, have visited every country there besides Nicaragua. I have nothing against Central America, I only have something against your hilarious (and factually incorrect) assertion that North America and South America are not separate continents.

          • Eddy Larios Jr.

            Actually, i was saying that because that’s what i’ve learned at school, i made a little investigation and i discovered that there are many theories on continent names, the Americas separated is what they teach mostly in the USA, so we are talking different points of view of the same matter, both right. I’m glad that you already came here, i’m from Honduras, i hope you can come soon again.

        • plato

          By that logic Europe and Asia are also one continent. Euarasia baby, aint nobody fuckin’ wid us.

        • http://www.facebook.com/russnelson Russ Nelson

          Still, since the USA is sometimes abbreviated to “America”, it’s less ambiguous if you call the two continents “The Americas”.

          • Eddy Larios Jr.

            There are no 2 continents….. Or you can say (using your logic) the Canada contionent, and the Mexico continent

          • freedy

            To stretch that logic further, since the Suez Canal is man-made and not a natural feature, Africa, Asia & Europe are all one continent. That reduces the 7 continents to just 4.

  • Androphoner

    “Norcik added that they have begun contacting former drug lords in Mexico and Paraguay”…. I think this is a Fake…. it is not serious…

    • Wit

      Look at the name of this blog – Abril Uno – “April 1″ or “April Fools Day” as its known here in the West. That tells you all you need to know.

  • Daniel

    although in agreement noway should we b using Mexico and any other outside country to supply our needs..we grow our own..lets keep this revenue in the states people..we need..our economy needs this why just give it away?

    • http://www.facebook.com/russnelson Russ Nelson

      Actually, we’re all better off if everybody does what they’re best at, regardless of national borders, and trades, regardless of national borders. Economics 101. Ricardo’s law of comparative advantage.

  • Tim Gomez

    phoney ad i almost was convinced untill i read the part on them contacting former drug lords and superbowl ads nice try though.

    • Ezekiel_Blackson

      a

      • aida

        he’s taking for granted that you speak spanish.

    • Brad

      The name of the web site didn’t give it away? lol

  • Amy Shanahan

    Phillip Morris is incredibly smart if this is for real. Once weed is legalized there is going to be a huge business boom. Way to get there first! :)

    • Brad

      Read the the tag lines. Not to mention the website is called “Abril Uno”

    • doug

      it’s satire.!!!!!

  • Pappa Joe

    They will start adding chemicals n shit to it and fuck it up!

  • Carl Hungus Jr.

    tools look like THEY put a fliter on them , NOBODY wants that

    • http://www.facebook.com/russnelson Russ Nelson

      It’s not a filter. It’s a little water cooler. Think of it as a bong in stick form.

  • Wife Pleaser 2000

    If you can’t tell this is fake then you probably shouldn’t be smoking dope.

  • doug

    c’mon people this is satire

  • Adam Scheringer

    They would never get the weed from drug Lords but would grow it themselves. That was the main clue that this article is fake.

    • Rhonda Minadeo

      but not in the tags? :)

      • squall_loire

        The tags are at the bottom, if it took you that long then you’re missing something =P

  • Jon

    998 dollars in stock price? Fix that shit.

  • Gypsy3142

    They should have put that the shares shot up to $420!

  • Guest

    All you “smarty two shoes” missed the BIGGEST clue that this article was fake: Phillip Morris does not make one single, red cent in the USA!!!! In the US the brand “Marlboro” is controlled by Altria Group. Phillip Morris owns the rights to Marlboro in every other country but USA

    • Eric Johnston

      You had to think that hard to realize that the article was a fake?…lol It should’ve been obvious way before you got that far! Maybe you shouldn’t be criticizing others’ intelligence! :)

    • Steve Goldschmidt

      Actually I figured it out because it says “Fictional, Fake, Satire, Spoof” all over the page. Didn’t need to search for any other “clues”

  • Mary

    What about selling it in other states that it is legal..like Michigan!!!! bring it!!

  • werweis

    P.S. The same people that get all exited here, are the ones who had parents that said the moonlanding was fake.

  • Santos

    Philip Morris , we the people salute you :))

  • Chiritza Adrian

    philip morris if you do this………you are the best in the world

  • Bella Caswick Parris

    It’s getting where we just about need this in order to deal with the government we have today!

  • hogtap

    lol, did anyone read the tags? “fake news,spoof,fictional news”. lol

  • http://chrisabraham.com/ chrisabraham

    Should have written “The stock shot up to $420/share upon the announcement.”

  • Yvan Iban

    Good job! To still have more people addicted to nicotine

  • minnix2

    I don’t know which is funnier, the people that believe this shit is real or the people that are trying to sound smart but still insist on arguing with the believers!!

  • scottsgirl

    If only it was true

  • Brooke

    If only it were true! But hey! – If it became legal nationwide one day – It wouldn’t be a bad idea for the good ole’ cigarette company to do this!

  • PeterLustig

    Yeah just ordered my first Marlboro Marijuana Megabox! Delivery estimated on April 20th or April 1st !! ;-) I’m so HAPPY!!! :-D

  • unbelievable

    cool put poison in the weed now.

    • Wayne Force

      Just like their tobacco!

  • Sandi Nugent

    Even though this article is Fake… I bet they just gave Phillip Morris a Hell of an Idea….LOL but Truthfully,I know they have already had thoughts about this a long time ago.They know,once Legalization happens worldwide,their little nest egg of a business is DOOMED!They don’t want that,so tell me….Do you really think they don’t already have a back up plan in Motion?Don’t underestimate the Power of Businessmen ,and certainly don’t think something like this Isn’t going to happen..Tobacco will become Illegal and Marijuana will become Legal…Watch what I say!

    • Steve Goldschmidt

      Im not sure everyone on here has figured out its fake Sandi! And Im with you. Ive heard rumors for decades that some big players already have product lines and advertising campaigns developed. But I don’t think pot and tobacco will directly compete. In my experience, people use one or the other or both. Its not like people who smoke cigs will stop even if they can now smoke a blunt

      • Nicky Chulo

        It’s only a matter of time before commercial weed comes to fruition!

  • Christopher Cahill

    Washington has their Kool-Aid. Let the People have their POT. Like FDR said once Every Family will have a pot in their home !

  • Kitty

    I totally disagree, because the tobacco industry, cigarettes currently some nasty tubes filled with additives such as TAR, which makes the smoke is something really toxic and murderer, sheet plant snuff does not kill, but today this totally demonized because of the tobacco companies. What will you who believe marijuana? will use the worst quality of marijuana filled additives that kill cancer people to be demonized later this plant again.TOBACCO INDUSTRY TO DEATH! SMOKE SNUFF, LEARN TO ROLL!

  • nessafly

    I wouldn’t want to buy my pot from Marlboro. I could only imagine what shit they would put in it. I love having fresh buds, and I like to roll or pack it myself. I have not had the opportunity to try anything but flowers ( concentrates or edibles) but if I do it would never be from a cigarette manufacturer. I was a smoker and Marlboro was my brand, but I don’t trust them with my bud!!!

  • bloodsweatandtears

    If you believe this, you must be high. Lay off the dope, man.

  • coreymillia

    Yeah it may be a joke, but you let norml lobby this is what you will get. Overgrow the government!

  • Guest

    Not sure what part of “Tges” Fake News” people are struggling with here! Wishful thinking and the day will come, but not today. Sorry heads!

  • Steve Goldschmidt

    Not sure what part of “Tag: Fake News, Fictional News” people are struggling with here! Wishful thinking and the day will come, but just not today. Sorry heads!

  • Gary More

    shop grade shit won’t be any good, just like they fuck everything else up.

  • inukoarashi

    Marlboro spliffies? Wow.

  • Louis

    Yeah um their stock didn’t hit $998 EVER

  • Maximus Max

    Hilarious! I love it!

  • gene456

    LOL! I LOVE this!

    The tobacco companies are beating the LIEberals at their own game! Obviously, “Woodstock Nation” wants pot legalized. But they don’t want the conservative-based tobacco companies, whom they have been fighting against for years now, to make any money on it. The problem for the liberals is that the tobacco companies have been mass-producing, distributing, and selling cigarette products for years, and are far better placed to cash-in on the legalized pot trade than are the small head-shops run by tie-dyed shirt-wearing overage hippies. Now the liberals won’t know WHAT to do! ROTFLMAO!!!!

    I’ll bet 10 to 1 now you’re going to see a whole bunch of articles come out claiming pot causes lung cancer. Just watch.

    • Tbunker

      This is fake dumbass.

      • gene456

        Thanks for the tip, And fcuk you.

        • Nicky Chulo

          He’s right, you know. You do look like a tremendous blowhard dumbass right now. Just let that sink in.

          • gene456

            Take a look at my revision, and cry your fcuking eyes out, lifelong loser. Don’t be surprised if my prediction comes true.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            They need to hurry up and get gene on the weed before he strokes out. On second thought, just let nature run it’s course.

          • gene456

            LOL!!!! Have fun with the gateway drug that causes cancer, Steve. The more you have, the better. I could not care less what happens to you.

            And my prediction is that the large tobacco companies WILL start doing things like this, and make as much money as possible off you life-long losers. How fitting!

          • Nicky Chulo

            You mean like alcohol companies are making billions off of drunk rejects like you?

            *See what I did there, dumbass? You can’t assume someone’s lifestyle because of a position they took reading an article without looking like a moron.

          • Chris

            WOW, aren’t you just a ray of f*cking sunshine…….

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            You don’t care what happens to me gene? That is devastating news. All this time I thought you had my back. Damn. So let me ask you why you slam these liberals for their alleged dope smoking to the point of wishing them dead but apparently support wealthy (and likely conservative) folks producing it, promoting it, and profiting from it. Im really struggling to grasp your thinking here. You are angry at the left obviously, don’t smoke weed although you desperately need it, and basically are leaking intellectual diarrhea all over yourself. Buck up man,

          • gene456

            “So let me ask you why you slam these liberals for their alleged dope smoking to the point of wishing them dead but apparently support wealthy (and likely conservative) folks producing it, promoting it, and profiting from it.”
            - You just told me they are NOT profiting from it! You told me this article is fake! Now you’re saying it’s true?

            “You are angry at the left obviously”
            - The left has caused most of the problems in this country, especially today. If we were to eliminate the lefties and their policies in this country, I’d say 75% of our problems would disappear.

            “[You] don’t smoke weed although you desperately need it”
            - Wow! THERE’S a new one! I NEED it? How many doctors ever tell their patients things like THAT?
            Nope, sorry. I don’t “need” cancer or a gateway to harder drugs. But please – feel free to pursue such things yourself.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            If you need me to say whether the article is true or not you are more lost than previously thought. My point is that you keep blathering on about how big industry will monopolize the business model if it is totally legalized. You seem pretty excited about that. Then you go off and say how only liberals get high (totally wrong by the way) and you hope they all smoke up and die. So at the same time you seem to be celebrating big companies getting into the game while you make the argument about deadbeats, losers, and gateway drugs. You are incoherent, inconsistent, and no one understands what exactly your point is. You are barking up every tree and everything you say is conditioned on assumptions you are making that just aren’t right.

          • gene456

            I’m obviously not in favor of marijuana legalization. But if it has to be legalized, then yes, I would very much want to see big tobacco (e.g., Phillip Morris) get into it. As I mentioned before, such companies are well-placed to quickly dominate the business and put all the “Woodstock Nation” liberal-led head shop owners on the unemployment line. Smart hard-working conservative corporations – even the tobacco companies – are much more able to capitalize on the industry. I would never trust loser pot heads to run ANYTHING right.

            And when that happens, it will put the Lefties in a huge quandary, because while they love their grass, they hate the tobacco companies – which they see as the so-called “establishment” – and they will never want to support them. If you think I’m wrong, just look at all the amusing comments on this board!

            That’s why for years we’ve been hearing about all the ill effects of cigar and cigarette smoking (which, of course, is quite true), but very little about the ill effects of pot smoking, even though one joint equals about 3 cigarettes in terms of carcinogens. We even get absurd claims saying pot actually “cures” cancer!

            But just watch. That all will change once big tobacco gets into the legal pot trade. And if there is enough money in it, they WILL, for that’s capitalism, m’boy! Once big tobacco gets into the legal marijuana industry, liberals will be screaming to the high heavens that pot, like tobacco, is carcinogenic too, as well as a gateway to other drugs. And they will soon wind up fighting against their own beloved weed that they fought so hard for all these years.

            You see, its not so much marijuana that you people love. Rather, it’s the fact that you are doing something against the so-called establishment that makes it appealing to you. You get all satisfaction that an unruly teenager gets when he defies Mommy and Daddy. That’s because the liberal mind (at any age) is stuck in an adolescent mode. And that’s why you people who never grew up fight so hard for things like this which are actually bad for you.

            As they say: What goes around, comes around. Trust me, you’ll see what I mean.

          • Nicky Chulo

            Let the “gene pool” naturally thin itself out. *RIMSHOT*

          • gene456

            I agree 100%. Druggies like you have abbreviated lives, as they well should.

          • Nicky Chulo

            Druggies like me? How do you know I do drugs? You’re the one too stupid to read the tags at the bottom of the article. LOL

          • Brad Fulton

            Do you right-wingers have a special surgical procedure to have your humor removed? A “Laughectomy”???

          • Nicky Chulo

            Nope, you still look like a fantastic idiot. A for effort, though!

          • gene456

            And I’ll bet YOU look real COOL, dragging on that weed, eh? Enjoy, lifelong burnout!

          • James Goodall

            Doesn’t take much to make an political argument huh?

            *fuck not fcuk. idiot

          • gene456

            Are you KIDDING me? You people are the experts at making everything political.
            I use the fcuk term, imbecile, to avoid the built in-censor programs. I wonder if you could figure that one out?

          • James Goodall

            What do you mean by “you people”? I am a random internet user, you know nothing about me yet your assuming that i’m liberal for some reason…..

            This “fcuk term” is something you just made up. it’s a typo and now your trying to make it seem as if you did it on purpose. You continually make an ass out of yourself and everyone who comments on this article is letting you know.

          • gene456

            You stupid shit!!!! You’re obviously smoking too much weed, because you can’t even comprehend what I’m saying!

            Yes, I used the “fcuk” term on purpose, because many boards will immediately block the word. Sorry if that upsets you, LIBERAL!!

            LOL!

        • Stevie Lee Rothferd

          Yep. Fcuk you.

        • Eilene de Helvette

          Boy you conservatives fall for anything don’t ya! What a maroon believing this story, thanks for the belly laugh.

          • gene456

            Yeah, you guys are so smart, dressing up a lie like it was the truth and playing “gotcha”. I’ll bet you had them rolling on the floor in the 6th grade, huh?

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Don’t be cranky because your reading comprehension wouldn’t get you beyond the 4th grade. Admit you were duped and move on gene

          • randy1215

            Maroon? Isn’t that a cookie?

    • Brad Fulton

      I hear a parrot squawking.

    • Cooper

      Not just liberals want cannabis legal. Libertarians, Anarchists, Socialists, Communists, many centrists, most people with an understanding of the medical effects of cannabis, most people with any economic understanding, most people who support civil liberties. Basically non-conservatives.

      • gene456

        I couldn’t care less if the entire world wants it legal. But your drugged-out mind is definitely exaggerating those numbers. Nevertheless, smoke that cancer-causing gateway drug all you like, pal. I could not give a rat’s ass what you do to yourself.

        • Steve Goldschmidt

          gene = Compassionate Christian Republican? I

          • gene456

            I’ll say a prayer for you if it will make you feel better. How’s that?

        • CrazyPills

          Actually Cooper is correct. The exact number is 58% according to the latest national Gallop poll conducted just a few months ago. And while marijuana does contain some amount of chemicals known to be carcinogens, the research conducted so far has found that there is no link between marijuana and cancer. In fact, they found that paradoxically, in their study, there was a slightly lower occurrence of cancer among pot smokers.

          So there you have it Gene, you are fucking idiot.

  • Mqira

    facke news….stock is 81.75 as of 2:42 EST. This is fake….however, about twenty years ago, I did hear they bought a large amount of land in CA for this purpose….but was gonna call it Marlboro Highs!

    • 29makessense

      I know it is fake but have found myself some very good comedy reading and commenting while smoking some very good BC BUD.

  • mike hunt

    Why so they can add the 210 federally regulated chemicals in the name of “Safety” to kill even more? yes smoking is bad, but to add all the BS is purely ludicrous.

    • Steve Goldschmidt

      You might want to look at all the tags that say “Fake News, Fictional News, Satire, and spoof”. Work on your reading comprehension as much as you worked on that avatar and you might get somewhere

      • gene456

        You might want to grow up a bit and get past a 7th grade sense of humor. Of course, I know that’s a lot to ask of you.

        I can just imagine how much YOU PEOPLE will be crapping in your pants if and when something like this really does happen. THEN what are you going to do? LOL!

        • Steve Goldschmidt

          What are you talking about Gene? What am I personally going to do? I will head down to local store and buy a big blunt, then head to my favorite park and enjoy my new freedoms.

          • gene456

            Good! Smoke away! You think I could give a shit? I could not care less how many of you liberal POS destroy your life with the gateway drug that DOES cause cancer. I really could not. Far out, man.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Right. Because conservatives never smoke weed, or cigarettes, or drink booze. Hell, one of your icons, Mr Limbaugh, was so into his opiates that he was writing fake prescriptions. You are pretty entertaining gene. Only scary thing is that you can vote and breed

          • gene456

            Is he proud of that? Is he still doing so now? Does he advocate drugs? Case closed.
            As I said, smoke that gateway cancer -causing drug all you like. The sooner you expire, the better.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            So it’s OK if you do it but aren’t proud of it? HE smokes cigars as well. Pretty constantly right?. High correlation between cigars and mouth cancer. So why is his vice any different? Because he agrees with your politics? I think those 7th graders you mentioned could debate this better than you can.

          • gene456

            You’re comparing cigars to pot? LOL!!!

            I never said any smoking is good for you. I frankly wish Rush would not smoke at all, but a cigar – as dangerous as it is – is like a glass of fine wine, or so they say. It is not a “drug”. If anything, it is associated with success.

            Pot is a drug for losers, and a gateway to harder things. You want to lie to yourself and tell yourself it isn’t, be my guest. As I said, I could not give a shit WHAT you do to yourself.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            drug
            noun: drug; plural noun: drugs
            1.
            a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.

            Nicotine is both a relaxant and a stimulant. That means it has a physiological affect when introduced to the body. Therefore nicotine is a drug and cigars contain nicotine. It is also highly addictive and has a host of detrimental health affects. Wine contains alcohol. Another drug. Just because you see having a stogy and a glass of pinot as some kind of expression of success while smoking a joint makes one an eternal loser, doesn’t make it so. It only means you are myopic and totally unable to think your way out of Rush’s sphincter. Next?

          • gene456

            I see. So what’s the fine for driving while under the influence of nicotine?

            What a fcuking IMBECILE.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Gateway drugs. Cancer. Fines. You cant even keep tabs of your own rambling incoherent rants. I think we all get it by now. You are not a supporter of legalized weed and think the sky will fall. It’s OK gene. But remember, the majority of high tech gadgets you use to post your rants on were conceptualized, developed and built primarily by self proclaimed dopers and liberal hippies. If you want to walk the walk, I hope you don’t use any Apple, Microsoft, Oracle, products. The internet itself. They were all started by evil lazy dopers who even dropped some acid a few times and still managed to be creative productive individuals.

          • 29makessense

            I don’t think she could find her way to a voting station. But then again, she could probably get her drunk brother that she is married to to drive her.

          • 29makessense

            You won’t have to worry about gene in the park because she has never been outside her own back yard. “Enjoy your blunt”

    • Malik Nicely

      I’m with you on that. The government’s evil deed to corrupt a seed so pure further taking away the innocence of this plant.

  • JUDE WILSON

    ITS ABOUT FUCKIN TIME THAT THIA EPIC MOVEMENT HAS TAKEN ITS TOLL,I HAVE BEEN WAITING 49YRS 4 THIS !!!! THE GOV’T DID NOT KNOW HOW 2 TAX THE SHIT AND THEY KNOW THEY WERE LOSING MONIES EVERY DAY,NOW ALL WE CAN DO IS GET A SLIP FROM YR DR AND THERE U GO,FUCK THE TAXES AND FUCK THE GOV’T 4 HARD ONS ALL THESE YRS.ROCK & ROLL HAS AN ALL NEW MEANING MY FRIENDS,PRTY HEARTY TIL THE SUN GOES DOWN & BACK 4THE DAWN OF AQ NEW NATION,IN WEED WE TRUST ALL OTHERS WHAT CAN I SAY BUT,TRY IT YOU’LL LIKE MAN!!!!!!

    • derpleton

      I really don’t know what you are trying to say here but since you said fuck the government i’m with you.

      • 29makessense

        I am not sure either but
        ‘fuck the government” is good enough for me to get a laugh.

  • Joshua Marlar

    Oh yeah, let’s combine both nicotine and marijuana, great idea. -_-

    • Joshua Marlar

      If it were real, it would be the worst idea anyone had ever came up with.

      • http://www.t-rec.ca T_REC

        most people mix marijuana with part tobacco because it burns better & evenly.

        • Wanda Nobles Colon

          I don’t know anyone that does that. Most of people that smoke pot don’t like cigarettes.

          • http://www.t-rec.ca T_REC

            listen, I’m not going to sit here & debate on the matter with you hippies; if you are a regular smoker & include it in your day to day life, you know what I’m talking about. buying in bigger quantity because it’s more efficient also means that towards the second half of your purchase, things get a little dried up & joints end up becoming a sparking marathon as they extinguish between each toke.

          • Wanda Nobles Colon

            Hippies…lol.. You can’t get cancer from smoking marihuana.Go ahead…enjoy your tobacco.

        • 29makessense

          Not if it is cured properly.

      • Nicky Chulo

        The (fictional) article doesn’t say it’s pot mixed with tobacco, you just assumed that. You oughtta try it though, it’s a fantastic mixture in a water pipe. 1 part tobacco, 5 parts whacky tobaccy.

        • 29makessense

          Go ahead, each to their own but I have never done that. I have some friends that do but that is their choice and I will smoke my own pure thank you.

      • derpleton

        You do understand that people do this already? Guess not…

        Are you one of those “Drugs are bad Mmmmkay” types?

      • Cooper

        That’s how you tend to smoke marijuana, with tobacco so it burns. It’s brilliant when people bash things they blatantly know nothing about.

        • 29makessense

          I have been smoking marijuana for over 50 years and have never put anything else in it. Perhaps you need to take some lessons from Canadians on how to cure your weed.

      • 29makessense

        I agree.

    • 29makessense

      It is the only way to be addictive.

  • gene456

    Yes, this is fake (typical 7th grade liberal humor).

    But I would not be surprised if something like this happens. The tobacco companies can beat the LIEberals at their own game. Obviously, “Woodstock Nation” wants pot legalized. But they don’t want the conservative-based tobacco companies, whom they have been fighting against for years now, to make any money on it. The problem for the liberals is that the tobacco companies have been mass-producing, distributing, and selling cigarette products for years, and are far better placed to cash-in on the legalized pot trade than are the small head-shops run by tie-dyed shirt-wearing overage hippies. If that happens, the liberals won’t know WHAT to do! ROTFLMAO!!!!

    • Steve Goldschmidt

      But a 7th grade sense of humor is much more desirable than a 7th grade intellect. Wake us up when you are done swallowing Glen Beck’s man goo

      • gene456

        And I take it that you think your intellect is beyond Grade 7? Who’s been telling you THAT BS?

        • Steve Goldschmidt

          My degrees and my ability to think clearly without a mouthful of GOP goo dripping down my face. Are you like a Pavlovian dog of some kind? Ring the bell, say “liberal”, and gene starts frothing at the mouth and speaking in tongues.

      • derpleton

        Anyone who uses stupid terms and phrases like Lieberals, or Rethuglicans for the other side, is obviously not much of a thinker and more of a blind follower.

        • Unicorns and Rainbows

          Agreed. I just use the term “libs.”
          Clear, concise, to the point.

    • Wanda Nobles Colon

      Who sad the liberals are going to buy it?

      • gene456

        They’ll have no choice. The tobacco companies will blow them out of the business. They have far more resources and expertise.

        • derpleton

          They have far more resources but dont have the expertise in cultivating a quality batch of herb. Furthermore most people prefer glass to joints or blunts and most smokers who dont use glass enjoy rolling their own. There will obviously be people who buy it for convenience but if you honestly think they are going to overtake the market you are sorely mistaken.

          It’s a completely different culture.

          • gene456

            ROTFLMAO!!! You obviously know NOTHING about business. They will HIRE people (luring them with large salaries that no head shop could ever HOPE to pay) to provide all the things you just listed, plus a lot more. Welcome to the world of competition, pal.

            So, like I said, what are you going to do NOW? LOL!

        • Feli

          O.o being a liberal is a business??

          • gene456

            I’m talking about the head shops, idiot.

          • Feli

            Hmm yes name calling good show it really does express your own intelligence well. :) Also since when did you have to be a liberal to have a head shop? Pretty sure that’s mostly just entrepreneur tatitcs with supply and demand while chasing the almighty dollar. That alone sounds pretty republican to me; in which case they would gladly buy the big tobacco green sticks. Why? More profit of course by mixing it with their already manufactured supply of tobacco they reduce the supply needed of the marijuana. In a since with the same supply of both they make a ton more $$ espically with actual cigarette smoking becoming more of a taboo and if this we’re to magically become a nation wide (or you know if this was not a spoof article) trend the sales would be booming at a much higher price than a standard pack of smokes. Yep so unless these “liberal” head shop owners are giving a good hunk of what does not go to uncle sam to the community/charity I’m pretty sure that would make them more a republican. Might want to brush up a little on your political parties before you go spouting your opinions as facts and doing all that name calling sir because you look like a fool.

          • gene456

            Your comment is so incoherent, so grammatically flawed, and so illogical, it is not worth responding to it. Go back to your joint, head.

          • Feli

            Says the pot to the kettle, head. :p Before you judge my use of grammar and logic maybe you should read your own posts, so far every post I have seen come from you has little to no intelligence let alone proper grammar. Once again you are just making yourself look ignorant with your pathetic trolling comments. Good day.

          • gene456

            Hey, pretty good! You managed to write a complete sentence, and in only 16 hours time! Is that a record for you? Or did the weed wear off? LOL!!!

          • Feli

            No I just don’t waste my time being a troll like you do because unlike you I have a life other than trying to be a keyboard warrior with the IQ of a retarded lab monkey. :)

      • Steve Goldschmidt

        Have fun with this one Wanda. Gene is pretty entertaining.

      • 29makessense

        Sometimes I am a liberal, sometimes a conservative. I do my homework before I vote. I do have a mind of my own.

    • Arlene Brown

      no they will not already talked to them and it is not on the agenda and I am glad cause no matter how you look at while on pot you are not yourself you loose all common sense and you are not you been around too many that have take this crap and I for one dont want it around cause if i am near it with the drugs i have to take it interferes with my meds, I have been to out side concerts and in homes and I can tell when they have or had pot cause I get sick from it and I am allergic to the stuff

      • Ian Culbertson

        I may partake in marijuana but at least I have enough “common sense” to speak English correctly…

        • Steve Goldschmidt

          Ian, give her a break. She “loosed” her mind with all the other meds she admits to taking. Amazing that she made that big of a mess out of a single sentence. Love it when the lithium dopers have issues with weed

        • Unicorns and Rainbows

          Then you may want to show that “common sense” by not putting your name with a post admitting you smoke marijuana on the internet. LOL!

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Why is it a problem admitting it? He might live in a state and/or have the prescription so that he isn’t committing any crime. Save the LOL until you know you have a point. Otherwise you just sound like you took the 2 for 1 lobotomy Groupon deal with Arlene

          • Unicorns and Rainbows

            “He might live in a state and/or have the prescription..”
            Then again, he might not. And I could be anybody.
            It never ceases to amaze me how many people are so willing to post incredibly private, or even possibly criminal, things about themselves for millions of people to see.
            Seems a stupid thing to do.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Just as stupid as you assuming he has any reason to hide his decision or feel he needs to keep it private. It’s his personal decision to disclose his use and without knowing his reasons or circumstances you are just coming off like an arrogant, hypocritical, blow hard. But you have admitted to being conservative, so that is a redundant statement for about 93% of that voting base.

      • 29makessense

        WOW! They never taught me enough English in school because I can not comprehend a word you are saying. You need to start over again in grade one ” LOOK SPOT” ” SEE SPOT RUN”

    • Interrupting ReplyBot 2012.1

      Are you always this idiotic, or just in public?

    • Micki Callison

      Ever seen anyone “on” alcohol or in a nicotine fit? I don’t think keeping people acting “like themselves” is the agenda… Everything is about money… the keeping weed illegal is a huge money making business for the government.

      • Johnny Pennington

        Actually they waste more then they make

    • James Goodall

      did you just repost the exact same thing you did before?

    • CrazyPills

      Lol “The Liberals”, huh? You sound like a fucking idiot, so let see if I can’t pin down your particular psychosis. My guess is that you sleep with a shotgun between you and your fat redneck wife (who is also your cousin) while she clutches a bible. You most likely lost your virginity to a sheep. You’re as well-educated as we’d all assume, meaning you just barely squeaked out of the 3rd grade before Pa put you on the farm to work, and its mostly just milking cows from that point on. I’m 100% certain that you and your entire family are not only obese, but probably diabetic too. I’m also assuming that you wear a red plaid shirt with blue jean overalls every day of your life. Because you are an inbred redneck conservative.

      …So, am I right??

      • Unicorns and Rainbows

        Not for him, but you’ve got my life pegged exactly. The funny thing is I was a lib the entire time growing up until I was about 30, so how did those things end up happening to me?

      • gene456

        Holy SHIT! Such ANGER! Your vicious email sure matches your angry picture. And you’re messing with the gateway drug (and probably others) on top of it? Yikes!

        MY psychosis, eh? If were you, I would forget about legal marijuana and get help ASAP, my friend.

        • CrazyPills

          Lol Oh does one need help when they needlessly attack others and their way of life, unprovoked, for no good reason whatsoever? You’re obviously too stupid to realize the irony of your own statement.

          By the way, the “angry picture” is of a comedian named Nick Offerman. He currently plays a Tea Party Libertarian on tv.

          And don’t you ever call me your friend.

          • gene456

            You are definitely one sick, angry mother fucker, and I’m dead serious. You shouldn’t walk to the nearest psychiatrist’s office. You should RUN.

          • CrazyPills

            I believe motherfucker is one word, Gene.

        • joni

          gateway drug there is no such thing as a gateway drug there is however addictive personalities. i know people that have smoked for years and they never moved on to other drugs is the gateway closed no the only gateway is on fences.

          • gene456

            “there is no such thing as a gateway drug”
            - LOL! That’s it. Keep telling yourself that, sista.

          • 29makessense

            The fact that you ended your comment with sista explains it all.

          • gene456

            And the fact that you focused on that and only that says it all about YOU.

          • joni

            i am not you sista probablly old enough to be you grandmother so get a grip get educated and stop looking like a fool

          • gene456

            Food is a gateway drug, eh? Hmm, well, in the case of pizza, pistachio nuts, and potato chips, I’d say you’ve got a point. But in general? Come ON!

            An addictive personality cannot be helped by addictive substances, and you’re quite naïve if you think there’s no link between pot and these harder, more dangerous substances. I’ve seen SO many people screw their lives up with drugs – most of them starting back from their high school days – and they all began the same way. You’re just kidding yourself that there’s no relation between the two.

            Get educated? I’m probably more educated that you are. As for your age, that has no bearing on anything (BTW, if that’s your picture, I’d say you’re a pretty hot grandmother). I know teenagers today with far more sense than some 60-somethings who are still living in the 1960s, and just never grew up.

        • 29makessense

          No more a gateway drug than beer is to rubbing alcohol. Have you ever wandered out of your back yard?

          • gene456

            List for me all the rubbing alcohol addicts in the world, and I might be convinced you actually have a brain.

      • Jimmo

        That was mean man… But definitely funny :) LOL!

      • 29makessense

        That was so right on that I have to fro the first time in my life end a statement with “ROTFLMAO”

    • 29makessense

      Once more you should try sitting up and stop laughing so much. You may learn something if you look at all sides of conversations.

      • gene456

        I’m going to LEARN something from DRUGGIES? Oh, YES! Please go on, Teacher! I’m all ears!!

        ROTFLMAO!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!

  • StarThrower

    I wonder if Marlboro will add nicotine to them, to make damn sure users become addicted? I hope this industry is better regulated than the tobacco biz is.

    • 29makessense

      That would be what the tobacco companies would do to make sure it is addictive.

    • voiceofreason51

      Yeah, uh, this is a FAKE story…hello McFly?

  • Joe

    Why Mexico? Everyone knows the weed that comes from there is shit.

  • Denver Goddess

    Adding what to make it more addictive than it already is?

    • Johnny Pennington

      Marijuanna isnt addictive you dumb ass

      • Robert Hanks

        Marijuana is only addictive psychologically like TV and intenet not addictive physically like tabaco, alcohol and hard drugs

      • nik

        read…dumb ass

    • RandomTask

      Not addictive… Never has been.

    • 29makessense

      I’ll bet you are more addicted to sugar than I am to marijuana.

    • Feli

      Marijuana is NOT addictive these “withdraws” and such people like to note like “being irritable” are usually the reason for WHY people choose to just it such as anxiety or OCDs the marijuana keeps them calmer as if they were doing a prescribed sedative which you suddenly take them off those and they’ll ‘freak out’ too it has nothing to do with addiction more so their own mental state of mind. Well, and dumb kids and how they can’t “do anything” without being high but that’s a whole different issue and why marijuana should have restrictions such as alcohol. You get the most big dealers off the street when they have no business because people can legally obtain it.

  • Jerry Walker Vaughan

    OH THATS NICE JUST CALL FORMER DRUG LORDS FOR THEIR SUPPLY?!

    • Lisa Walsh

      NAFTA? How is this legal? Boycott.

  • Jerry Walker Vaughan

    THIS IS FAKE!!! CHECK OUT ON SNOPES

    • Tim Cavey

      Um the site is called “April Fools”
      The site says “Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only. ”

      This site is like the onion. Only fools believe it.

      • Jerry Walker Vaughan

        um yeah, like I said fake

        • Tim Cavey

          You said it like it was meant to be real, telling people to check snopes(all in CAPS) when right at the bottom of the page it tells you it’s a joke. It’s okay to not know this was a satirical site. Just don’t try to cover it up.

          Just look at the tags
          “fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire, spoof”

          If some one needs a warning that this isn’t real, then they don’t know how to read. Or they just go wildly posting on articles without having actually read them(cycling back to the not knowing how to read thing.)

          • Jerry Walker Vaughan

            I agree. Sad I have to tell people it is fake. lol

  • Truth_in_Response

    Satire but Hmmm? Not so far out of left field.

  • Kimo

    You had me fooled until the penultimate paragraph.

  • Melissa Whisman

    Pot can actually cure cancer and can help many other diseases has for many people, not to mention that hemp can be turned into textiles fuel bio-fuel, building materials etc. etc. You can also turn pot into oil and consume it you do not have to smoke it. Do you folks understand how many jobs and new businesses this would create or are you too busy spewing out your anger!! Do some more research or better yet eat a brownie or smoke a doobie and settle down children!!!!!

    • Anonymous

      I do understand all the positives of legalizing pot and I’m not really for or against it but pot does not CURE cancer. It alleviates pain and some other symptoms that cancer may cause. TMYK

      • Melissa Whisman

        Yes it does it has already been proved….where do you get your information from? I certainly hope not big pharma !!! They have killed more people with synthetic drugs than any disease it is the #1 cause of death in the United States ….keep doing your homework student !!!

        • Anonymous

          If this has been proved, I am unaware of such research. I’m open to reading into it if you are willing to provide some scholarly articles. Knowledge is power after all.

          • Melissa Whisman

            It most certainly is and I have paid lots of money acquiring my knowledge !!!!Are you too lazy to do your own research!!!!! Go do your own research I am not being paid by you to be your professor ….carry on student!!!!

          • Jesus

            God damn women, calm the fuck down.

          • Melissa Whisman

            I am calm why would you say that? Evidently you have not attended college or you would know what debates are about and what they are for and btw no need to use foul language it makes you look like an idiot !!!!

          • sean chen

            you stupid go fuck yourself

          • Melissa Whisman

            No I am not stupid at all and you seem to be consumed with anger ….maybe you should consider anger management and oh btw I can fuck myself real good..Mmmmmm

          • anonymous

            I’m a marijuana legalization advocate for mostly medical reasons. Marijuana does not cure cancer, it helps to relieve pain and stimulate appetites, as previously stated. There is no cure for cancer, hence the term “remission”. You can be in remission from cancer for 20 years until you die from something completely unrelated. Wherever you got this largely paid knowledge, I’d get a refund. I got mine in a college for nursing. It has not been PROVEN (not proved) to cure cancer.

          • Feli

            Check out the all mighty google then buddy don’t just BELIEVE what is told to you actually research it yourself there are literally hundreds of studies that show beneficial uses for marijuana and the ONLY time you hear about negative issues is when it is laced with something else like how some creations will sprinkle pcp onto the marijuana. Check it out for real you will be in shock and awe at all the things this “drug” helps with without having to load unnecessary amounts of pills into your system which do things like eat holes in your stomach lining and give you kidney failure. Yep I’d be a lil “lazy” over dialysis any day.

        • Anonymous

          Where do you get your information? There is no scientific proof of marijuana curing cancer. It alleviates the symptoms and side effects associated with the disease: nausea, pain, decreased appetite, etc. Just because a study shows ‘promising’ anti tumor effects in rats, doesn’t mean it CURES cancer. In any one of these studies, the author states that more information is needed to support their findings, and will list the conflicting results that show it to stimulate other cancer pathways. If cannabis/marijuana cured cancer, then cancer wouldn’t be one of the leading causes of death worldwide. Maybe read a book on how to interpret scientific data before you ignorantly make claims of their unproven results. !!

          • tyler hopkins

            It’s cause they don’t want you to know that it helps, they hide the information

          • 29makessense

            There is no money in cures but many billions in keeping customers.

          • Feli

            Kinda like how a woman’s OBGYN can loose their practice by telling their gals to eat at least A orange every day to deter from 3 types of cervical cancers and cysts big pharma makes millions off of stupid sheep and is the big reason medical treatments are soooo costly for the US because they pay to put our politicians into office so those same said people turn a blind eye to their system abuse and we continue to pay for it but hey who has time to go check little boxes and make sure we get this ‘cancer’ out of our own system when we are so terribly busy about these marijuana arguments to realize this PLANT is less harmful than boozin it up or even smoke a cigarette.

        • voiceofreason51

          It has been proved that marijuana cures cancer? If that were the case, this would be on the REAL news everyday. Where do you get your news from, High Times magazine? Give me a break. Most people who use marijuana smoke it, and cannabis is LOADED with carcinogens and tar, so if anything, smoking it would only cause cancer. Eating it, on the other hand is different, but there hasn’t been much research on that, as far as I know.

      • 29makessense

        You do need to do more research, Alleviating pain and increasing appetite are just 2 of the wonderful properties of this plant.

    • Cory Godwin

      It dont cure cancer its for people who are sick and don’t have any appetite
      Smarty , I’m 16 and I know that

      • Melissa Whisman

        Cory I am serious do some research young man !!!

      • tyler hopkins

        So when I was in high school and I did a research paper, the hemp oils is what kills the cancer cells, that info was wrong? Oh and by the way I got an A+ on my paper.Go the fuck on somewhere kid,

        • a c

          A paper you wrote in high school… HIGH SCHOOL. ARE YOU KIDDING? GTFO noob.

          • tyler hopkins

            You can suck a donkey dick too, do YOUR fucking research noob, that’s why marijuana is used for glaucoma patients, the hemp oils help with killing cancer cells, marijuana has many uses, I personally just smoke weed for the hell of it, I like being high, and yes, I still have a decent paying job, so fuck all you haters

          • a c

            Did I say anything about “doing research”? Did I in any way make an argument against the virtue of weed? Your attack is misplaced; I am a cannabis advocate and have been a daily user for 5 years. All I’m saying is that you’re using a paper you wrote in HIGH SCHOOL as evidence for phenomena that’s studied at the post-doc level. And you further insult the intelligence of the academic community by implying that the grade you received on your “research paper” somehow validates a complex medical claim.

          • 29makessense

            Yes I smoke almost everyday and employ 36 very well educated and well paid employees. I am the least educated person in the company that I own but I am honoured to have someone to learn from.

        • 29makessense

          I am glad you support this cause but while you were writing your paper you should have been concentrating a little more on the English language. LOL

      • c.a.greene

        actually it can cure cancer. the best weed is grown with radiated plant food, ( all potash is naturally radiated ) the plant ingests the radiation breaking it down into bit size particles more easily ingested by humans. when a stomach/bowel cancer patient such as myself eats this plant we are actually treating/curing our cancer.

        • 29makessense

          Isn’t open minded knowledge a wonderful thing.

        • voiceofreason51

          If marijuana really did cure cancer, it would be a top story of the REAL news on a daily basis. Where do you get your news from, High Times magazine? Give me a break!

          • c.a.greene

            big business pharma has done everything in its power to discredit any studies of natural curative medicines. they spend millions in ‘illegal campaign contributions’ to ensure these studies and the multiple uses of these medicines never come to light. its more than just big pharma. the hemp plant alone could replace cotton, oil, pulp and paper and even gas. those multi-billion dollar companies are not just going to stand aside and watch their profits dwindle to nothing. they have a controlling interest in the news we receive and the governments we elect into office. wake up and smell the weed sister as you are living in the matrix if you believe everything big brother/big pharma and the news tells you. big pharma has not found a single cure for anything since the 70′s as curative medicine is a one time profit, preventive and maintenance medicine is where their profits lay. don’t drink the kool-aid, you already had too much!!

          • voiceofreason51

            First of all, you may achieve better credibility if you used correct punctuation and grammar. Secondly, if you’re referring to Jonestown with the whole “Kool-Aid” comment, it was Flavor-Aid that they were drinking and if you knew anything about the Jonestown massacre, then you’d know that it was more murder than suicide. However, that’s a different issue. I agree with what you’re saying about big business and the benefits of using marijuana as an industrial product. However, like I said, there is absolutely no evidence to support your claim that marijuana cures cancer and that’s not a conspiracy. In fact, since most people smoke it, and since it’s full of carcinogens, then it does nothing more than promote cancer in this case.

          • c.a.greene

            first off let me say i am sorry if my computer skills are not good enough to use correct punctuation as i am just learning to use this contraption and have no idea what all these keys do. secondly i was not speaking of smoked marijuana but ingested. thirdly if you do not know the meaning of ‘don’t drink the cool-aide’ other than jonestown than i am afraid it is already too late for you to be saved.

          • voiceofreason51

            Best of luck learning how to use a computer and with your pot brownies. The CIA put a chip in my brain, so yes, it’s too late!

          • Victoria Gutshall

            Many years ago the DEA asked the Medical College of Virginia to do a research project to prove that marijuana was harmful. The reason you never hear about this study is that the results were suppressed by the government when the study proved, in fact, that marijuana was not only NOT harmful, but had great medicinal value. Yes, marijuana CAN cure many types of cancer, that has been proven in a myriad of studies and more and more proof is coming out every day. These are facts, the newer studies are available for anyone who cares to look them up. Even doctors are jumping on the medicinal marijuana bandwagon because the benefits for so many conditions are becoming so obvious. I live in a Republican state (Wyoming), and even here we have pending legislation for legal medical marijuana, a piece of legislation penned by a REPUBLICAN. The police officers here want it legalized, the doctors want it legalized, even the average citizens are coming to realize it should be legalized!

      • ChamanaOficial

        We do not care about cancer, we just care that it will be legal and I will be smoking all day!!! :D

        • 29makessense

          I care about health and freedom to use a much safer alternative to alcohol for recreation.

      • Jesse Johnson

        Hey buddy, you aren’t helping yourself in any way. Do a little research before talking on a topic ignorantly. Yes it does help with appetite, but the cannabinoids in the THC of the Cannabis plant isolate the mutated cells, and cut off their “life-supply” and kill them off. You can double check that if you’d like.

        • 29makessense

          Thank you for saying what I was trying to say in a much simpler way.

          • Jesse Johnson

            But of course :)

      • 29makessense

        Yes I guess when you turn 16 you have learned just about everything you will ever learn in life. I am 66 and am still learning every day, that is why we do research. A recent study has proven that tumors injected with thc cannabinoids either shrunk or completely wiped them out. Is 16 old enough to know what cannabinoids are? Do some reading or are you so old and informed that you have forgotten how to look at anything objectively. An appetite is one of the benefits that may help with some illness’s.

    • gene456

      “Pot can actually cure cancer ”
      ROTFLMAO!!!!!

      • Tim Cavey

        I like how he says “Do some more research”
        lol at the irony.

      • Melissa Whisman

        Do some more research Gene !!!!!

        • gene456

          SMOKE SOME MORE WEED, MELISSA!!!
          ROTFLMAO!!!

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Are you sure your not high gene. You are LOL, and ROTFLOL, and ROTFLMAO over things that don’t seem very funny or witty. But glad you amuse yourself.

          • Qwaszxcvbnm7

            Aside the fact about pot helping illness
            “gene456″ and “Steve Goldschmidt” are either butt buddys or are the same person… who the fuck uses “ROTFLMAO” anymore … except ppl who THINK its cool ….

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Get a grip joker. Ive been calling out gene’s BS for hours on here and Im calling out his lame use of those acronyms. Grab a J and sign up for some remedial critical thinking courses. Might do you good.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            got some reading comprehension issues there Qwaszxcvbnm7?

          • Aidan

            Ignorance is bliss huh? Jesus, at least acknowledge the fact that you’re wrong.

          • ChamanaOficial

            Someone seems stressed, Pls have a joint.

          • 29makessense

            You should stop lying on the floor and listen to more than one side. Small things amuse small minds.

          • gene456

            Go back to your “High Times” reading.

      • taoisms

        You’re laughing but it is true. Do some research and you and the three idiot likes won’t look stupid.

        • Robert Michael Watson

          I have done the research and it all pretty much follows who is doing it.

          Marijuana…a true cancer cure? Lung Cancer?? Gimme a break. When you set something on fire and breathe in what results, it will never be good for the human body. Coughing is a sure sign that your lungs are kinda pissed even if you are feeling no pain.

          Marijuana…probably more helpful at treating some very serious illnesses than anything made by the U.S. Pharmaceutical Industry? Probably, but good luck getting them to admit that.

          See, what suck about all the things we use to treat illness and disease? What “works” for me may give you an 8 hour erection that you didn’t want and are forced to get medical attention for. I’ll swear by it, and tell everyone i know… but you will be so messed up from the side affects you personally experienced that you won’t even be able to recall if it helped at all for what you took it for in the first place. Hopefully long term data will prove this “treatment” was more beneficial overall for at least the majority of those treated.

          People are different and they don’t all do the same thing or benefit in the same way as one another under the influence of marijuana. Most will probably see an increase in their quality of life and attitude for sure. But it’s still a mind altering drug, it’s widely abused, and those of you who will be real with those facts will understand that not everyone will experience benefits that outweigh the costs of continuous use of a mind altering drug, even a natural one such as marijuana.

      • ChamanaOficial

        It is true, in fact.

      • Jesse Johnson

        F****** do some research instead of talking blindly you close minded a**. I try not to insult people and be considerate and kind when people are misinformed, but right now, I truly believe that you are just trying to be a total D*** because you have nothing better to do with your life besides trying to cause fights on an article.

        • gene456

          Fcuk YOU, Jesse. YOU do some research! YOU list for me all the studies that say pot actually cures cancer. Until then, SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!

      • 29makessense

        and you think cancer is a joke. You had better get up off the floor, stop laughing and do some research beyond what the pharmaceutical companies have been paying the governments to tell you. I feel sorry for closed minded folks like you. I hope you never are forced to make the decision of using medicinal marijuana to cure cancer.

        • gene456

          Yes, that’s what I said – cancer is a joke. ARE YOU ACTUALLY THAT RETARDED?

          Cite for me all the studies that say marijuana – which is SMOKED, and contains NUMEROUS CARCINOGENS, imbecile – actually cures cancer. And list for me all the legitimate doctors who say so.

          What a freaking NUT!

          • Aaron Clarke

            Jesse Johnson did above, and then you didn’t reply..

    • Linda Gallello-Salinas

      right on.

    • 29makessense

      Amen!

    • Robert Michael Watson

      That’s all a bunch of crap…this is why the cartel is sending people up here to grow pot on our national parks in Cali….they stand a lot to lose if America decided to stop being a puss and grow the national supply demand here.

      Congress doesn’t deal in solutions. An idea that would probably fix our huge national debt problem? All but eliminate drug trafficking and most of the crime/violence/murders related to it? Nah.

      We need more border patrol. We need more prisons built so we can keep packing in all the drug offenders and addicts because that’s what works best here and anywhere else in the world. Come on people…the U.S. is known far and wide for our Drug Control Policy. After all, since 70-80% of the world’s illegal drug trade is financed by U.S. consumers we should be.

  • ronnie

    Your all f’ing idiots wasting your life talking about a topic which is irrelevant. It will never happen and regardless of if it does or doesnt. The pot head population doesnt care about all this bs they just want their pot. Weed is becoming less and less relevant anyway. The newer generations of other drugs now that are over taking our kids families and friends. This is why america is so messed up everypne always talking about stuff that isnt important to today’s generation. And who ever thinks weed will ever be completely legal your an idiot.

    • John

      You clearly have never visited a ski town in Colorado.

    • alan

      it is legal colorado washington amsterdam etc idiot.

      • 29makessense

        and coming to a state near you.

    • rob

      it is already legal in two states, so how is it never getting legalized? !!! haha your a hypocrite on “Your all f’ing idiots wasting your life talking about a topic which is irrelevant.” and your on the web reading it and talking about it…

      • Feli

        LOL yep totally pointless seeing even Missouri (aka bible thumpin central) they are taking legalization votes not just to help the sick but to MAKE JOBS you know that thing most of ya’ll don’t have :p

    • Chief_DiamondPhillups

      *you’re

      • Guest

        Conjunction Junction. What’s your function? Ronnie missed those as a kid because he was too busy killing small animals and wishing mommy hugged him some more

    • Linda Gallello-Salinas

      You may have a good point!

      • 29makessense

        The only point Ronnie has is a pointed head from wearing a dunce cap too often. There is a world outside Ronnie’s back yard.

    • SherylSimpson

      Not true. More and more people are using cannabis. And the dated stereotype of the stoner wasteoid is beyond passe. When even the POTUS is brooching the subject of decriminalization (hell, even Rick Perry agrees), legal weed is not as far fetched as you might think.

    • Just a friend of MJ

      Aren’t you on this irrelevant topic, commenting ‘YOUR’ opinion which you just said and I quote…. “YOUR(It’s YOU’RE by the way) all f’ing idiots wasting YOUR life talking about a topic which is irrelevant.” If everyone else is a F-ing idiot I wonder what that makes you? How would you know what all the “pot heads” want? You spoke with all of them? Made surveys about their thoughts, where’s your research???? “The newer generations of other drugs”. What does that even mean? Do you know the definition of the word drug or are you just carelessly trying to sound smart which it seems like YOU’RE doing a great job. Now tell mister I have all the answers. What drugs? Advil, cough drops? Weed will not be completely legal? Once again have you done research or are you being one of the ‘idiots’ you were calling us? Whether or not weed and other “illegal substances” are bad for us, no one shouldn’t be telling me what I can or can not do with my body… I believe that I should be legal but with restrictions, just as they did alcohol. For example… I don’t want to go to the hospital with a broken arm and have my doctor with blood shot eyes laughing at my injury, exaggeration maybe a little but I digress. Do I think after a long day of work you want to smoke a joint I don’t see the issue.

      • Sherry Bacon

        Well said MJ!!!

    • 29makessense

      One thing you have proven is that you don’t have an education. You don’t think freedom is worth talking about? People like you scare me. I hope you do not have or are planning to have any children.

  • Stefan Paul

    “all-time high”
    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    • http://abriluno.com Akoy Ciraulo

      Glad you had a laugh.

  • nik

    abril uno lol…april first..april fools lol

  • Wiley Robinson

    I think you got the stock price wrong, it was $420 a share

  • Jamie MacIsaac

    you’re all so misinformed. read books not internet articles

  • james

    © Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One,
    or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web
    publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except
    in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied
    or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual
    persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely
    as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only.

  • james

    it says that at the bottom of this page

  • c.a.greene

    its this legal grower/users opinion that these pot smokes wont sell to the dedicated smoker or the sick other than for novelty as the content is not certified organic. when med weed is grown indoors in canada there is only a plant number restriction not a light restriction or hydro use restriction. i can put 20 super growlux bulbs (1000w hps) in 1 8×10 room with 3 air conditioners and co2 bleeder system, creating an unnatural phenomenon, i have more lumens per square inch in my room than Jamaica at noon hr! unlike jamaica i control the temp of my room, making much better quality medicine. these pot smokes may sell in the usa or to first time med users, but the rest of us have our own supply of higher quality smoke. good luck with that shwag

  • skaiser1964

    It’s about TIME!

  • Joseph Carver

    Legal or not, who gives a shit, still going to smoke. Cheaper now being illegal.

  • ashley narine

    This is not true there stock is still at $81.00

  • Linda Gallello-Salinas

    Finally. However, the weed in Mexico and South America sucks. They need to come to Hawaii for the real stuff!

    • mouthpumper

      Canada….BC bud eh

      • c.a.greene

        agreed. i have more than 22 years experience growing quality buds.

        • mouthpumper

          nice c.a. I have a few friends in BC who are licensed growers for dispensaries in the Seattle area. It truly is an art to create the perfect bud.

      • Fred_Evil

        I’m going to need samples for comparison.
        Samples, an X-Box, and sufficient Cheetos to make such a determination.
        Now, who’s got my grant covered?

        • c.a.greene

          you would need to be Canadian and hold a legal exemption for me to share…look for purple God and black dominia, best weed i ever grew. could be because of my system though. ( i use reflective growing tent,ten 1000w super glowluxx hps bulbs in an 8×10 room with co2 bleeder, ionizers, charcoal filters 3000lbs, 3 air conditioners and fans with 10,000 cubic sq ft air exchange etc)

          • Fred_Evil

            I’d like to laugh, but I’m too busy writing that down….

      • Adam Marin

        Cali OG all day

  • Anonymous

    While this would be an awesome idea, if Marlboro actually did this, how much crap and chemicals would they taint the beautiful herb with when they put it in the form of a cigarette? Tobacco is a plant also, but it’s all the s h i t they put in it. Marlboro is a lousy company that contributes to ruining nature’s gifts.

    • Don John

      They can put what they want in it.. The natural stuff will still be for sale..

  • Maria Lucia Daflon

    Boycott! Make your own!

  • TwoInchTammy

    Booo!!! We don’t want your un-natural chemical weed cigs!

  • Emily

    It’s a spoof.

  • MannyMoeJack

    They’ve explored the idea of expanding not only into pot but also coke, meth, and crank cigarettes if they can persuade the politicos in D.C. to change their wrong headed views on pleasure and pain killing drugs.

  • Jeffrey Ambrose

    Advertising should NOT be allowed for pot cigarettes. I’m not against pot, I think that the money could/should be used for better things. Like paying higher wages, health care etc for staff

    • Eli Harrell

      So advertising alcohol is fine but not weed???

    • Don John

      Who are you to say how a company should pay their employees?? Marlboro (as well as any other mega company) would never pay their employees more instead of marketing…. They would go out of business over night… Have you no business sense??

      • Jeffrey Ambrose

        Don, you don’t get where I’m coming from at all. I was being extremely sarcastic, I don’t want to see these companies making any money off selling dope cigarettes. I would prefer small growers to profit instead of multinational companies. Get a sense of humour

  • Miki Kawasaki

    I agree with Emily, this sounds like a spoof. PM contacted former drug lords in Mexico & Paraguay ? I don’t think so.

    • Kevin Menke

      You dont think so? Why not? FORMER… These guys have the most experience…What cave do you live in ?

      • Miki Kawasaki

        No I don’t live in a cave. I work for a multinational. It is poor strategy to conduct business with former criminals. Maybe at your place of business at Burger House it’s hard to grasp that. Furthermore PM has assets in tobacco propagation all over the place. Converting some it over to cannabis production would make more sense for them than doing business with thugs.

        • Steve Goldschmidt

          Miki – you are spinning your wheels getting all Sherlock Holmes here. So smart you’re stupid perhaps? It says “Fictional, Fake, Satire, Spoof” in shiny bright red letters. Now go flip those burgers before they get overcooked.

        • Kevin Menke

          Miki – The US government, and many many large companies work with Criminals to develop strategies / business models because it is exactly these people that have the best understanding. The rebuttal above you made is even less intelligent than your original post.. “Maybe at your place of business at “burger house”.. guess what.. Burger King and likewise businesses are Multi-National companies….. Anymore foot in mouth comments or are you about done? (Or is this where you make fun of my grammar because you have no where else to turn?)

          • Miki Kawasaki

            Sure Kevin, I’m sure if I call the US State Dept. they’ll give me a list of all the drug lords they do business with to develop strategies. I don’t know who you work for but no company I’ve ever worked for would expose themselves to such risk.

    • liz

      yeah, i just shared this on my page and my nephew sent me a post from snopes saying it is a hoax. satire etc…
      i still like the picture though.

    • Steve Goldschmidt

      Dude – It says “Fact, Fictional, Spoof, Satire” all over the page.. you work for a multinational and you cant even see the big red letters telling you its satire? Not sure what you do there, but hopefully it doesn’t involve much thought. Might want to get a grip on yourself before you call out someone else for working at the Burger House.

    • Daniel McCunning

      Have you not looked at the tags?

  • George Rodriguez

    I hope it never happens.. lets let the little guy grow it.. if it were true it would suck big time.

    • gene456

      Why should it matter to you? All you want is your precious weed. Why should you care if big companies are making money off it? How does that effect you?

      • Jesse Johnson

        Jack-a$$. Why start problems? What does it matter to you that it matters to him? Lot’s of people who know what they are doing can grown it, therefore growing the economy in those areas. Think a little before posting.

        • gene456

          Shut the fcuk up! Who said you can talk?

          • Jesse Johnson

            So… your response to a logical answer is to tell me to shut the f*** up and act as if I am not allowed to talk? Hmmm… Interesting that I had the logical answer, and you come back with “shut the f*** up.” Smooth.

      • Melancholy

        If big tobacco starts marketing it, it’ll get all sorts of toxins added to it to cut the potency and make it addictive, and cancerous. That’s how it affects others and the entire WHY it matters, not just to people who partake of marijuana, but everyone.

        • gene456

          Pot is already cancerous. One joint (coming from God knows where) is estimated to equal about 3 cigarettes in terms of carcinogens.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Cite a source gene?

      • Dolphinlady

        Wow one sided thinking. I believe if you read the truth and not what most of are government tells you. It heals Cancer I have seen it myself from stage four too no cancer. I would pray that if one of your loved ones gets cancer or any of the many others things that can destroy your family(I pray it does not) your Closed mind would open to try and save them. I have seen this cure people I love. And when it is massively grown the quality is not there. They put chemicals on them which should not be there they hurt not help. Education and more education is what is needed

        • gene456

          You are truly sick in the head if you think marijuana “cures” cancer. All it does is stimulate the appetite. That’s not a cure. Get a clue, Missy.

          • Dolphinlady

            I see still not educating yourself your choice not mine. Have a great day :)

          • gene456

            If I made the absurd statement “The Moon is made of green cheese”, it would not be up to you to prove that I was wrong. It would be up to me to prove I was right. The same exact principle applies here with your absurd assertion that pot cures cancer.

      • Adam Marin

        get off the internet…. Your posts give me cancer but luckily i have cannabis.

        • gene456

          LOL! What a SICK mother fcuker!

      • Daniel Angulo

        ppl can do watever they want with there lifes u make your bad or good decisions, and if your not getting your paper your money. if u dont got money bro n sober. your just sad. and companies have been makin money off tabacoo buy the billions u jeolous bro:)

        • gene456

          Get straight, pal.

    • Sherry Bacon

      I agree with you!!! Friggin tabacco company’s don’t need to go to other countries to get what we should be doing right here in out own country!!!Drug lords…seriously people get a friggin clue,no wonder we don’t have any money!!!

    • Eli Harrell

      i don’t necessarily have a problem with the “big guy” but if Marlboro does to Marijuana what it did to tabaco then say goodbye to any health benefits it has. I’d like to smoke my weed without carpet glue, thank you.

  • Chiefkeef

    In ten years it will be legal in all states, think of all the money the states will save for not housing inmates for pot, and all the tax purposes, heck alcohol you can’t drink at work, can’t drive anywhere, can’t operate machinery, can’t be buzzed in public,so many restrictions for a good reason, alcohol makes ppl do bad decisions, dui, assault, rape, murder, never heard anyone doing that on pot! Legalize it! We as Americans should have the right to smoke pot

    • gene456

      “In ten years it will be legal in all states”
      - Where do you get THAT information?

      • Jesse Johnson

        He’s just giving an estimated time (non-statistical) based upon how things are going. He never stated it was a solid fact that exactly ten years from now every single state will have it legal. You should really learn to not take every little word you read on the internet literally and stop trying to cause fights. Thanks.

        • gene456

          Great speech. Now get back to your joint, lifelong druggie loser.

  • justsomeguy

    i could never trust a cigarette company making ” pot cigarettes ” and actually trust it’s 100% natural pot with no additives but thats besides that point as i feel this is a bunk story

    • Dave Brisley

      I think it’s a legit story but i’m torn to believe that itd be only pot probably like half and half

  • Kristy Sinsara

    I think it’s awesome. I do NOT smoke but I am very aware that smoking this crap is less harmful than freaking drinking alcohol so I say to each his own. Have fun pot heads!

    • Rich Kolasa

      Are you also “aware that that earth is much bigger than the sun”?

      • Richard Smothers

        WTF?

      • Dave Brisley

        Dude… She’s right

      • Everybodhi

        You are misinformed.

      • Kristy Sinsara

        I’m now aware that you’re an idiot…and that’s all that matters actually : )

  • Don John

    I think it’s funny how tons of people in here are talking crap about the chemicals that Marlboro might put in their cigs… These same people eat McDonald’s and TV dinners instead of eating healthy… If you are going to vilify Marlboro, do the same for McDonald’s, and stop paying their mortgage.

    • Everybodhi

      I never eat at McDonalds, or anywhere like that. I don’t eat frozen mass produced dinners, either.
      People are getting wiser about what they put in their bodies.
      The more people that talk about it, the more conscious they become and the more people change.

      • Don John

        You are not the rule though, but the exception to it… Most dont care… My comment was for the ones who are villainizing Marlboro as they eat their Big Mac. If you dont want crap in your body, dont put it there, but there obviously is a market for it. If America stopped eating McDonald’s even for a week, they’d go out of business… Same with Marlboro..

  • Guest

    Have you noticed the name of the magazine? Of course it’s satire! Come on, folks.

  • Alex

    I’m sure they’ll develop a way to kill us all.

    • Everybodhi

      They will add addictive toxins, and call them, “trade secrets”, as they did with tobacco.

  • sjburkhardt

    Just goes to show that people do not fully read :P

    • sjburkhardt

      Actually, this would be a sound business move a few years down the road, after more states make it legal

  • Roz Dotson

    Tags: fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire,spoof…hahahahahaha
    (love the stock rise though…major wishful thinking at this time…but all the tobacco companies bought land decades ago for this eventuality)

  • celio

    I’ll like MUCH. VERY

  • Daniel Angulo

    everyone has there own lives. if people want to smoke its all good, if people want to not smoke its all good. worry bout yourself and not others. live life the way u want to not how other ppl want. lifes a garden u dig it:)

  • Andy Acosta

    so they can stuff it with fucking chemicals.

  • isaacsg

    Unfortunately, (I hope it doesn’t but it is a highly demanding product) Some day the companies will have to compete. We will see ads everywhere (I see so many ads about anti-depressant this and anti anxiety that). They will have the marijuana business down to a science and in the end the user (us) will have to suffer. Take cigarettes for example, growing your own tobacco and rolling your own cig is far better than buying a pack of cigarettes from the store, right? But Cigarette companies have gotten so many competitors due the huge demand of the product back in the day that they needed to differentiate themselves from the competition. So some cigarettes companies put different things, call them chemicals or call them spices or whatever, inside their cigarette so their customers prefer their brand instead of the others, right? Now, companies might not put the same stuff that goes into cigarettes into joints, or maybe they might, what do I know but that is the route Cannabis can end up on. And I say can because it doesn’t have to! Let’s not give those big name companies a chance to profit from a natural medicine. They have pills, cigarettes and other things, Don’t let them have the good green ganja! Stoners and supporters alike, let’s educate ourselves and have integrity when we use something as great as weed! Support your local dispensaries and companies with integrity that provide the wonderful herb because there will be a point when we will all have to choose. We can take down the unfair and unjust CEOs who think because they have the big bucks will be able to provide what they think is best for us. We are the only ones that have the power to create new standards in society, not them. Marijuana Cigarettes made by big name companies should not be the standard!
    Marijuana is an experience that can never be put into a small box.
    Happy smoking!

    • Everybodhi

      This is a satire site, but, the day is coming when corporations will be marketing marijuana, everything you say about additives and, “trade secrets”, is true.
      The corporate weed will be cheap, but people will still purchase from, “specialty micro-grows”, much like people pay more for micro brew beer than Budweiser, and a few even take up the hobby to brew their own.

    • Matt Stevens

      100% agree. Say no to advertising and let the people decide

    • Ted

      Best part about this, states can impose a tax and the Federal Government can’t because it is still federally illegal. Just don’t allow the transports to get caught.

  • POOP LOL

    Hell yeah. im stoked.

  • dea

    all you potheads suck!

  • Wendell Powell

    Now thats my kind of cigarette I am going to stop kentuckys best and go to these lol

  • Dag Nabit

    There is an error with the article. Phillip Morris stock actually hit $420 after the announcement.

  • Matt Stevens

    While I love a smoke and am all for legalization, I think advertising should be banned as it is with cigarettes

  • Chris Sorey

    Yep, Knew it was going to happen. No telling what all they are going to put in these suckers..

  • http://fuckedyobitch.com/ suigetsuthirsty

    this whole article is bs they bought all the ad time for next years super bowl right…

  • Shameless6962

    I hope Phillip Morris can do that I would really like for North Carolina to be legalized marijuana for medical or legalizing for good like those other two states are it does not hurt you it does not make you do other drugs it helps people with cancer with back problems it just is I all around good thing so please legalize marijuana.

    • Brook

      Agreed, I live in Nc and it would be a blessing

  • thehomeland

    For everyone about to comment — scroll down to the very very bottom of the page and read the underlined sentence. And then check for that for every news site you visit, ever.

  • Marcus G

    probably gonna be some bogus weed doe. with a bunch of chemicals added.
    thats whats going to cause cancer and fuck people up and everyones going to blame it on the herb and ignore the added ingredients.

    • Don John

      Yep.. But they will remain in business because the sheeple are idiots, not because the companies are meanies…

      • DuanePaulson

        You mean the sheeple who don’t read the disclaimers at the bottom of satire site pages?

        • Feli

          LOL which is why it makes it 100% more fun to mess with em XD

        • Don John

          Something like that… I care not if this article is satire or not. The moral of the story is that people expect the McDonalds’ and the Marlboros in the world to make something that is “good for them” instead of taking it into their own hands.. If more people did (take their own wellbeing into their own hands), the big mean companies would drop like flies… Just sayin…

  • Matt

    Yea…… About that $998.00 per share from $83.03 per share. Complete and utter BS!!!

    • Jennifer Ranin

      …and what do you expect from a satirical article? the truth? lol

      • Matt

        Never. Just wanted to make sure others did not think that information was relevant.

    • mikerush

      I figure the stock price would top out at $420. ;-)

      • http://abriluno.com Akoy Ciraulo

        I didn’t think about that..lol

  • Pat Shelton

    i think everyone commenting here is stoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Feli

      >.> why hell stoned girl? :D

    • Ann O’Mynous

      LOL, no kidding.

  • Eudaimon

    marlboro actually has copyrighted a couple names for their eventual sale of cannabis. “marlboro greens” no joke

  • Beckett Lappas

    The problem I am having with this is, will it have a filter? What will be added to the marijuana? Philip Morris admits to having added more nicotine to cigarettes to make them more addictive. Marijuana doesn’t need anything added to it, and those who smoke it, bake with it, cook with it, don’t need a cute little box to keep it in. Those little plastic bags work just fine, and we can roll our own as we go. Tobacco companies are not needed here. pffft

  • Beckett Lappas

    I get that this is supposed to be a satire (read through the comments), but seriously, could it happen? I wouldn’t be surprised, and when it does, my previous comment will still stand true for my thoughts on the matter. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

  • Kush_Dean

    see they are the type of company to put something extra in them to make them cause cancer and ruin it for everybody…smh

  • vtriplei

    thank you based god

  • twistedtail

    GUYS…satire
    (check the bottom of the page and every page on this site)

  • dog

    © Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One,
    or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web
    publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in
    cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied
    or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons,
    living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a
    satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only.

  • Chris Stanley

     LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE IDIOTS! All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only. 

    • Dirk Morgan

      got cha!!

  • isaacsg

    This is a fictitious article, sure.
    But the relevance is real! It can be anyways.
    Prepare to see articles like this on Yahoo and Magazines (maybe not the part of the Superbowl ad or the ridiculous rise in market share)
    But the implications may be real! :p

  • Pat

    Thank you to all the people who are so much smarter than the rest of us for letting us know this article is not real.What would we do without you? (masterbate?!??!?!?)

    • Joey Ding Dong

      That’s not how you spell masturbate

      • Pat

        When you do it the way I do it, that is how it is spelled.

        • christy

          hahahahaha… awesome!

        • Francisco ElGuapo Rios

          Pat ’1′, Grammar Nazi Joey ’0′

  • Hassan Elkatawneh

    Tags: fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire, spoof
    which that mean it not real it is just a joke

  • Charles Purdy

    Alright, Akoy Ciraulo, your writing was so professional on this “news” article, you fooled even me, who always preaches to others to research the postings they find around the Net. Thanks to you and the other contributors, this site is far better than the National Report. Excellent job well done to all, it’s very entertaining.

    • Daniel Burks

      A give away is the fact that tobacco companies can’t advertise on television.

      • Barbara Lynn Glazeski

        Right? I was thinking, even if they were allowed to advertise in CO and WA, the placement of that type of ad during the Superbowl of all things is pretty ridiculous in notion.

      • plumberskid

        A “give away” is the name at the top of the page……

    • http://abriluno.com Akoy Ciraulo

      Thank you!

  • Latasha Skouby

    Why are you not using American marijuana growers for this product? I do not want this product if it is imported from Mexico!

    • aldousd

      Hi. Satire.

  • Tom Keefer

    If it is still a Federal crime, how can they not be held liable for “distribution of a controlled substance”? Or are you saying it’s OK for big business to grow, but you’ll be jailed if you home grow?

    • Samantha Thompson

      It’s not illegal to Grow your own in Colorado…

      • Barbara Lynn Glazeski

        Maybe not, but many states that legalized it for medical use require you to “grow” it yourself. Some people do so at home, while others pay for space in greenhouse established for that purpose. I don’t know of anywhere that it is legal to grow recreationally, but medically, there are some.

    • Francisco ElGuapo Rios

      I’m sure they’ll allow people to grow a few plants for personal use, kind of like with alcohol. You can make your own wine, for example, just can’t sell it.

    • Rich Cobalt Perkins

      Good thing its fake you moron.

  • Science guy

    Are you people retarded? Can you not read the tags at the bottom of the article that say ‘fake news’, ‘fictional news’ and ‘spoof’? Please grow a brain, for the sake of mankind.

    • Hefe

      Grow a brain now who’s the scholar.

  • Daryle Mullins

    love it! about time! love the legal states! love all of you, you are doing such a great thing! just because we have people that wont to cry little little girls about it??? so what? they are to immoral to see that drunk drivers kill people every day! this is what gets under my skin? this acl thing need to be banned for life the same as theses fake drugs, so again I love all the states that are making weed legal. so stop crying little girls and go after the real things that matter!

    • Jeff Kidwell

      yea cause that’s just what we want. Potheads with a slower reaction time (which has been proven many times over) getting behind the wheel of a two ton or bigger automobile. I can agree alcohol and drunk driving is just as bad. Anyone who kills another person while behind the wheel of a vehicle due to any kind of intoxication should get the death penalty. You can spout off how good you think it is all ya want , but impaired is impaired , and there will be just as many negatives as positives by legalization.

  • Daryle Mullins

    even tho this is a joke hahaha, but they are states have been making weed legal, god bless each and every one of them! love you all!

  • Brook

    To good to be true☆★☆

  • Ernie Williams

    who would make a better Marlboro M man… Cheech or Chong…

    • Van Heflin

      Snoop Lion or Dogg. Whatever he calls himself now.

  • cat4liberty

    That would be the worst thing for marijuana legalization if it were true! Talk about giving pot a bad name! They would fill it full of chemicals just like they did to cigarettes!

  • Chris Hanson

    I think they had this at Mavericks International today

    • linny

      Twiggy won

  • Michael Casten

    PROUDLY MADE IN THE PHILIPPINES

  • David Freeman

    Great idea, enjoy your chemical laced weed.

  • Samantha Thompson

    Now why on earth would the people of Colorado choose to but pre packaged Mexican dirt weed when they already have awesome local bud to smoke- which by the way you can buy prerolled at the dispensaries….

  • robynstewart

    This is what is at the bottom of the page. I don’t know why some of you object to being called morons. If you think this is real, then you are. lol

    “© Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only. Please read our Privacy Policy.”

  • Dj Subflo

    This story is fake why is everyone reporting / re posting it. Even at the bottom of the page the hashtag is #fakenews

  • RobinHeartilly

    its the ending to the weeds series. derp.

  • w. van

    Man , where has common sense gone . This story is complete BS . If you people will believe this , its really no long a surprise to me that people get taken advantage of the way they do .

  • Amber

    I would love it if it was true

    • Dirk Morgan

      how much a pac? no a carton>?

  • bonnielou

    I’ve been reading a lot lately about how addictive and dangerous tobacco is. They’re talking about limiting the amount of nicotine allowed in a cigarette, or even outlawing real tobacco cigarettes and only allowing e-cigarettes. Now that marijuana is becoming acceptable and legal, will tobacco became the new illegal drug? Gotta keep those private prisons in the US filled somehow!

    • titbeater

      Sadly you’re right. Private prisons are one of the worst things to happen to this country.

  • Jane Goethel

    I live in Arizona where medical pot is legal if you have a pot card which I do. My question is are they going to market it for states like Arizona and California? I can buy at a dispensary. I really hope so!

    • Omar Amador

      I think they are only currently looking to aim this at general legalization since it requires no license at all, making it both easier to advertise and sell to those of age that can legally purchase the product. It may be a bit more red tape for them to deal with medicinal pot at the moment, although this is just my presumption.

      • Omar Amador

        Also, this article can be a hoax.

        • Ann O’Mynous

          It’s fake.

    • Dirk Morgan

      how much a pac?

  • Jason Shane Archambo

    Have been “High” on the idea of marketing cannabis lol. Love it, how original. This would be cool in some ways.

  • alk3

    it did not hit 998… get your facts straight

  • Tonya Corbin

    instead of wasting $15,000,000,000 advertising it. How about helping the poor. “If you build it, they will come.” Something like this does not even need advertising.

  • Ynni Himaaja

    my question would be that for Phillip Morris, that what kind of blend you would have in your cigarettes? And do you use pesticides ?

    • Will Rapp

      It will not be long when cannabis cigarettes via Marlboro has the same toxic chemicals and additives as their regular tobacco cigarettes. Bring on the commercialization!!

    • Elisha Lavon Austin Haywood

      where can I get some

      • Dirk Morgan

        can i take a case home?

    • Oldtimemoonshine

      they dont grow their tobacco. They get it from 1000′s of farmers world wide….. and thats how you would get your weed if it this story were true.

  • Sterling Young

    it is a hoax

    • Nicole Smith

      Yep lol!

    • plumberskid

      Gotta get up pretty early in the morning to fool you, eh?

  • city puzzle

    :))

  • Jose Rizal

    don’t smoke that GMO weed!! it grows a fungus in your pancreas

  • Dan Lu

    wait for the Genetic splice to make the weed plants produce Nicotine!

    • Catherine Dye

      Exactly!

  • Dan Lu

    The truth is it would probably be the best money and science could grow. Phillip Morris has so many years experience messing with plants.

    • Oldtimemoonshine

      Why don’t you do yourself a favor and give your logic at least 5 minutes of thought before you post something so ridiculous and un-insightful again.

      • Oldtimemoonshine

        Do you want frankenweed? Monsato’s frankenweed? Um no. They import their tabocco anyway. We dont want chemicals in our weed ya fool liberal! This would be a nightmare for cannabis consumers.

        • Lynette

          Phillip Morris is in the state of Virginia and most tobacco feilds come from these regions.

  • Carl Golenberg

    buy stocks now people… ;)

  • lcf

    Dat tags

  • Me Vandenberg

    Is this for real?
    Here it comes the greedy USA corporation looking for a way to make money regardless of how.

  • Daniel Bradfield

    Its a sattire, fake news people!

  • https://hjbuell.com/ H. J. Buell

    Marlborjuana for the win, and the need to smoke it in order to appreciate thinly veiled and obviously tagged satire.

  • Catherine Dye

    DAMMIT! NOW THEY’RE GONNA START PUTTING NICOTENE AND OTHER CHEMICALS IN IT AND IT WON’T BE PURE ANYMORE! I SAY BOYCOTT!

  • slight burn

    Its a hoax right now but it is also the future if legalized across the country you can bet Marlboro will job on then band wagon. Plus with articles like this causing buzz it will draw Marlboros attention which will make them interested in funding the fight to legalize it everywhere. They just need to realize that there is a lot of money to be made.

  • Oldtimemoonshine

    THIS IS SATIRE FOLKS. OR was it a test to see how the public would react to the tobacco giants selling weed. They know they are running out of time and losing millions as less and less folks smoke cigs. They were testing the waters with this…..you know they will mix weed and tabacco for those smokers who like it that way…ackkk!!!!!

  • Sylvie Brule

    en francais svp merci <3

  • Shawn Earle

    I’m sure it is fake! But do people really want their 12 year old kids waiting for the bus while smoking dope? Like they do with cigarettes now! Drugs R Bad M’kay!

    • Alybee

      Least it wont kill them as fast as a cigarette actually can…
      … Or cause 2nd hand smoke problems like cigarettes do :P

      • david myers

        marijuana joints are seven times worse on the lungs than cigarettes. and the 2nd hand smoke from them will not only damage the lungs too, but will give others a contact high. so yes, they are more dangerous than cigarettes.

        • THETRUTH

          David you obviously have no idea what you on about.. shutup please

          • RM

            I am not sure about the 7 times figure, but common sense does tell me that inhaling smoke is harmful. Now if they begin “vaping” that might be a different story.

        • Poke Smot

          Blinded by the propaganda the media has fed you.

        • dan

          Where are you getting this information? I am a medical marijuana patient, and i have seen no studies that say that marijuana smoke is as dangerous as you say. I’m smoking a natural substance, with no chemicals, nothing like what tobacco contains. Id prefer a contact high than suffer from second hand smoke from a cigarette.

          • RM

            So if you smoke “organic” cigarettes (like what is all the rage in Arizona) than that is not bad for you? Is there any way to “vape” marijuana ? Just curious. If I was a smoker I would switch to vaping

          • Geri Loya

            There is a vaporizer made for marijuana. There are no studies proving pot is harmful. All studies come back saying just the opposite.

            Look it up. Plenty of real documented research information out there.

          • RM

            As I suspected… the scientific evidence is all over the place. As for smoking, burning any substance (including meat on a grill for example) creates carcinogens…. when absorbed they flood the body with free-radicals. I am not too concerned about what science has to say…. MJ is a perfect representation of how science is very much influenced by humans – you can find the “science” to support any point of view. (Note: I will concede that my research consisted of a 5 minute perusal on google!)

            King James of England in 1604 had enough common sense to figure out that smoking was hazardous (of course he was making some religious connections as well) The story is he studied deaths in house fires where people died from smoke inhalation and made a simple connection… 360 years before the FDA got on board using science.

            BTW: you say “There are no studies proving pot is harmful” ummmmm… it took me about 2 seconds to find many studies concluding pot is bad for you.

            I believe in freedom, what you want to do as long as it harms no one else or more importantly no one I significantly care about ;) then have at it. But scientific evidence does about as much for me as religious evidence. Both are heavily influenced by man.

            But cheers to you!

          • Geri Loya

            Try searching benefits instead of propaganda. People who do not believe there are medical benefits will never be persuaded differently.

            Look up the history of marijuana prohibition in the United States.

            Before someone goes off about the dangers of youth smoking marijuana, I do not believe in it’s recreational use among teenagers. I DO believe it can benefit youth with such diseases as, epilepsy and cancer (I won’t name them all), and only if monitored and prescribed by a medical professional.

            There are many studies, scientific, private, and yes, even government studies, that relay the benefits of medical marijuana use over the pharmacological nightmare drugs on the “legal market” – Legal drugs that cause addiction, side effects requiring more “legal drugs” to counteract, and the drugs to counteract those side effects. We could open a bigger can of worms by listing the effects of alcohol, heroin, cocaine and meth VS. the effects of marijuana use.

            You will find no such side effects for marijuana.

            You repeat that you’re concern is over deposits of carcinogens in the lungs. There IS scientific proof that marijuana has not caused ANY cases of lung cancer. Having said that, a vaporizer would be the way to go for anyone concerned about tar deposits in the lungs.

            I’m not a scientist, but I have done a lot of homework on the subject, as well as ask a lot of questions. I have looked at both sides of the scientific coin, and you will not convince me that this naturally growing plant, used worldwide, is not a medicinal wonder. There are too many facts out there to deny the actual benefits

            So, I’ll end it here. I am confident in my knowledge that regardless of the reasons, marijuana should be legal for adults over the age of 21 without interference by government and big pharmaceutical companies out to make a big buck off of desperate people in need of relief from hundreds of illnesses and diseases.

            I appreciate your candor. I appreciate your opinion. I certainly hope you appreciate mine.

          • RM

            Actually I think your is a well thought out and valid post… Thank you! I believe that it is only on the point of promotion of marijuana that we disagree. but I respect your opinion. To be honest, I am generally apathetic about the subject and will admit that I am at best mildly informed. I can tell you that I am proud that at the age of 44 I have never been on a prescription drug (other than a few brief prescriptions for sever strep, flu, etc.), and I am determined to avoid them for as long as possible. So we agree regarding pharmaceutical companies.

            I believe that people can be persuaded, if they have an open mind. It seems as if on these message boards very few do, so I appreciate your opinion and candor. Legalization would likely be further along with proponents as straightforward and lucid as you.

          • Geri Loya

            I am 46 with a genetic bone malformation. I have had countless surgeries, and been on heavy narcotics for pain relief. I can tell you from experience, narcotics do not work, and are prescribed like candy by a lot of medical professionals.

            The DEA does very little when it comes to their use (when legally prescribed by a medical professional), but will raid the home of someone with a medical marijuana license (in such states where medical use is legal).

            I have taken myself off of narcotics after 3 years of use because they made me into a slug. Zero ambition, depression and a lot of weight gain. And that is to name just a few of the side effects associated with their use, but no real pain relief.

            I have used marijuana for pain relief, and it works. I respect those who do not wish to smoke it, or be around it. I appreciate your response, and I thank you for appreciating mine. It is refreshing not to have to argue, and instead, have a real conversation with differing points of view. Something we see rarely on the world wide web.

          • Brian Straub

            Yes you can vape MJ.

        • Edward Putney

          That is so BS where do you do your research?

          • Tom Hale

            Learn to read pal.
            Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only.

          • RM

            Hey Tom… he was responding to a comment saying pot is bad for you… not the story itself… just fyi… ;)

        • Adrianna Vietmeyer

          Contact high…..ur kidding right i dnt smokeweed but u can not get a contact high from standing next to,someone or being n the same room or car as them learned this when i was a pot head n had to take drug classes

        • Brandon Scott

          contact high? You obviously have your facts misconstrued. As I have learned from co-workers (probation officers), I can tell you that the only way you can get “contact” high is if you were in a closet with others and had weed burning in that confined space for a long period of time. Hours to be exact. just simply standing next to someone won’t do it. .

        • Lynette

          David- You are so wrong!!! Maybe you should look into more websites that can give you a well rounded out look on the reality of legalizing marijuana. Amsterdam has had it legal for many years, you might want to note -drug related issues-deaths-second hand smoke related records- CRIME. Maybe you can get to the bottom of your disire to fabricate untrues. Probably brought up in a house that was closed mind to all except legalizing alcohol which in the years to come has proven to be a big mistake

        • Jeremy Morgan

          a recent study of 5,000 pot smokers by UCSF and University of Alabama showed that those who only smoke a few joints a week actually had stronger lung capacity and external blowing force than non-users. A 2005 UCLA paper also shows that marijuana smoke might actually help to PREVENT lung cancer. Unlike tobacco, which contains nicotine and is a known carcinigen, marijuana contains cannibinoids and THC, which seem to discourage cancer. It is also impossible to die of an overdose.

          • RM

            Actually I looked around and found a site that showed similar research. pot and tobacco both produce carcinogens (when smoked) but that pot stimulated the production of an enzyme that inhibited uptake of the carcinogen… I need to find the link but I was surprised at the findings..

            Thanks for the info! (I will find the link and edit this comment with it)

      • RM

        I am not a smoker (of anything – just not my thing). I have nothing against weed, I figure it likely is no more harmful than my preferred drug – alcohol. But in my opinion it is delusional to think you can burn anything (pot/tobacco/hooka etc.) and inhale it directly into your lungs without serious long term health risks. Especially the thought that one plant is somehow better than another. Burning anything produces a massive quantity of carcinogens.

        • Jeremy Morgan

          Educate yourself cannabis actually helps expand your lungs and doesn’t float your liver like booze.

          • RM

            And where should I go for this “education?” By all accounts you first need to decide if you want to smoke pot. If you do then there is much research saying it is great for you. If you don’t then there is just as much research saying it is horrible for you. So it simply is not a matter of “education”.

            Doesn’t it seem like “science” and “education” have been reduced to buzzwords (no pun intended) to make people feel good about themselves. I have seen so many references to “science” here as if that should automatically end the argument. Just like 20 years ago… when Salmon, avocados, eggs, and nuts were bad for the heart. All you need to do is eat fat free hot dogs and Twinkies and diet soda and you were good to go…. because remember it was scientifically proven that fat is bad for the heart.

            This is definitely the age where common sense is no longer common… just my two cents

          • Jeremy Morgan

            Any health journal in the last 10 yrs would be a good start

          • RM

            So I ask a specific question and you give a generic answer… Take a look at the HIH (National Institutes of Health) and the education does not support what you are saying. Like I said before, I could dedicate myself to finding research supporting pot use and find plenty and I could dedicate myself to finding research critical of pot use and find plenty as well.

            Your recommending that someone ‘educate’ them-self implies they are not informed or educated. The fact that you can not give a reasoned or logical answer makes me suspect that either, you do not have the desire to have a conversation (then why even engage in one) or as I suspect, the person needed an ‘education’ is most likely you.

            No offense and have a good one ;)

          • RM

            And Jeremy… Im sorry if I am coming across the wrong way…. Too often it seems as if people are more concerned about their own opinions rather than listen to others.

            In short I believe that anything absorbed into the body not intended by nature (tobacco, pot, alcohol, caffeine, trans fats, processed sugar etc.etc. etc.) Is more likely than not going to cause harm with any considerable exposure.

            I think it is ridiculous to incarcerate people for using pot. But I am not on board with the idea that pot is somehow wonderful for you.

        • Brian Straub

          Vaporize it, much healthier

        • Lynette

          carcinogens- Big words for little meaning. They are created by the by products introduced into the tabaco products as to keep product on a longer shlelf life. Spirit cigarrets are all natural and do not contain anything other than the tabacco from the feilds to which they are grow

      • Shawn Earle

        Well any smoke inhaled into the lungs is going to do damage, and it will also kill their brain cells! Lol!

        • Shawn Earle

          Also everyone will be running around smelling like cat piss and that don’t sound pleasant to me! Lol! Sorry but i have people in my family that are addicted and i see it destroying the quality of their life every day!

        • Lynette

          Catpiss is a tainted form of marijuana Tell the family to get the real deal or stay away. Fake marijuana might be legal but is deadlier than alchol

        • Lynette

          Brain cells die by the hour in the natural state of the body. Use both sides of the brain before claiming to know anything about these matters

          • david myers

            so killing them with a chemical is ok? no. and smoking a joint is just as if not more damaging to the lungs then a cigarette. if people want to argue that it should be their right to decide to smoke, fine. but don’t sit here and bend the truth by trying to make weed out as safe. so many people are doing just that and it is ridiculous. its not safe. should it be legal like alcohol? maybe, but it isn’t safe.

    • Lynette

      Kids should not be smoking at all!!! Wheres the parents????

  • Jeannette Passanisi

    This article is fake. Phillip Morris shares closed on Friday at $81.50 and their official website has nothing on it about Marlboro M

    • SWalkerTTU

      I wouldn’t have guessed…but for the grammatically incorrect name of the site.

  • Scott Wren

    Thanks for ruining the fun for the people who actually believed this story Jeannette…you took away their joy, you MUST be a Republican

  • Jamie Wagner

    actually kid with add and adhd it helps and no side effects like prescription drugs id be all for it medically and if it legalized why would u complain no more prison time or jail time

  • William Haburne

    and then after buying stock everyone run to the fast food munchie stores to celebrate. lmao

  • Kahuna

    Hehehe – classic domain name – April Fool! That said, would love to see this legalisation happen. Hemp is one of the most useful plants on the planet and it would be intriguing to see the tobacco giants battling against the oil, plastics, cotton and other multi-nationals (and the drug lords!) who would suffer financially if it ever is completely legalised. Uruguay, the first country to legalise all aspects of hemp growing (on Dec10, 2013), is the current test case!

  • Jack le Critic

    Imagine the bad shit they’d put in, on top of the good shit lol

  • Armando Gancerez

    Marijuana unrolls Cancer in your body and when you got cancer it kills the pain but it also speeds up the cancer they are not doing it to thin out the population

  • Vendeline Hawk

    I mean how could they make marijuana cigs when it is illegal in that state? No way this is real. However, I am a cancer patient and I’m all for legal medical use and instead of Phillip Morris making a ton on money so people can all walk around high. Let’s make meds.

  • be more observant

    *facepalm* obviously nobody read the tags for this article.

  • Dr. Chemist

    If corporations start producing marijuana cigarettes like tobacco cigarettes, they will taint it with chemicals just like they do tobacco. Grow your own organically. Forget corporations…

    • Chris Morales

      i AGREE 100 %

  • Jose Joe

    Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only.
    Please read our Privacy Policy. you all are shit heads for real.

  • TheMediaFairy

    Your work here is done … I have been delightfully entertained. ;-)

  • Mike Hanson

    “said in an interview that the company has been high on the idea of marketing cannabis,” NO DOUBT!

  • Brian D Powers

    998 shot up to 83.03. Someone wrote this from Colorado

    • keeves

      Or maybe you’ve just been hitting the bong too much because it reads “shot up to 998 from 83.03″ Colorado is actually one of the most educated states.

      • Charles S. North

        Then why is everybody so stupid in Colorado?

        • Brittany Palmer

          Because they’re all high.

  • kidcat24

    Oh geeze now you’re going to get another right wingers panties in a bunch. Just like the one that believed people were using food stamps to buy weed.

  • S Whitney Spitz

    I know this is a hoax, but regardless, there is no way a corperation like that could legitamitly outsource their bud from drugloards in mexico and south america. Nor can you produce such a product in a state where its illegal. And, not to mention the chemicals that are added, you would be getting a “dirt weed” product.

  • Lynette

    Great Idea if they would legalize cannibas just as they did liquor they would create more revenue for our trillion dollar debt and leave others pain free and glacoma relived. It is good for many other ailments and to say that smoking it causes people to go on to using harder narcotics is a bunch of crap. Cannibas is a natural grow herb that God has given for those who would like to live pain free and function as a part of society. After all you don’t here about eople going out and killing people driving down the road as you do alcholic beverages. I am for prohibiting liquor sales that cause liver disease and auto wrecks on a daily basis and putting marijuana on perscription list

    • david myers

      God doesn’t endorse using any drug to get high, so don’t go there. i am not speaking of people in terrible pain from chemo, i am talking about getting high for fun. its immoral, no matter how someone tries to twist it.

      • Lynette

        God made everything and he said IT IS GOOD. God also gives the choice. Morales are based on Gods will. Not laws or others that think they are better than anyone else. The last is first and the first is last according to his will. READ your BIBLE if you own one! Not just what you want to here but the whole ttruth.

        • David Hudson

          Let me asked you a question? Do you eat vegetable or any kind of fruit veg? David i tell you what, you got it wrong. God has made us above all wild animals and plants and we should all dwell in it. Me has a person my medicine is marijuana. and my marijuana my strength and am heal. So WTF!!!!

          • shaun

            this is a very strange place for a religious debate…

          • Damien Woodgate

            I think the term is “shit-flinging”

      • jj44587

        God doesnt endorse anything because god doesn’t exsist. Dont push your morals onto the rest of us. Why do I need to abide by christian morals when I am not a christian? If its against your morals, great, dont smoke it. Problem solved. Leave me and my morals out of your crazy religious jibber jabber. Murder is immoral. Rape is immoral. Smoking weed is a preference. Wtf is wrong with people??

      • Harry Brooks

        SO WHAT WOULD A PERSON TAKE FOR FIBROMYALGIA PAIN .. THE POISON THAT BIG PHARMA MAKES

        • Mark

          My doc has me on over 10 scripts a day. since I started smoking 1 joint a day I have stopped 4 of the harshest drugs, including a hormone therapy for appitite stimulation. the hormones had me going through Menopause as a 49 yr old man… So dont knock it till you give it a try.

      • Darryl

        Actually God wants us to be happy, and has created an herb as just one of many ways to help facilitate that. It can also help with creativity, tolerance and viewing life in a different, and less jaded perspective. So don’t go there with your morality argument….don’t forget, God created it….unadulterated by man.

        • Thom Arvin

          you sound so crazy.. you are making us look bad

          • Darryl

            “Us”? Who all are YOU speaking for? Not me. May I suggest you stop limiting yourself to such a narrow view, and open up to broader horizons. Your personal aversion to pot doesn’t change the truth that God created it. My guess is you subscribe to a right-wing perverted religious worldview. Evolve already…..you can start by changing where you get your spiritual guidance. Over and out!!!

      • Jamie Burke

        Don’t be a drunk. Doesn’t mean don’t have a beer. Same here. You can have just a bit and relax.

        • Jamie Burke

          (water, wine, be merry.. you know)

      • Molly

        Heroin comes from poppy seeds, which is a natural plant from the earth. Your logic is full of fallacy and makes no sense. Alcohol is made from hops, natural plant coming from the earth.

        • Molly

          And this reply was meant for Lynette

        • Thom Arvin

          marijuana grows as marijuana… beer and heroine don’t just sprout out of a plant… and beer isn’t made from hops, thats just for preservative/flavor

        • Cory R Myers

          alcohol isn’t made from hops, hops were introduced to beer as a flavoring agent and act as a stabilizer, alcohol is caused by the fermentation of the starches and sugars in the base plant of the alcohol, i.e, wheat and barley for beers and ales, and rye, tater, and corn for hard liquors.

      • SammySweetleaf

        Why is having fun immoral?

      • Jennifer Jinx Hodson

        What a joke. The bible is the last place to look for morality! Misogyny, slavery and such, which the bible condones, are immoral, in my opinion.

  • Vito Aiello

    Read the article title.It’s not real.Early April fools joke.

  • PamelaHaley

    Somehow I doubt the Ads sill get around the cigarette ad ban. It’s still promoting a combustible product to a wide audience which includes minors.

  • Candia Smith

    What are they adding to the product?

  • Dominick Carlini

    I know this is obviously fake, but if they did decide to do this, i wouldnt buy. I dont need some big company spraying a bunch of deadly chemicals onto a harmless plant, no thanks.

  • Russ Cobleigh

    read the book Acapulco Gold, written back in 1975

    • Cathy Henes

      why

  • Slain Illuzion

    I hope this is a Satire because I have reached out to Phillip Morris and other Tobbacoo companies for our Cannarette and Cannagar Products which are Cannabis Cigarettes made with a Hemp Paper Smoking Cylinder and Organic Cotton Filtered Tube and Hemp Leaf Cigars. Now I have to email them again! We launch in Colorado in a few weeks

    • Brian Webb

      Read the tags.

  • Frankly Knot

    Obviously satire. Besides, why would anyone buy weed from a cigarette company when it will grow just about anywhere?

    • Forrest Rainford

      True but tobacco will grow just about anywhere too but you don’t see many people growing it themselves either

      • Frankly Knot

        Big difference between curing tobacco for smoking and simply drying out some weed to smoke. Be that as it may, there are plenty of people that grow their own tobacco.

  • Guy Mcfemme

    And they would still have formaldehyde in them.

  • Josh Abraham

    It’s labeled “Fake news” guys. Check Phillip Morris’ stock ticker, they’re still trading at $81 per share #exposed

    • gene456

      But suppose it really happens, Josh. Will you be happy then?

  • gene456

    I posted the following comment in response to one of the readers here. I’m posting it again because I think everyone here should see it:

    This article is a hoax. Marlboro is not selling legalized pot (at least, not yet). This is a childish joke, I grant you. What can one expect from the potheads? But the bottom line is it’s fake.

    Let me make clear that I am not in favor of marijuana legalization. While marijuana is not itself a hard drug, it DOES lead to impaired driving, perhaps not as strongly as alcohol, but a recent review in the British Medical Journal found people who used marijuana within three hours of driving were nearly twice as likely to cause a crash as a sober driver. It is also – in spite of the multitude of vociferous lies put forth on this subject – a gateway to harder drugs. I will state that every one of the people I’ve known who screwed their lives up with drugs (and I’m sorry to say I’ve known a number of them) had started out with marijuana. EVERY ONE. Also, pot smoking, like ALL smoking, is carcinogenic. The estimation is that one joint equals about three cigarettes in carcinogenic properties.

    Nevertheless, if pot has to be legalized, then I would very much want to see the large tobacco companies like Phillip Morris and others get into the trade. Such companies are well-placed to quickly dominate the business and put all the tie-dyed “Woodstock Nation” liberal-led head shop owners on the unemployment line. Smart hard-working conservative corporations – including the tobacco companies – are much more able to capitalize on an industry. I would never trust loser pot heads to run ANYTHING right.

    When big tobacco enter this industry, it will put the Lefties in a huge quandary, because while they love their grass, they HATE the tobacco companies, which they see as the so-called “establishment”, and they will never want to support them (If you think I’m wrong, just look at some of the amusing comments on this board!). That’s why for years we’ve been hearing from the liberals about all the ill effects of cigar and cigarette smoking, but very little if anything about the ill effects of pot smoking. We even get some totally absurd claims saying pot actually “cures” cancer!

    But that all will change once big tobacco gets into the legal pot trade (and if there is enough money in it, they WILL, as that is the nature of big business). Indeed, I would not at all be surprised to learn that big tobacco has already been secretly pushing to get pot legalized in Colorado and other states. After all, their business has been hit hard over the past decades by the anti-smoking crowd. It stands to reason that they will want to seek out new markets.
    Once big tobacco gets into the legal marijuana industry, liberals will be screaming to the high heavens that pot, like tobacco, is carcinogenic too, as well as a gateway to other drugs. And they will soon wind up fighting against their own beloved weed that they fought so hard for all these years. The reason for this, I believe, is because it’s not so much marijuana itself that the Lefties love. Rather, it’s the fact that they are doing something against the so-called establishment that makes it appealing to them. They get all the satisfaction that an unruly teenager gets when he defies Mommy and Daddy. That’s because the liberal mind at ANY age is stuck in an adolescent mode. The little one has to be defiant, he has to prove his independence. And what better way to do that then to use a drug that the conservative establishment frowns upon? That’s why these people who never grew up fight so hard for things like this which are actually bad for them.

    As the saying goes: What goes around, comes around. You’ll see what I mean in a few years.

    • Ted

      Let me rephrase you. Alcohol is the gateway drug. I wonder why so many people always skip this first one.

      • gene456

        Alcohol is a gateway to coke, meth, heroine, LSD? Hardly.

        • Matthew Derrick

          Gene456 we can easily assume has never tried a drug… Maybe never ever been to a party around the age of 21 When everyone wasted and peoples morals Dissapear and someone pulls out a bag of pot and some pain pills…… So never being around any of that and forming an opinion far from the outside, on the sidelines…. Is irrelevant… Your opinion is irrelevant!!

          • gene456

            And I take it that you think I should be envious of you? Guess again, lifelong loser.

          • Matthew Derrick

            Actually I was raised well and never was into the party thing. I did do my first drug before I even started drinking… Marijuana smoked for two years, not daily but often. I than had horrible back pain and was prescribed opiates. It was than i gave my ex a couple.. Finished the bottle after the normal time.. Than never got another script.. I remember the high i felt tho. I break up with my ex and 2 years later she comes back into my life with pills in hand i than became addicted to opiates and quickly heroin for 4 years.. 2 on pills 2 on heroin… It ruined My life and i still regret and cry about it at times today. Ive been clean a year and a half and never could ever think of going back. I left my girlfriend of 9 yesr .. 7 on 2 off… And today she is still doing heroin. Took me until last month to make up all the bills and money i owed.I start college on the 1st of the month.. Private college for medical assisting and will be a qualified phlebotomist as well.

          • gene456

            Either you’re bullshitting me, or else I rest my case.

          • crushinator27

            I think the point here is his perscription meds unfortunately were the gateway drug. he was direcrted by a doctor to do so. Meaning every story will be different. My brotjer has been a weed smoker since he was 15. He did shrooms twice…decided he didnt like anything more intense than weed. He is 27 with a degree and a job and doing fine. Saying weed is a gateway drug isn’t necessarily wrong just…pointless. Because it depends on the individual. Crawling is a gateway physical activity to football…and football players get concussions and torn ACLs. Don’t teach ypur kids and to crawl or else they may end up playing football and getting concussed or tearing an ACL. Slippery slope arguments are a logical fallacy…so not really a good way to make your case.

          • ed hollis

            The only loser here is you gene. Everyone here has something intelligent to say and your shuting people down calling them idiots and retards.

          • gene456

            Oh, yes! You the drug user are a winner, eh?
            ROTFLMAOAPIMP!!!!

        • Jeremy

          All drugs are considered gateway drugs. Cigarettes and Alcohol are both legal drugs. This has nothing to do with liberals and conservatives yet you are trying to turn this into a political debate. Just stfu already gene you don’t know half of what you are talking about and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if you were a senior citizen the way you keep talking about the establishment as if it is still the sixties. I bet you also hate gays, blacks, and mexicans huh?

          • gene456

            “This has nothing to do with liberals and conservatives yet you are trying to turn this into a political debate.”
            You are not going to find too many Republican conservatives in favor of legalized marijuana. A few, yes, but not many. And it certainly would never make it into the GOP platform. The one exception is loony-bird Ron Paul, who obviously attained the affections of all the druggies for that very reason.

            BTW, thanks for the stereotyping. I’m far younger than Bill Clinton. Would you call HIM a “senior citizen”?

          • Debbra VanDuser

            Not the point here at all but, yes Bill Clinton IS a senior citizen!

          • gene456

            Well, at least you’re honest.

        • vonnegut

          You can’t seriously be denying that alcohol is a gateway drug? It’s the most widely available and prominently accepted agent of escapism. It’s laughable that anyone that makes the argument that pot is the one thing that leads to other behaviors while completely ignoring the obvious. Also, who takes LSD anymore? Your heroine? I’m sure the billion dollar industry that is and will be legalized pot won’t be supported by an of your conservative ilk. And before you respond with some of your “liberal leftie” standards because I disagree with your fallacious argument, save your fingers the strain. Anyone picking either corner is a zombie.

        • Guest

          Hey when you see most homeless people, are they smoking pot or drinking alcohol? And when they drink alcohol do they not at all entertain the idea of going stronger? Or do they start moving on to crack cocaine or heroin? hmmm… And are we not going to mention people’s psychological predispositions to addiction or any background events in someone’s life that may cause them to use hard drugs? No? okay…. we’ll just settle for marijuana is a gateway drug…. these idiots won’t know the difference anyway. (a gateway drug is not a real thing humans have a natural curiosity to these kinds of intoxicants. Some worse than others, but you can’t prove at all that marijuana is a gateway drug more than alcohol is…. hell heroin’s a gateway drug if you switch from heroin to marijuana right? BTW heroine is a female hero not a drug dumdum.

        • Ted

          If you put it that way then cannabis is just as hardly the gateway drug you mention. I do agree that cannabis is closer to hard drugs than alcohol. But this is only because of one thing: the way you get a hand on it. You can buy alcohol in stores but you have to go on the streets and buy your cannabis. The guy that sells it has many more pockets with more kinds of ‘stuff’ and often they offer it too. Because the cannabis and hard drugs come from the same source, yes cannabis is more likely to get you into them. I have witnessed it myself that if you separate cannabis from the streets the ‘gateway’ vanishes.

          • gene456

            Where are the data to back this one up? Do you think you would never buy hamburgers from McDonalds if they did not also sell French fries? On the contrary, I think the opposite would occur, in that the drug dealers will always be there, and the emboldened pot-smoking kids will seek them out to try other drugs (e.g., coke, LSD) that a few years later you people will be telling us should be legalized as well. Yes, there ARE slippery slopes.

          • Guest

            Cocaine and LSD should be legalized isn’t that called freedom Mr. American Republican patriot? If you want to do heroin be my guest. They should all be legalized and taxed. That way they can be regulated as in there’s a designated area where you can do these drugs and stay for the duration of their effects, the government can tax them heavily and pay off some of our outrageous debts. That’s what we do with alcohol and cigarettes right? I mean prohibition worked out really well I guess. Major rise in organized crime, unregulated consumption, ordinary good citizens were turned into criminals only because they like to have a drink here and there and they have to resort to the underbelly of society to get a beer. Thats what making these things illegal does creates nothing but problems. You’re only giving the terrible druglord type people power when you make these things illegal. Quit being a scared little cooter.

          • gene456

            Cocaine, LSD, and heroin should be legalized? Yikes!
            What a freaking nut!

      • OZ

        geez this guy Jean456 is a duckspeak blowhard without an original idea in his head, in love with the sound of his voice. BTW isn’t tobacco the gateway drug of choice?

        • gene456

          Real nice name-calling, open-minded liberal. What’s the matter, pal? Can’t stand to hear another opinion?

          • OZ

            Opinions are like assholes. I hope you’re not offended I’ve turned down your offer to share yours. Seems to me you started off with the name calling. Just pointing out the obvious. Speaking of points, isn’t that one on top of your head? And BTW you know absolutely nothing of my politics. But from your tone you are clearly in agreement that ignorance is bliss.

          • gene456

            Where did I “start off” call anyone any names? I think you’ve smoked too much.
            Do I know your politics? No. But I’m probably making a close guess. And if you tell me you’re a Republican, 10 to 1 I’m bound to hear the name “Ron Paul”. Enough said on that one.

          • OZ

            Good lord, are you really so incoherent? Let me rephrase without the, ahem, one sided insults that pierce such delicate skin.
            jean456 appears to be parroting, without independent thought, and and at excessive self satisfying length, the opinions of another, probably a favorite media talking head, who has an IQ at least 2 standard deviations above jean’s.
            And guess what, chump. That talking head is laughing at you. He doesn’t believe what he says himself, and thinks those that do are sheep to be led around to whatever point generates the most advertising revenue.
            Do you have sex with sheep, jeanie? Or are you a virgin?

          • gene456

            I’ll bet you’re the coolest guy still living in his Mommy’s basement.

          • OZ

            lol. this from an individual who’s self image is dependent on anonymous internet posting, window shades drawn, pasty skin illuminated only by the blue glow of a computer screen, toneless flabby arms occasionally moving from keyboard to flap about ineffectually grasping for the potato chips on one side of the monitor or the 2l bottle of generic cola on the other.
            I realize you were socialized with a desperate need for attention, and I understand your lack of human companionship drives you flirt with anything that moves, but I find intelligence sexy, jeanie, so I am sorry, you really, truly, and with great emphasis, are not my type.
            Ta Ta. Enjoy your wallow. Oh, and stay away from Vegas.

          • Steve Goldschmidt

            Wow. That’s really fresh gene.

      • Augustine Alan Gatto

        I would have to argue that Caffeine is much more likely to be the first “Drug” any of us ever consumed.

        • gene456

          Damn those Starbucks drug dealers!!! LOL!

      • Matthew Derrick

        I love what u said Ted….. I will use that every time I hear about gateway drugs! Thank you

    • eberrywagner

      Oh, take a chill pill. Have a sense of humor, do you?

      • gene456

        Yes, I have a sense of humor. But not in this instance. I’m dead serious as to what I’m saying. TRUST ME, it will happen just as I’m saying. Take a look at some of the comments here if you don’t believe me.

        • eberrywagner

          LOL. Lighten up, dude.

          • gene456

            You too, sweetie.

    • Colin Williams

      Huh?

      • gene456

        Huh?

    • common sense

      you are dumb.

      • gene456

        Gee, what a brilliant retort. How many joints did you have to smoke it order to formulate that complex argument?

        • Jeremy

          “Gee, what a brilliant retort. How many joints’ did you have to smoke in order to reach that complex argument?” Don’t worry Gene I fixed your grammar for you even though I just smoked a bowl 20 minutes ago. Learn what you are talking about before you speak.

          • gene456

            You fixed it, eh? You mean the apostrophe? Hey moron, the word “joints” in that sentence is not a possessive! What a LOSER!!!

            Yeah, you sure fixed it! And you proved another point on top of it. Way to go!!!

            ROTFLMAO!!!!

          • TheMediaFairy

            He muffed the apostrophe, but also correctly changed ‘it’ to ‘in.’

    • Jennifer Jinx Hodson

      I agree that no one should drive under the influence. However, It’s been my experience that alcohol and tobacco are the gateway drugs, if there is such a thing. Most people I know started with alcohol and/or cigarrettes, not pot. My first drug was tobacco, then alcohol, then lsd, THEN POT. I have never done any other drugs. As of 1996, I don’t drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or do any “other” drugs besides the occassional joint.

      Making blanket statments, is quite arrogant, in my opinion.

      • gene456

        I did not say, mind you, that anyone who uses pot will go to hard drugs. But I have never seen a hard drug user who did not start with pot. On the other hand, I’ve known several hard drug users who did not smoke cigarettes, and even a couple who did not drink very much.

        • Jennifer Jinx Hodson

          See, there are many people with many different experiences. Not everyone starts with one specific drug, they use what appeals to them. Like I said, I ended with pot, not started.

          Very much, doesn’t count. ;)

          • gene456

            Good for you for stopping. Unfortunately, I know too many who did not. They began with it, liked it, and started venturing out to other things, thinking that they could control it. They could not. Many of them died young – some tragically. Others are alive but are not half the persons they could have been. It is so sad.

            But they all had one thing in common: They all started with pot. That’s the truth.

          • Jennifer Jinx Hodson

            Thank you. I just was never interested in anything else, once I found pot, that’s all I needed. I too have seen so many friends die from drug abuse, it is sad. Very sad. Your group started with pot, my group started with alcohol, I guess it takes all kinds, and that’s my point. There’s so many people in this world and so many different experiences, to propose that everyone’s life experiences are the same is just … wrong.

            I hope everyone finds peace and happiness.

    • shorey

      Abril uno, is april first, so april fools!

    • vonnegut

      I’ll bet you’re a hoot at parties. There’s nothing that people like better than know-it-alls that throw around hyperbolic, name-calling rhetoric. Keep regurgitating what you’ve been spoon fed.

      • gene456

        I guess you’ve got me there – I wasn’t much fun at drug parties. But if you think I envy you, you’re dead wrong.

        • vonnegut

          Well, you’ve certainly grasped the meaning of my comment. What’s a “drug party” anyway?

          • gene456

            I suppose to a person of your ilk there is no distinction, in that all parties you attend involve drugs. But believe it or not, there are people who have parties that are void of them.

          • vonnegut

            Wow. Well, that’s pretty presumptuous. My initial statement is intact: I’ll bet you’re a really awful person to be around. Drugs or no, I’m eternally grateful I’ll never have to attend a party with anyone of your “ilk”. Though I doubt you receive many invitations. Your high horse might…

          • Dan

            to have to go to party’s that are NOT sober…is sad in itself…enjoy your life without additives

          • vonnegut

            People like you are worse than vegans.

    • Logan Pinkerton

      Gene456, you’ve got problems man. You’ve attempted to come off highly intelligent here and ‘holier than thou’ but your ramblings contain so many ignorant, close-minded statements. What the hell do you have against people for living their lifestyles certain ways? Throughout your ramblings you made many ignorant, angry statements such as this ” I would never trust loser pot heads to run ANYTHING right”. Go back to the cave you crawled out of, bro. You try to seem intelligent but analyzing the stupidity and bitterness of your writing here, you sir are a fool. It is a good thing that we live in a country where we have freedom and respect for other people’s beliefs and don’t just trample them for no reason; oh wait, there are still people like Gene456 around. Never mind.

      • gene456

        LOL! You’re a drug user and you tell ME that I have problems. I LOVE IT!!!

        What the hell do I have against people for living their lifestyles certain ways? You mean drugged out and drunk drivers are OK? Should I keep my mouth shut about a physician on drugs ready to cut a guy a open? How about an airplane pilot on coke? How about child molesters? Are their “lifestyles” OK?
        It is a good thing that most of us (but not all, unfortunately) are still in favor of locking you people up.

        • ed hollis

          Gene just shut up. Go try it for yourself and mabye youll open your eyes a little bit

          • gene456

            Open my eyes to WHAT?? To the supposed “virtues” of DRUG USE?? You’re kidding me, right?

            No thanks. I’ve already tried it. And that’s why I speak as I do. Been there, done that, as they say. I now know better. Thank God for that.

        • Really??

          Think before you speak. Might make you seem more intelligent ;)

          All your ramblings are very discriminatory, Marijuana is not a drug, it’s a natural growing herb. All these other drugs you speak of aren’t exactly natural. Yes they come from plants, but you have to do different processes to produce the drug from the plant material. Marijuana is different, you just pick it off and enjoy!

          Regardless of what you say, you take drugs everyday. Doesn’t matter if you don’t recognize it. So who are you to say what drugs are good or bad? or what should be called a bad drug?

          • gene456

            “Marijuana is not a drug, it’s a natural growing herb.”
            - So is opium, idiot! What does THAT prove?

            “You just pick it off and enjoy!”
            - Try the same with wild mushrooms or tomato leaves. Tell me what happens.

            What a freaking RETARD!!!

          • Dan

            read your post outloud…if you sound like a child…its because you are one.

    • ‘Mikee Edwards

      Sorry Gene, but you are mis-informed. NO CARCINOGENS IN CANNABIS EVER! IT CURES CANCER (about 200 varieties so far). And the British AND other european studies have shown stoned drivers to be safer and slower than their sober counterparts. Please read and post facts, as opinions like this just make you look ignorant and uninformed….

      • gene456

        Like I said to your friend, give me all the reputable evidence that says marijuana “cures” cancer.

      • gene456

        So should we close Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and just give all the patients a joint? Please advise.

        • Really??

          You are just another poor soul who can’t think for themselves.

      • Really??

        Sorry Mikee, Marijuana does contain carcinogens, as well as ANYTHING that burns. The smoke contains carbon monoxide just like most any smoke. Ingesting it rather than smoking it is a good way to cut down on the carcinogens. It’s still a plant.

        Marijuana also does NOT in ANYWAY cure cancer. It can help treat it without having to introduce your body to harmful radiation therapy.

        • ‘Mikee Edwards

          Sorry again, Gene, but are you familiar with vaporization, medibles and oils/ extracts? BURNING cannabis produces carcinogens, INGESTING cannabis does not. It stops the cellular reproduction in faulty cells (cancer), while enhancing healthy cell resistance to cancer. Sounds like a cure to me….

    • Matthew Derrick

      Actually the marijuana being worse to smoke than cigs is false… I smoked weed for two years I hate it now.. Makes my fibromyalgia flare so bad. Does not help pain for me increases it. I can agree with the driving I used to sit at stop signs like they were stop lights…but i believe in medicinal marijuana and it shoukd be eaten not smoked. It cures some cancers

      • gene456

        Give me all the reputable evidence that says marijuana “cures” cancer.

        • Matthew Derrick

          With an open mind do some research. If you are truly interested. And you may have a loved one someday that is very ill and u can save them. Not by smoking by investing the marijuana. I highly believe in holistic medication. Pharmaceutical companies are making so much money on some poisons. 5 months ago I had near liver failure… 677 was my ALT.. Liver enzyme function AST was 688… Both those are supposed to be 0-40. End stage hep c patients in liver failure is 400′s.. I use 15 holistic plants/herbs pure extracts. 2 months later (I have dated labs to prove all this) im at 34 ALT and 48 AST…. Now I Also just got a ggt test which Is 145. Supposed to be 20-70. Its also q in depth liver test… But im headed in the right direction…. Bad thing is now from this i have fibromyalgia….. (NOTE: I do not drink nor do drugs EVER.. Drug free for 1.5 years) so the liver failure was from using creatine and doing intense workouts on an already healing liver from heroin abuse 1.5 years prior .. Anyways im stuck to with horrid fibromyalgia rest of my life now and I refuse to take opiates… Im in pain head to toe. Non narcotic muscle relaxers and Benzos (valium or xanax,) is what im prescribed and how I can function

          • gene456

            I’m very sorry to hear this, but I’m hard-pressed to believe your doctors told you marijuana is the solution.

          • Dan

            As a drug counselor that has studied much more that a munch of numbers…but evidence and effects…marijuana is more harmful than helpful

          • gene456

            THANK YOU!!!! I’m glad to see that someone speaks the truth here.

          • Really??

            How is it harmful Mr. Counselor?

          • vonnegut

            Yes, you’ve studied the world of addiction and casual use of marijuana as a drug. Let’s now hear you expound on your experience in clinical testing of cannabinoids to treat cancers, alzheimer’s, and epilepsy. The stigma of marijuana use as a drug has overshadowed the myriad uses it has beyond that.

      • Really??

        Topical creams are better for fibro patients. But, still, everyone is different.

        • Matthew Derrick

          What type of topical creams? Mj cream? Im open to all suggestions… I live in Nevada so im eligible for medical Mj card just like i said smoking it makes me go into extreme pain.. Even more. Than i am now… Im open to try anything

          • Really??

            Yes Marijuana Creams. You would want one derived from an Indica plant. It has more CBC/CBD that would be beneficial for you. The roots are good to use to make creams that are high in CBD, and they also do not contain any THC so you wouldn’t get any “high.” Just medicated.

    • Andrew

      And every one of my friends that has smoke marijuana would never dream of doing anything harder. So I guess we balance out that whole statistic, don’t we? The reason why people blame marijuana for leading to harder drugs is obvious; marijuana is the easiest illegal drug to get into. That is, of course people that do heroin started out with marijuana; not because there’s any causality but because you can find some pot within five minutes if you really wanted some. It’s a false assumption to think there’s any correlation.

      And by “smart, hard-working” you mean, “deceitful, manipulative” .. which is very true, to an extent. Manipulating people into buying your product by putting addictive properties into your products is super smart … it’s just a bullshit move. And I think you misjudge how many people actually smoke pot. I can guarantee you that people smoke pot in every profession; from doctors to lawyers to CEOs to … everything. Ben & Jerry’s is an immensely successful ice cream business run by two pot-smoking hippies.

      And way more than “lefties” smoke pot. Are you .. kidding me? You think smoking marijuana only occurs on the liberal side of things? Are you .. dumb? Or just ignorant? Because I can happily tell you that people smoke pot on both left AND right. Maybe a fourteen year old smoking pot does it because it’s “cool” .. but the businessman who might smoke a joint at night to calm his nerves after a stressful day at the office? He’s not doing it to buck authority. C’mon now. You HAVE to be smarter than that.

      And just so you know: a lot of people smoke cigarettes. Tobacco cigarettes. In fact, I know this might be hard to believe, but LIBERALS smoke cigarettes! It’s TRUE! I live in Connecticut … one of the most liberal states out there. Every one of my friends are left-wing liberal hippies. And guess what? Now keep it a secret: all of them smoke. I know! It’s CRAZY.

      I think you need to calm down on the rhetoric. I’m not sure what mental image you have in your head of what “liberals” are .. but it’s obviously wrong. My friends work in real estate, lawyer firms, security, and every service industry you can imagine. Myself, I work IT for a university. But guess what? We drink alcohol on the weekend. We smoke cigarettes. And yes, on occasion, some pot, too! We watch television (everything from Walking Dead to Game of Thrones to Duck Dynasty to Hoarders); we eat food (like red meat and potatoes!). It’s almost like .. like .. we’re JUST LIKE YOU. Oh my god. You might need to sit down, I know! It’s a lot to take in!

      • gene456

        “And every one of my friends that has smoke marijuana would never dream of doing anything harder.”
        - Sorry, I just don’t believe that. And I seriously doubt you do, either.
        “That is, of course people that do heroin started out with marijuana; not because there’s any causality but because you can find some pot within five minutes if you really wanted some. It’s a false assumption to think there’s any correlation.”
        - BULLSHIT!!!!

        “I can guarantee you that people smoke pot in every profession; from doctors to lawyers to CEOs to … everything.”
        - Really? List them all.
        “Ben & Jerry’s is an immensely successful ice cream business run by two pot-smoking hippies.”
        - Oh, COME ON!!!! Everyone knows about those two burn-outs. They were just lucky. Most CEOs, however, would be fired if they did the same.

        “but the businessman who might smoke a joint at night to calm his nerves after a stressful day at the office?”
        - And how many such people are there? Again, list them all. That’s just a figment of your imagination.

        “LIBERALS smoke cigarettes!”
        - When did I say they didn’t? But the attacks on the tobacco companies come from the left, not the right.
        “It’s almost like .. like .. we’re JUST LIKE YOU.”
        - Not a chance. If and when you become a parent, you might then understand. And if you already are a parent, you’re a garbage pail.

        • Really??

          Majority of presidents smoked Marijuana. Did they all get lucky also? What about Benjamin Franklin? He invented many many things you still use today. Was he just lucky? No, he was a very intelligent highly regarded individual in society and is still held in high regards for all his tremendous achievements.

          I’d like to see some of your “highly” credible information in regards to the “evils” of “pot.”

          • gene456

            “Majority of presidents smoked Marijuana.”
            - WHAT???? WHERE in the hell did you get THAT one?

            “What about Benjamin Franklin?”
            - What ABOUT him?

          • Really??

            It was in a research article I read years ago. And Benjamin Franklin favored hemp for it’s wide range of uses.

            I don’t have the time right now to find said article, but washington times has had some articles talking about that topic. Not very scholarly but, it’s news.

            Think outside the box. :)

          • gene456

            Sorry, but that’s too vague.

          • gene456

            You don’t have the time, eh? Yeah, right.

            I never heard that before. Without a reference, I’d say it could very well be just something you dreamed up while smoking some great weed.

        • Jackie Horan

          This is just complete and utter ignorance. I don’t smoke pot at all, purely because I don’t want to. I do, however, know a few very responsible and successful business owners who smoke pot frequently. Pot has never negatively impacted their lives. To believe that everyone who smokes pot is a good for nothing hippie is narrow minded, judgmental, and just plain stupid.

          • gene456

            Good for them. Unfortunately, I know a lot more people who also started out smoking pot frequently, thinking it was harmless, and later on wound up fcuking their lives up forever with harder drugs. None of them became “successful business owners”. So which side should we err on?

          • Guest

            The side where you only speak about a handful of people who ever smoked pot in the history of a world that has a current population of about 7.5 billion

          • gene456

            Only a handful? I see. Then I guess all those millions of drug addicts are just a figment of our imaginations, huh?

            Smoke another one. You’re still able to write a coherent sentence, even though it makes absolutely no sense.

        • ccyankee

          You’re obviously not a CEO, successful professional or know many business owners… alcohol abuse & drug use are very common among those with high stress positions. Educated, experienced drug counselors know this.

          • gene456

            Oh, and you ARE a CEO? Of what? Tell me, how often do you use drugs?

            And wow, have YOU switched gears! First you say that you can GUARANTEE that CEOs smoke pot like it’s a good thing. But THEN you call it “alcohol abuse & drug use” to deal with stress. That sounds a lot less positive.

          • ccyankee

            I’m simply trying to deal with factual information & my own professional experience and observations. My husband & I have been successful business owners for 14 years, the first 10 of which I also spent as a high school honors teacher & counselor. Through our chamber of commerce, we deal extensively with other owners & CEOs. I find it funny you think I use drugs because I’m teetoltaler, I don’t even enjoy the taste of alcohol! :-) The only reason I responded to your posting is that you indicated you’re a drug counselor… which is odd because your expressed perception of teen drug use is outdated (the issues overwhelmingly are: beer,pills (xanax, hydrocodone/oxycodone & adderall), synthetic pot/”spice” & pot.) Rarely is it harder drugs like coke or pcp. I hope your strong opinions don’t prevent young people from coming to you to confide & seeking help. My concern prompted my reply. It takes no great effort to say you’re against drug abuse…who Isn’t? But your judgemental position is counter to best practices published by accredited professional counseling organizations.

          • gene456

            Practically any CEO of a Fortune 500 or even a considerably smaller corporation (I’ll exclude the wacked out Ben & Jerry) who proudly announces to the whole world that he/she uses marijuana (legal or not) or any other drug could expect the BOD to fire him/her within 24 hours. No WAY would stockholders ever tolerate such a situation. CEOs may be able to get away with saying they have a drink or two, but even on that one, they would have to tread very carefully. They are, after all, running organizations worth billions of dollars. Stockholders are not about to let some fuzzy-minded “head” steer such a ship.
            I never said that I find it funny you use drugs, and I am not a drug counselor. I think you are confusing me with someone else.
            “It takes no great effort to say you’re against drug abuse…who Isn’t?”
            - Well, for starters, THESE people are not! Take a look at the comments on this board. Most of these burn-outs are by no means against drug use. Indeed, these people advocate it, and even think it has miracle properties like the ability to cure cancer. Please open your eyes!

      • Mark Burnside

        Preach it!!! Brother from another thank you!!!

        • Mark Burnside

          Seem like gene456 likes to debate there’s a good and a bad there’s ying and a yang to everything it only matters which out weigh the other in the case of pot there are a lot more good than bad that’s a fact I have not seen a cancer patient from use of pot or have I seen a hard drug user cause of pot it’s simply choice and blaming pot for someone free will choice is just a scapegoat

    • James

      Gene456, the folks that you know that screwed up their lives also had
      one more thing in common – they all knew you. EVERY ONE. Should we blame you instead?

    • Harold Balding

      “… I would never trust loser pot heads to run ANYTHING right.” If you opened your eyes to the truth you’d probably overload and go into a coma!

    • Really??

      Everything you say is just pulled from all the anti-marijuana propaganda. Your remarks are very discriminatory. You wouldn’t believe the number of successful “stoners” world wide. Marijuana is not a gateway drug, other than the fact you have to buy it from dealers, said dealers are probably selling all the hard stuff also. Meaning, “stoners” are more likely to come across hard drugs than someone who doesn’t buy marijuana. Not that because they smoke Marijuana they want to go shoot heroin. It’s uneducated people like you who can’t open their minds to think outside the norm who ruin the world.

      Do you have any objections to pharmaceutical companies throwing HIGHLY addictive narcotics to society? Why hate on Marijuana, a non-addictive, natural medical herb that can soothe most ailments. You don’t have to smoke it, there are topical creams. Some even made from the roots, which contains absolutely NO THC/THCA, only the other cannabinoids that are responsible for slowing and even stopping the progression of diseases such as cancer. It’s a medicine, stop thinking everyone who smokes marijuana is a hippy. And put down the “Reefer Madness” propaganda film.

      I don’t know what article you have read about driving under the influence of Marijuana, but I have books stating the opposite. The research subjects were actually much more focused, and better drivers under the influence. I’m not saying everyone is, but that is really more of what type of person we’re talking about. Irresponsible people will be more likely to have an accident under the influence because they are irresponsible in the first place! I honestly drive slower if I had smoked shortly before driving. I don’t condone everyone to do it, only those who are truly responsible. It’s still a DUI either way.

      And a “stoner” would honestly do better with the cultivation of Marijuana on a large scale. “IF” big tobacco companies become manufacturers, I bet they’re growers would be “stoners.” And besides, cultivating Marijuana is a LOT more work than tobacco. I don’t see any corporations jumping into the business until other companies manufacture equipment to make the cultivation process’ simpler.

      • Dan

        Im a drug counselor…and have study pharmacology of addiction/marijuana…. so all you that have NOT gone to school for this stuff…should probably not say anything…and if you get HIGH…you should definitely not say anything…because you are not sober…nor are you able to think clearly. Stop commenting on posts if you USE DRUGS

        • Really??

          I don’t believe you are a drug counselor just from the fact you are putting down those who use “drugs.” I am sober, and am highly informed when it comes to Marijuana and several other class I drugs, probably more so than you. I do the research from highly credible sources. I don’t believe just anything, I believe what research says and what I’ve seen.

        • Guest

          Don’t you think as a drug counselor, it should be important to familiarize yourself with the drugs you counsel people on? Or do you just like telling people your better than them and they don’t understand their addiction, even though you have no experience with addiction. Except what you claim to have read out of a book, of course, which we’ll all call bullshit on
          I’m a free thinking person…..and have study of your inexperienced moronic bullshit

    • ccyankee

      Let’s be honest, BEER is the most common, first gateway drug. Most kids try alcohol before they get to pot. Also, a substantial number of kids wouldn’t have access to harder drugs if they weren’t buying pot from drug dealers. Not saying that drug abuse ok, but we undermine efforts to help steer young people in the right direction when we fail to use logic & acknowledge reality & the truth.

      • gene456

        “BEER is the most common, first gateway drug.”
        - Agreed. But only to other liquors, not to hard drugs. Pot is
        almost always the precursor to those.
        “Most kids try alcohol before they get to pot.”
        - Hmmm, I’m not entirely sure about that one.
        “Also, a substantial number of kids wouldn’t have access to harder drugs if they weren’t buying pot from drug dealers”
        - I’ve been hearing this one a lot lately, and the logic of it completely escapes me. Where are the data to back this one up? Do you think you would never buy hamburgers from McDonalds if they did not also sell French fries? On the contrary, I think the opposite would occur, in that the drug dealers will always be there, and the emboldened pot-smoking kids will seek them out to try other drugs (e.g., coke, LSD) that a few years later you people will be telling us should be legalized as well. Yes, there ARE slippery slopes.
        “We undermine efforts to help steer young people in the right direction when we fail to use logic & acknowledge reality & the truth.”
        - For the life of me, I can’t see how we are going to steer kids away from drug use by telling them that it’s OK once they turn 21.
        .

    • Hristo Gavrilov

      Any drug is gateway drug. It’s not the type of drug, it’s crossing the established moral boundary. Since your earliest memories you’ve always been taught that drugs are bad. By taking drugs you are going against everything you were taught, you know you are doing something very wrong. Once you have made that step, you are more likely to go in further. Same applies to drinking at young age.

      • gene456

        Any drug is a gateway drug, eh? So penicillin is a gateway drug? To what?

        But I agree with you about the moral boundary point you made, and that is what I believe the true appeal is in marijuana. Once it becomes a large business as the big tobacco firms are bound to make it, you’ll see that appeal wear off sharply. Then the childish, screaming left will be fighting it tooth and nail, saying it’s carcinogenic. Mark my words.

  • Tara Desrosiers

    love the part where it says they have been contacting former drug lords lolololol!!! how can anyone think this is for real?

  • caw1957

    Joke or not this is comical and I am sure it has been discussed because of the shaming of smokers. LOL

    • krs59

      if that was to happen it would b as bad as a cigarette with all the chemicals they use now

      • caw1957

        Yes it would be.

  • Mark

    there are two guys driving home from a party, one a drunk, one a pot head. the drunk comes upon a stop sign and he will inevitably blow right through it and not even realize it. The pot head will see the sign, stop and quietly sit and wait for it to turn green…..

    • Victoria Gutshall

      The first time I saw that, in a facebook post, I about died laughing because I’ve actually done that!

  • Augustine Alan Gatto

    I would not buy anything but home grown nugs.

    I would not trust this company to offer my weed, at all.

  • kbmiller

    I don’t smoke weed. But even the mention of the big companies taking over the sell of pot is scary. They are always looking at the bottom line. Not organically grown. But I guess a lot of indoor weed growers are not organically grown either. SO?

    • Really??

      The difference between organic and non-organic when it comes to growing this sweet smelly herb is probably WAY different than what you think it is. It’s more about the growers experience that makes the quality. But I agree with not wanting to buy from them, it’ll probably be mis-named strains.

  • Jerry Kagemusha Guo

    come for the news, stay for the comments .

  • Dale Nickel

    It had me going for a moment, but then it just got funny.

  • navasaur

    Tags: fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire,spoof

  • Sidea

    I’m more worried about what else is mixed in with the weed. If it were pure, natural weed I might think this was okay. But since cigarettes have loads of stuff other than tobacco in them, I’m willing to bet there is also tar and other crap in these.

    • Nezzy KnowZzZ

      i agree

    • voiceofreason51

      There is already lots of tar in marijuana and other carcinogens.

      • ‘Mikee Edwards

        Lots of tar, but NO carcinogens. Cannabis CURES cancer..Please read before you post….

        • gene456

          WHERE is the evidence for that outrageous assertion?

          • Birther 2.0

            Google is this new thing on the internets. You should try it out.

          • gene456

            What will I get? Some article from “High Times”? Just present the evidence yourself!

        • nick

          cannabis “helps” to cure cancer and unfortunately not so much if its smoked the best wayy to use weed for medicinal purposes is to drink it in tea form or bake it into brownies weed is good for you….smoke is not

        • Really??

          Marijuana DOES in fact have carcinogens. Think about it, it’s burning plant matter. Yes it contains a huge variety of CBC, but smoke is still smoke and harmful. Eating it is nutritious though.

        • Kymee Myers

          it does NOT cure cancer. It help make the terminally ill patients more comfortable with less pain… please READ before you post.

        • voiceofreason51

          First of all, marijuana is LOADED with carcinogens and if it really did cure cancer, this would be a top headline on the REAL news on a daily basis. YOU are the one who needs to read before you post idiotic comments. What is your news source, High Times magazine?

  • Jennifer Jinx Hodson

    Lol obviously, this is a joke, but I will say….. I wouldn’t buy from phillip morris; I’m sure they will be adding something non necessary to the product. I don’t trust them.
    More power to small business owners than greedy conglomerates!

    • Nezzy KnowZzZ

      amen

  • http://www.purplecloudzlifestyle.com/ Mz. 420

    I’ll grow my own.

  • Elli Sharpe

    contacting former drug lords????? They’re high alright. Soooo I guess we can look forward to getting cigarettes enhanced with Heaven knows what just like our food. I’ll grow my own when it becomes legal….sorry….won’t contribute to the income of drug lords

    • Bananaville

      You don’t get sarcasm, do you?

  • one4All

    I ma not sure if it is true – But I had read that Phillip Morris had years ago copyrighted the name ‘Marleys’ for Marijuana Cigarettes

  • Dan

    I don’t know what to say…I just read most of the posts and…well…it is sad.

    Big picture…if you have to put something in your body to feel good….you are not happy.

    I am a drug counselor and have not seen one person that lives a life of pure integrity, honesty, high moral fiber, and self respect…that geniuinley loves all of man kind…that does any drug…that smokes weed, that puts stuff in from the outside and rationalizes it to make themselves feel better.

    If you cannot be ok on the inside…without things on the outside… that is sad.

    I mean this with all my heart. I pray right now that everyone in these arguments can find fulfillment from the inside…which can ONLY come from a relationship with the creator….you have a father in heaven that gave you a spirit…if you can tap into that…and LIVE SOBER…and really LIVE….you will not need all that feel good worldly junk. I love ya all…especially the ones that are saying what I used to say and rationalizing bad behavior or using weed…

    You can respond if you want…but I would rather you use your thinking to not think of a clever response to me…but to use that energy on inventorying your life…

    • LesleyVivien

      Have you actually read the title – Abril Uno?
      Or the tags that say spoof?
      If you’re a drug counsellor, you need to look for clues. I think you’ve missed a couple of good ones.

    • Brittany Zeller

      You know, not everyone who smokes marijuana is a bad person, or abuses it and/or other drugs. Some people take it for medical purposes, such as fibromyalgia relief. Might I ask why they prescribe it legally to patients who have prolonged, and sometimes excruciating pain? Because it relieves the symptoms for a few days at a time. I’m neutral in the argument of whether or not it should be legalized, because I have friends on both sides. But let me ask you something before I am labeled as a hippie child. When was the last time you heard a story of a person who smoked weed and say killed a few or a lot of people, or hurt them and took their money? I have yet to hear one, because usually they are mentally incompetent, or, under the influence of a much harder drug to satisfy their habit.

    • Larry Torres

      I WISH I COULD ASK YOU TO STOP TAKING ,,I WILL NOT INFRINGE ON YOUR 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHTS ,, BUT WATCH YORSELF FOR INFINNG ON OTHER PEOPLES DECISIONS ,,ECAUSEI DON”T CARE IF YOUR CORN HOLING THE DEVIL HIMSELF ,,THANK YOU,,now stay away from US!!! BEATER

      • Guest

        What does any of this mean?

    • Eli Lemberg

      Okay,..If one truly is a believer that god is the father of creation, responsible for all things, means you must face a few realities. 1. God created the world, and using the dust of the earth, created mankind in all its complexity. 2. God also created all other living things which inhabit this planet, animals, fungi and plants alike. 3. Given realities 1 and 2, that means god created Cannabis fully aware of the effect ingesting/ smoking the plant would have on the complex physiology of the human brain…which he created. That means God created weed specifically for human consumption, and it was part of the plan all along. If you followed my logic game, bravo! Kids, the moral of the story is if you want to live with faith in god, good for you, but closely read the scriptures for yourself. Picking and choosing which rules to follow, and blindly following others interpretations leads only to hatred, injustice and low self esteem.

    • Cindy

      Understand this is a spoof, and I am not a user of any substance but your statement is a little troubling; “If you cannot be ok on the inside…without things on the outside… that is sad.”

      Anxiety. Depression. Bipolar Disorder. Schizophrenia. I can go out but I won’t. All disorders which require “something on the outside” to make a person feel “ok” and in many cases give them a reason to go on living. As a drug counselor I would assume you took some sort of Intro to Psychology courses. You may want to dust of your old text books and have a read before making such broad statements like that.

      • John Masters

        WHY DON’T WE JUST OUT IT TO A PUBLIC VOTE TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC AND SEE???

    • Johnny Slick

      Your false hope in god is equal. You live your life a specific way being promise Paradise after death, but can’t you just realize that you’re going to die and rot in the ground and won’t even know your dead? Or can you not be satisfied inside with out knowing there is a god? Get real religion is the worst dug ever, because everyone this it’s OK to use. Well let me tell you because of religion, we can’t study certain things in science because it’s considered playing god. You are the god of your own life, throw away the safety blanket and live my friend. BTW, you can do that drug free and if you know it’s wrong to do something, you should just know GOD shouldn’t have to tell you that..

    • Amber Strickler

      I mean this with all my heart; I see you using your energy to pass pre-judgement and give advice to people you have never met based on your own life experiences. The wise aren’t compelled to behave in this way. It’s clear that you need to be heard to feel ok and that you need to give advice to feel right about your own life. Your convictions are strong and you seem to sincerely get purpose and meaning from your beliefs and practices. But what is going on with you that you feel compelled to direct your energy in this way in response to a spoof news article? The only people who are going to be open to your message are those who already 100% agree with you and speak in the way you do. If you really want to help people, you can’t anonymously and proudly talk at them. Jesus is not down with this. It seems that being a counselor has clouded your view of humanity and your place in it. In real world interactions connection and humility are crucial for any kind of positive change. We can’t walk up to people, let alone anonymously write to them on the internet, telling them what they should do, stop doing, what to believe, what is meaningful, etc. You may not see this because of your artificial elevated position to speak into others lives as a counselor, but the way you are behaving is not ok and you may need help to pull out of this very destructive pattern of relating.

    • Ann

      I never, never reply but I’m very sorry sir, you are incorrect, You obviously don’t have a chronic pain condition. Some of us use because it’s the ONLY medicine that helps with pain and nerve damage. It’s not about getting high for some of us, it’s an absolutely necessary if you want to participate in life at all. I am one of Gods children and faithfully read and study my bible everyday, he was the creator of the medicine I need not Pharma. Without the drug, I CAN’T even get out of bed, or I start puking from PAIN! So just to be able to LIVE some, the drug helps greatly and I have been on every legal pain killer you can name. Don’t put every user in the same boat!!! How dare you say we all need to live clean, I smoke (wish I knew a better way to take it) but I feel I live a clean life, it just medicine to me and many others like me with severe medical conditions. Try on a 2 and a half inch hole in your spinal cord with millions of nerves damaged, plus everything else I suffer from and see if you don’t change your mind! If you were to really really walk in my shoes, you’d have never posted that. Put on a real disability and say that!!!!!After you puke everyday for two years and MJ is the only thing that has helped, get some compassion for us who really need it please!
      who do it just for fun! OK, nuf said!

    • Guest

      Right back at you. Jesus is your crutch. If you can’t feel good without Jesus… that is sad. I live with a person who is very active in the religious community, graduated from christian college, and works at her church. She scared out of her mind because she enjoys smoking weed and having a drink from time to time and her “CHURCH FAMILY” would happily disown her if they knew because they are NOT open minded and NOT accepting. They do now follow Jesus’ teachings at all.

      “If you cannot be ok on the inside…without things on the outside… that is sad.” Okay I’ll stop eating food then. I don’t need it to be okay on the inside because it’s on the outside.

  • Ashley Patterson

    read the tags at the bottom guys “fake news”

    • Anon

      The website is named after April fools

  • Jon C. McGahan

    The funny thing is… back in the late 1970′s, Both Philip Morris AND R.J. Reynolds were making plans to sell this product. At the time RJR had supposedly trademarked “Panama Red”, and PM had “Acapulco Gold”.

    • Whizz Kidd

      That is also false. That was the rumor that started it. And because of Colorado, the rumor got started back up again.

  • Wade Johnson

    I of them comment on this subject, even though I’m nit a smoker…not of Marijuana or of Cigaretts either!! Yes yes yes,,, I have tried both, however it had been many years ago back in the 80′s when I was…yep..a teenager!!! But then who didn’t back then any way!!! I had for many years heard how much Cancer patients could benefit from smoking marijuana, but was a bit sceptical that is UNTIL my father in law was diagnosed with lung cancer. I saw this larger than life person go from a very outgoing man to all but nothing p, and in a VERY VERY SHORT TIME!!! He was constantly vomiting, couldn’t keep down food when he did wanna eat!! So one day I called an old friend of mine and told him I needed some help with a little experiment for my ill father in law!! He ask what I needed and I told him I wanted some of THE BEST WEED he could get me and I needed it ASAP!!! He told me to hold on a sec walked to his room and came back with a nice bag of what must have been that CHRONIC!!! Cause he said that stuff was very costly!! I went to pay him for it but he refused to accept any $$$$$ for it, he told me that since it was for my wife’s daddy it was on him just let him know if it helped him, and if it did..that he would keep him stocked until he no longer needed it!! So that very night my wife and I was over at his house he was so sick.. So I pulled out this bag of marijuana and some rolling papers and I rolled him a joint..the best I could any ways!! He was a little hesitant at first but he did take three good hits off of it and before we knew it he was up making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!! Playing his guitar and singing, which he hadn’t done in months!! So needless to say it worked, he even put back on some weight before the cancer finally took him four months later..so yeah this stuff should most definately be available for sick people because unlike so many drugs today..this one really does work!!

  • Jean Caudle

    What the hell, contact drug lords in Mexico and Paraguay. Keep it in the US , it doesnt take that long to grow and it would mean jobs for Americans. Just another american company selling us out to foreigners. GREED !!!!!!!!!!!

    • Alan Hall

      Tags: fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire,spoof

  • Guest

    Jesus jump in’ up and down, I no longer have hope for this world. The ignorance displayed in the comments is proof that we are doomed. I only hope my demise is a result of my own actions rather than those of the idiots I encounter far too many times a day.

    Our spaghetti
    Who art in the colander
    Hallowed be thy sauce
    Thy serving come
    Thy strands be wrung
    On forks as they are on spoons
    Give us this day our daily meatball
    And forgive us our starchiness
    As we forgive those who are starchy against us
    And lead us not into Kraft parmessan
    But deliver us from Chef Boy Ardee
    For thine is the garlic
    And the onion and the bay leaves
    For ever and ever.
    Ramen

  • Guest

    sus jump in’ up and down, I no longer have hope for this world. The ignorance displayed in the comments is proof that we are doomed. I only hope my demise is a result of my own actions rather than those of the idiots I encounter far too many times a day.

    Our spaghetti
    Who art in the colander
    Hallowed be thy sauce
    Thy serving come
    Thy strands be wrung
    On forks as they are on spoons
    Give us this day our daily meatball
    And forgive us our starchiness
    As we forgive those who are starchy against us
    And lead us not into Kraft parmesan
    But deliver us from Chef Boy Ardee
    For thine is the garlic
    And the onion and the bay leaves
    Forever and ever.
    Ramen

  • Brown Sugar

    If this is real, I would love it , but keep it in America .

  • Mike Gilley

    I work at phillip morris and this is not at all true.

    • unknown

      I also work in Philip Morris, and I totally agree with you – Not True. This article just wants to make negative publicity for the company. So rude.

      • Cecilia Sabas Weber

        actually NO … this site is like the onion … satire and comedy …
        If one can’t take humor for what it is, one should stop browsing the web

        • Brittany Jackson

          Che, hay gringos que hablan español también.

    • Anna Sefalik

      This is satire–but sooner or later, it will happen. Once marijuana is legalized for general use, like tobacco is, all the tobacco companies will be on board. It would be economically stupid not to.

  • Samuel Pump

    This NEEDS to come to Cali

  • Elijah Coleman

    Tags: fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire,spoof

  • unknown

    This is not true, people! C’mon! Look at the tags – FAKE NEWS. The company won’t do such things like this.

    • Anna Sefalik

      …not yet, but someday.

  • Sarahcate

    WHY CAN’T THIS BE REAL UGH I WAS SO EXCITED.

  • Montecristo River Lodge

    Still a good news, I dont care if is a fake news, is verry good news, just to talk about it. The time is ripe for the legalization of marihuana.

  • Cecilia Sabas Weber

    AbrilUno translates to APRIL FIRST … HELLOOOOOO….

    • Juananz

      That’s right, but to be just a bit more precise, it literally translates to “April one”. “April first” would be “Primero de abril” or “Uno de abril” :)

      • Cecilia Sabas Weber

        My comment was more for the gringos than people who actually habla español

  • Stephanie

    I would not buy from Marlboro or any MAJOR Corporation who would want to sell marijuana. For the simple fact that they add so many chemicals to the cigarette, they’ll do the same to the marijuana plant as well. Where as a person who’s more into the plant itself would want to make it better and more potent without chemicals or added ingredients, or safe like it is now, without cancer causing, neurological disorders, and birth defects like the major corporations have done with the simple tobacco leaf.

    • Rave S.

      Stephanie,i’d like to believe that you realize this is a FAKE story; however, after reading your comment, i’m guessing you don’t have a clue.

      • Stephanie

        Rave, you’re correct in believing that I realize that this is a fake story. However, when it becomes reality in the future, which will most likely happen, the big corporations will take over.

  • Martha Carney

    eek, selling my stock in Phillip Morris today-

    • James Mollohan

      fake story

  • Jo-morris Perry

    i really hope that this will prove that the legalizing of marijuana, wilhelp pass it in other states like Michigan, the revenue alone would probably get this counrty back on track, and in the black. So we don”t have to be owned by the Chinese……..GOD BLESS THE U.S.A !!!!!!!

    • Shauna Hedden

      or the cartel, which is taking the south part of our country, over

  • Aaron Robinson

    they had me until the $15 billion ad budget.

  • jasmine

    contacting former druglord in mexico and paraguay. . . .hahahaha

    • Shauna Hedden

      ill find the number, lol

  • Eximus

    so they can ruin probably the only natural thing left to smoke ? fill it whit all those chemical craps ? NO THANKS

    • R Reed Rosson

      Exactly what I was going to say.

      • R Reed Rosson

        in the event that it did happen. this is a fake story but they do have a patent on it.

        • Eximus

          happened or not, the idea exists, and if the idea exists, it can become reality

          • R Reed Rosson

            Word.

  • Jeremiah

    It’s a fake news ad you dumb ass sheeple, I swear some people will believe anything just because it’s linked on an internet page. It says right at the bottom of the page, BEFORE this comment section “Tags: FAKE news, FICTIONAL news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, SATIRE, SPOOF.” If anything Phillip Morris is one of the LARGEST opponents of legalized marijuana, because it would devastate their profit margins. Why pay $7-10 for a pack of Marlboro’s cancer in a stick, when you can smoke legal marijuana instead. Without 99.99% of the toxic shit they dump into each and EVERY Phillip Morris product? If marijuana get’s legalized at the federal level, PM and every other big tobacco company can suck down a pack of their own poison while they watch their profit margins and stock prices go down in flames like the Hindenburg.

    • R Reed Rosson

      You make some good points. Indeed, it is a fake story, however…

      First off, it’s true that they do have a patent on these for when it IS legalized and this has been known for years. OBVIOUSLY they WILL jump on the bandwagon when it is finally legalized nationwide. This perhaps will take ages. It might happen sooner and be sold in the states where they have legalized it, I don’t know. Yes, they will most surely pump them full of addictive and poisonous chemicals like they did with the tobacco in their cigarettes. Some people like cigarettes, so what? I do. I don’t chain-smoke but I enjoy one occasionally. Some people don’t want to go to jail for smoking weed, it’s not available legally in most states even medically. In fact, believe it or not, a lot of people despise smoking the stuff, myself for one. I like the smell and taste, but that’s about it.

      • R Reed Rosson

        By the way, I know you can eat it or vaporize, but the reason I don’t prefer anyway of doing so is the fact I don’t like the way it makes me feel, and often if it’s sativa I go into full blown anxiety attack and paranoia. Not pleasant.

        • Sondra Rene Eisenman

          find one that is not so high in THC and higher CBD. the CBD helps with anxiety I struggled with that at first. CBD works synergistically with THC kind keeping the THC in check.

          • R Reed Rosson

            Thank you Sondra!

          • R Reed Rosson

            I need one with the lowest THC possible, lol, I get drug tested. Corporate job.

    • John Masters

      Post whst you will; it will be legalized no matter how much hell and bitching you do, so live with it or go hide in s cave~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • Rick Perry

    “the company has been high on the idea of marketing cannabis”enough said :D

  • KC CLARK

    Maybe the Marlboro Man of the future will no longer die of cancer. What a wonderful option for a great American company!

  • denny

    Fkin idiots you people honestly think that marlbero would hire a Mexican king pin to try and sell bud….its a fake fkin add holy shit you guys are dumb.

    • ness911

      hahahahah no kidding!! cant believe anyone would think this was true….succkkeeerrrssss!

    • KCMikeG

      Yes people are stupid for believing this story but don’t kid yourself that the tobacco companies would jump all over the market once they realize they can no longer apply enough influence on the politicians to keep it illegal. Screw the foreign drug cartels. We have farmland right here in the good old USA that can grow the pot reducing the need for subsidies and price supports. This combined with the reduced costs of an already overburdened law enforcement, court and prison systems would reduce our taxes. Can’t wait for the day for this story to be true.

    • tonton_tutus

      why would you tell children that Santa does not exist ?

  • Janice Poole

    I vote that Marlboro should do this! Just think of all the money they would make doing this:) Meanwhile, when I fist saw this, I believed it and thought, holy sht:) Finally the big corps are stepping in to make some money. Sadly, this is bull:( But like a child, I still want to believe it’s true:) I’m praying that marijuana or cannabis, becomes legal in all 50 states. God Bless the USA!

  • Troy Branson

    Awesome idea! For nominal share jump, that should say it all. Two thumbs up here we should have them in chemists in Australia for people with medical conditions, easy way for doctors to proscribe and deliver!

  • housewifeinthemidwest

    Big tobacco will do to M cigarettes what they did to regular cigarettes and mix a chemical cocktail of deadly toxins in so whatever benefit you may have gained will be lost.

    • John Masters

      Street sales are safer and will be cheaper after the government sddsons there taxes and fines, personally I will stick ti the street sales s, they a more than likely safes and less costly.

  • Daniel Stevanoff

    Only problem is is it just Marijuana or is is a mix of all the crap that is in normal cigs. I dont spoke at all, but if anyone reads i would recommend just getting your marijuana from some were else not a Cigarette company. They are gonna make the non addicting drug, the most addicting.

    • Russell Love

      Pot is already addictive!

      • tonton_tutus

        I believe Daniel was talking about physical adiction, but Russel you’re absolutely right, this is an addictive substance

        • James Allen Anderson

          you are a moron pot is no more addictive than video gaming,surfing the web,driving fast cars,playing with rc cars,going to the gym, so i guess everthing should be banned right because there all addictive but no withdraws or deppresion,
          you dont want to off your self just because you have to quit smoking . have you ever herd of some one sucking dick for a joint no , so quit worring about pot and worry about other drugs that kill ,will get you killed or that some one kill for……

          • tonton_tutus

            Pardon me, but when did I say that pot should be legal or illegal ? When did I state my point of view about weed being dangerous or not ? This is another debate.
            The fact i’m stating is that weed is addictive, of course chocolate is addictive too.
            So feel free to come back anytime you want to show off your stupidity, i’ll be glad to help you with that.

        • KCMikeG

          So is coffee – should it be criminalized? Why not? I hear people say they can’t function without their coffee in the morning. Don’t speak to me before I have my first cup in the morning. Sounds pretty addictive to me. better outlaw that stuff right now. Too bad there isn’t medical coverage to help them with their addiction. guess we will just have to throw their dysfunctional butts in jail.

          • tonton_tutus

            I agree with you, coffee can be quiet dangerous for health, so is alcohol, or junk food. Weed is being criminalized by lot of people without objective reasons, it’s a fact.
            Maybe we all should be more open minded to talk about the impact of bot both on our society and health as well as we should talk about all the other unhealthy and/or unethical goods that we consume legaly.

        • Guest

          i dont think it should be criminalized just the cig. companies should add the crap they do in cigarettes i think marijuana should be legal trust me I’m not going against anyone here except cigarettes companys. and holy crap were did all these replies come from xD. Anyways weed is not a physically addicting drug is what I’m getting at add nicotine and all the shit thats in cigarettes into a weed cig/blunt well then it will be physically addicting like when it comes to cigarettes. Trust me i think they should legalize it, i dont smoke but i still support it, it would flip the economy over night its a fact.

        • Daniel Stevanoff

          Yes thats exactly what i meant ton ton never said it should be criminalized i think it should be legal. Just the These Cigerrets companies shouldn’t mix the Rat poison and shit into the blunts that they package. Im all for legalizing never smoked never will but i have my reasons why they should

          • Guest

            Reason #1. Colorado grossed over $1,000,000 in sales the first day marijuana was legally traded.

        • tittys

          No it is not do some research

          • tonton_tutus

            Please do the same, just google the word addiction.
            A super wide range of substances or activities are addictive, from coffe to chocolate and from sex to sport, and obviously weed is one of them.

        • Guest

          I’m addicted to having a glass of water at 3:00 p.m. everyday too.

      • ‘Mikee Edwards

        Cannabis is psychologically addicting to less than 10% of ALL users. Physical withdrawals are similar to being depressed, and are rarely even mentioned in reputable studies. Quit believing those lying bastards that run the country / Company USA because they ALL get “Political Donations” from Big Tobacco, Big Pharma, and Big Alcohol (Who are CONSERVATIVELY estimated to lose 30% of their business when cannabis becomes legal nationally) to keep cannabis illegal.

      • James Allen Anderson

        not true at all smoked my whole life just got put on probation had to quit,had no withdraws no depression nothing .now on the other hand i also had to quit drinking due to my random twice a month drug testing went through major withdraws and depression so is pot addictive no, can you quit any time yes, is there any other drug you can just quit with out going through withdraws nooooooo……

      • KCMikeG

        people have addictive personalities and if they are addicted to pot and quit they just replace the addiction with something else. People are “addicted” to coffee, alcohol, gambling, food, sports, posting on ridiculous arguments on the internet, to name a fraction of the addictions in this world. The right thing to do is to provide better mental health services to those who need help with their addictive personality not criminalize the majority who choose to partake while managing their lives appropriately.

        • anonymous

          AMEN to that! ^^

      • tittys

        No its not you dumb sack of shit

  • Russell Love

    It’s already treated with chemicals you dummies, just because the cigarette companies are getting involved doesn’t mean that they are going to treat it with more chemicals! You pothead are really dumb now, I can’t imagine how stupid y’all will be when they legalize it everywhere. I guessing the job market will open up, and honest people will be able to get the good jobs, and the pothead can clean porta potties!!! Lol

    • Brian Bauer

      i almost found a little respect and credibility to your statement, until your final sentence. those are big words coming from someone looking like a child molester.

    • ReubenInTexas

      Russell, hate to burst your bubble but some of us “dummies” work with some of the coolest science and technology out there, make excellent money, and have the common sense to not let a vice ruin our part in society. You probably are only exposed to drug use in situations of poverty, where the real problem is poverty, not pot.

      I must be high though, commenting on a faux-news website….

    • Shauna Hedden

      you don’t know crap. there are children that have cancer, they are prescribed it. they are not taking it to get high dumbass, they take it because it HELPS them. not to mention the other medical illnesses it helps. I have a 147 IQ and ive smoked for most of my adult life. So inform yourself a little better before you run your mouth.

    • Adam Scott Lewis

      youre an idiot. i’d love to kick your ass

    • KCMikeG

      Guess the “honest” people must be pretty pathetic since they got stuck cleaning out pota-potties because they couldn’t beat out “really dumb” “potheads” for a job.

    • Guest

      You have the look of an extremely intelligent man hahahaha! Where do you retards come from. Look my friends grow my weed. They do it legally and for medical reasons. There are no toxins in it, they take the utmost care of it and test it for contaminants on a regular basis. They also make about $300,000 a year so who’s stupid now.

  • missy

    Really POT is not addictive! Your just an idiot! Lol its no worse than beer or wine and should be treated the same…. lol

    • Adam Scott Lewis

      until phillip morris gets ahold of it

  • Kris Knight

    Russell you look like a pothead! Lol

  • Alvin Gene Hogue

    This is most likely a fake article, but if I wanted to smoke some weed (which at this time I do not) I WOULD NEVER PURCHASE IT FROM A LARGE COMMERCIAL PRODUCER. THEY WILL SURELY TAINT THE PRODUCT WITH SOMETHING ADDICTIVE. Buy only from your local dealers.

  • Clint

    “Phillip Morris shares hit an all-time high on the marijuana news and
    shot up to $998.00 from $83.03 just a few hours after the announcement
    went public.”

    That should have been your clue that this is a fake article…

  • Clevenger23

    Let me prove this is fake
    52-Week High96.73
    05/01/2013
    52-Week Low81.50
    01/24/2014

  • Josh Mitchell

    Wow cant believe people believe this story.

  • Kelvin Tamayo

    It would have been a lot more clever if Phillip Morris shares hit an all-time high by reaching $420.00.

  • malcolmkyle

    Ending the insanity of drug prohibition by legalized regulation, respecting the rights of the responsible users, and focusing on addiction as a sickness (just like we do with alcohol and tobacco), may save what remains of our economy and civil institutions, along with countless lives and livelihoods. Prohibition continues unabated for shameful political reasons. It cannot, and never will, reduce drug use or addiction.

    Prohibition has permanently scarred our national character as well as our individual psyches. Our national policies and cultural practices have become pervaded by the fascist/prohibitionist mind-set. A mind-set that has turned our domestic police force into a bunch of paramilitary thugs, who often commit extra-judicial beatings and executions while running roughshod over our rights in order to “protect us from ourselves”.

    When we eventually manage to put the horrors of this moronothon behind us, we’ll need to engage in some very deep and honest soul-searching as to what we want to be as a nation. Many of our freedoms have been severely circumscribed, or lost altogether. Our economy has been trashed and our international reputation for being “free and fair” has been dragged through a putrid sewer by vicious narrow-minded drug warrior zealots who are ignorant of abstract concepts such as truth, justice and decency. We’ll need to make sure that such a catastrophe is never ever repeated. This may mean that public hearings or tribunals will be held where those who’ve been the instigators and cheerleaders of this abomination will have to answer for their serious crimes against our once prosperous and proud nation.

    • gene456

      Wow! Those sure are damn good street drugs you’re getting!

      • tittys

        Your about a dumb ass you know it gene456 you have no idea what you talking about

        • gene456

          No, I know PLENTY of what I’m talking about, head. That’s the problem. I’ve seen so many people fcuk their lives up with drugs, and they all started with your beloved weed. Sorry, but that’s the truth. You want to deny it, be my guest.

          • Love

            Maybe you were around the wrong people!

          • gene456

            Yeah, maybe.

  • John Masters

    Dont give a shit if it is fake or not, the facts are you can buy it any where on any street any corner and even have it delivered ti your house. I alwys thought the people made the laws and voted thsm in after our voted in leaders suggested they be enacted. I ave yet to meet a politician that would not lie ti save his own reputation, polpoliticians shouled be burred neck deep in cow shit and th honest run of the mil person voted in.

  • Gustavo Echeverry

    DUMBA$$ PPL!>>>> © Copyright 2014, Abril Uno. All rights reserved. Abril Uno (April One, or April Fools in English) is a satire, parody and spoof web publication. Abril Uno uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized, parodied or spoofed. Any resemblance to the truth, actual events, actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. All articles contained herein are fiction (“fake”), untrue, and for entertainment only.
    Please read our Privacy Policy.

    • http://uoenoit.com/ Nigga Pleez

      Now go ahead and tell all the kids Santa Clause isn’t real. Hope you feel like a real man now… jackass.

  • Stealth2

    1. This story is obviously a spoof.
    2. It is amazingly unfunny. All of the Onion-wanna-bes should just stop it.

  • Shelia Bishop

    keep the groth of marjana here in the U.S. keep the drug lords out of our profit…

  • 1amStimULater1

    Will they have Marlboro’s infamous fiberglass filters? Tobacco<as I understand it by itself is harmless. It's the chemicals that companies like Marlboro add to it to ,among other things,make the cigarettes burn evenly..Will Marlboro be adding such chemicals to the Marlboro Ms?

  • Bill

    Anything….even killing Americans for the all mighty dollar

    • jontomas

      Except ‘Marlborough M’ would save Americans. – Every person who switches from addictive, very harmful alcohol, to near harmless marijuana, improves their health and life tremendously – as well as that of their family and community.

      I’ve known several people who have been saved from the destruction of alcoholism by switching to cannabis.

      • gene456

        And there are little green men strolling on the Moon, right?

        • jontomas

          Do they look like President Obama? He just made a public statement saying marijuana is less dangerous than alcohol – agreeing with science and most Americans.

          • gene456

            Oh, well! If the President of the United States says it’s not as harmful, then it MUST be so, right? For after all, the President knows EVERYTHING. And if a poll of Americans says so, then it also must be so, correct?
            What an imbecile.

          • Knowledgable Citizen

            Lol no he’s just agreeing with the millions of studies done and scientists who say so, so it MUST be so, right??
            If you don’t agree with it, then don’t criticize those who want to partake. It doesn’t look like you’re bashing anyone who drinks.

          • gene456

            Have I defended heavy drinking? NO! But that doesn’t mean I endorse what you pot head losers do. But do I care if you fcuk up your life on drugs? Not in the least. Please, go ahead and smoke that carcinogenic gateway drug as mush as you like. The sooner you wipe yourself out, the better.

          • Dejan Vlastelica

            I’m really sad for you my friend. All that anger built up inside. .That can’t be good for you. Maybe you should talk to someone. Or smoke a joint.

          • gene456

            What a coincidence! I don’t feel sad for you at all. To be honest, I could not give a shit what garbage pail drug users like you do to yourselves. That’s the truth.

          • Gary O’Brien

            I see you are still here being a troll. God I hope you are a troll rather than just a very stupid person. If you know how to, google some topics about cannabis studies and have a read of some of them, this will back up all the information people have already told you. Like i said in a previous comment, you may start getting use to cannabis being around, because it will be legal soon.

          • gene456

            Maybe, maybe not. I’m not sure yet.

            But as I said, if it is made legal, the big tobacco companies are likely to get into it. That will create a huge dilemma for you people, and my guess is that once that happens, the Lefties will start coming out against pot. You’ll see.

          • Dejan Vlastelica

            Smoking weed doesn’t make me a bad person. Just as going to church doesn’t make you a good one.

          • andrea

            and we pot smokers are not all losers i have a full time job and have 3 children 19, 16, and 10 none of which smoke the eldest now drinks but very rarely, none of them hang around on street corners or in parks making a nuisance of themselves, 19 is just about to finish college and go to uni, 16 is in 6th form studying to become a forensic scientist, and the 10 year old always has a glowing report every time. By the way i am a single mum and have been for the last 4 years since my husband died. so I think I’d appreciate not being called a loser

          • gene456

            I don’t call you a loser because your husband died. And I’m very glad your kids seemed to turn out so well.

            So they don’t use drugs? Why not? Haven’t you told them how good pot is, just like you’re telling me now? What is their opinion about your drug use?

          • andrea

            seemed to turn out so well? they choose not to, i have talked with my kids openly about pot since they were old enough to ask questions, i don’t smoke tobacco and don’t smoke pot around them and have always said i would be a hypocrite if i ever told them not to. as for my husbands death, that was through addiction to prescribed drugs

          • Knowledgable Citizen

            Okay, excuse me while I go overdose on marijuana….oh wait

          • anonymous

            I’m sorry for this in advance, but the only person who looks like an imbecile is you gene456. If you read any study conducted show marijuana is NEARLY harmless, no more of a gateway drug then alcohol or nicotine. We as a country need to evolve past this pot prohibition, and the only way to achieve this is become more open minded…which you clearly have issues with.

          • anonymous

            Oh and your constant use of personal attacks, also makes it clear you have no god damn idea what your talking about.

          • Tracy

            Your not going to change his mind, he has been brainwashed by the us government and the, church, and 50 years of b.s. that has been fed to him! sanjay goupta came out and said that pot has many medicinal effect, and that if it wasnt shunned for so long we may have a cure for many types of cancer! this guy is some small town moron that believes anything the government tells him! Go eat some Monsanto products in excess please gene456

          • gene456

            Gee, what’s your source? High Times Magazine?

            I know of no reputable drug counselor who would endorse what you’re saying. And personally, every individual I’ve ever known who’s fcuked his life up on drugs started out with pot. EVERY ONE.

            But do I care if you screw yourself up on drugs? Not in the least. Smoke away for all I care.

          • Dejan Vlastelica

            Not all, but most people that get hooked on heavier drugs once upon a time started out with just smoking pot, but not everyone that smokes pot gets hooked. Therefore your gatway theory is invalid. Here’s a fun fact. Just 1 out of every 104 cannabis smoker try cocain. Even fewer people try heroin. That’s less than 5 % chance of you trying something harder than weed. And if you would get hooked on som bad drugs it wouldn’t be because of the weed, it would be because you’re a dipshit loser already from the start.

          • gene456

            “Not all, but most people that get hooked on heavier drugs once upon a time started out with just smoking pot,”
            - From my own experience, it’s all of them. But I’ll accept what you say here.

            “but not everyone that smokes pot gets hooked.”
            - True. And I never said anything to the contrary.

            “Just 1 out of every 104 cannabis smoker try cocain.”
            - Yeah, that’s a fun fact, alright. And I DON’T BELIEVE IT. Where’s your source?

            “That’s less than 5 % chance of you trying something harder than weed.”
            - Again, I don’t believe that. Source?

            “And if you would get hooked on som bad drugs it wouldn’t be because of the weed, it would be because you’re a dipshit loser already from the start.”
            - Based on? Sorry, your “logic” was conceived in a joint.

          • andrea

            to add to my previous comment i also know quite alot of crack and heroin users who have never touched weed i don’t need sources i see it in front of me in every day life.

          • gene456

            Quite a lot, eh? LOL!!

          • Guest

            crack and heroin users dont use weed… they use crack and heroin.. wheres your source bible bumper?

          • gene456

            Wow! Aren’t YOU the angry one?
            Better get help ASAP, drugged-out lifelong loser.

          • gene456-doesntknowshit

            WHERES YOUR SOURCE

          • hardwroc

            YOU CAN’T handle the source. Try the latest report on the “effects of use of cannabis” by the CDC, AMA, and any other source available. And throw out your Reefer Madness copy.

          • hardwroc

            As demonstrated by your refusal to accept CNN as legitimate sourcing, despite their likely referrencing THEIR source at the time, it would be pointless to bother citing a source to you since you would employ the GOP ploy of singlehandedly “invalidating” them as credible.
            You have already shown that you have little knowledge and much opinion, invlidating YOUR opinion as uneducated and factless, so, I’ll end my attempt to discuss this with you as politely as I can. You know ZERO, and show little respect in your diatribe.

          • Guest

            Try Dr. Sanjay Gupta cock breath

          • gene456

            Sanjay Gupta, with CNN – the Clinton News Network. Only 98,000 people now watch them prime time. Even the Catholic station EWTN has a bigger audience than that.

            Case closed. Next!

          • hardwroc

            First, you attempt to discredit anonymous response by suggesting his source is “high times”, then YOU come back telling us no “drug counselor” would endorse the use of drugs, THEIR JOB is created to “correct the errant behavior”, by the law. Of course, private owner of prisons filled with pot smokers, making millions would agree with the counselors. Now, would the counselors endorse the use of tobacco, and alcohol?

    • James Kvamme

      marajuana ISNT DEADLY. look at the studies again theyve been updated since 1980s, why so much money is spent to regulate and bust criminals for it is like ticketing everyone that smokes cigarettes.

      • gene456

        Marijuana in itself is not deadly. But it is a gateway to other drugs that are deadly.

        • Hawk33

          it is not a gateway drug you moron..

          • gene456

            Yes, it IS, you fcuking drugged out IDIOT.

          • You are probably dumb

            Water is a clear beverage… must be a gateway to vodka?

          • gene456

            Yeah, right.
            Go back to your joint, lifelong loser.

          • Ellen

            Every substance affects different people differently. Some people may be inclined to try other more harmful substances after trying marijuana while others would never dreams of using anything harder. I’ve known people who got into heavy drugs through use of alcohol. Everyone is an individual and it is important to know your own body and mind and to be careful about anything you put in it.

          • gene456

            Nice try, but you’re speaking in hypotheticals. I’m talking about real experience.

          • imdjsarge

            What drugs does it lead to? I’m a daily user for my A.D.D. and arthritis (have a hip replacement and will need two knee replacements within the next 1-3 years).

            Started smoking pot about 10 years ago and I still haven’t had any desire to take anything else. I will avoid any type of “synthetic” medicine. So I would say this would be your opinion and that is pretty much it.

            So you’re “real experience” is just your experience. Please don’t talk about mine.

            Have a great day. Make it you’re best :)

            p.s. Stop calling people names. Act like an adult.

          • gene456

            “What drugs does it lead to? ”
            - Coke, Crack, Ecstasy, and whatever other hard drugs currently exist out there. Sorry, I don’t keep up with the latest “fads”. You’ll need to check them out for yourself.

            “I’m a daily user for my A.D.D. and arthritis”
            - And all that’s available to you is pot, eh? Sorry, but I don’t buy that. Not to belittle your illnesses, but the way you talk reminds me of the father in “South Park” who works to get cancer just so he can obtain medical marijuana. He was happy as hell to find a legitimate illness and get the prescription.

            “I will avoid any type of “synthetic” medicine.”
            - So you opt for something that’s smoked, increasing the likelihood of not only taking other street drugs, but also getting cancer. From the way you talk, you sound like an older person. If you suffer from ADD, arthritis, hip problems, and knee problems like you say, why would you ever want to increase you chances of getting something else? Think about it.

          • Gary O’Brien

            You obviously know nothing about weed or you would know that you don’t have to smoke it to get high. Would you rather that he uses prescriptiond drugs? Because they are really safe, right? Or because they are legal? People like you need to get off their moral high-horse.

            There are little kids who are having hundreds of seizures a week thay can be treated with cannabis. It has proved extremely successful as these children are having only one seizure a week since their treatment began. Do you think it is right to let these children suffer because a bunch of prats, who think they know what is best for us, won’t legalise the plant.

            We live in the year 2014 and we still don’t have basic human rights. Whistleblowers are hunted down and the NSA spies on every little thing you do. I feel sad and ashamed that this is the future for our children.

            Until the government bans alcohol, perscription drugs, cigarettes and sugar, which kill millions of people each year, then there is not valid arguement for Cannabis being illegal.

            Oh, and you say about cannabis being a gateway drug. I actually just bust out laughing. This is the usual bullshit propaganda that is fed to us by the governments. Just because you could not control your drug use does not mean that the majority can’t. Hell, I know a lot of people who have a drink problem, that does not mean that it should be banned.

            I suggest you go and educate yourself my friend, for in the next 10 years every country in the world is going to be flooded with ganja. Legal ganja that is ;)

          • gene456

            “You don’t have to smoke it to get high.”
            - Eating it in brownies and other things is not a good idea. You might not know how much you’re getting, and using too much can lead to hallucinations, delusions, impaired memory, disorientation, and increased risk of a heart attack.

            “Would you rather that he uses prescriptiond drugs?”
            - Gee, would I rather he use doctor-prescribed drugs that are government approved, and have undergone clinical trials over and over again by an army of MDs and PhDs? Or would I prefer he buy some weed grown God knows where under God knows what circumstances containing God knows what substances, but strongly endorsed by some low-life street dealer known only by a first name who says “Hey, man! Dis here’s really good shit man!”. Hmmm, that’s a tough one. But yeah, I think I’ll go with the prescription drugs. How about you?

            “There are little kids who are having hundreds of seizures a week thay can be treated with cannabis. It has proved extremely successful as these children are having only one seizure a week since their treatment began.”
            - And where’s the evidence for THIS new medical marijuana miracle? In High Times again?

            “I feel sad and ashamed that this is the future for our children.”
            - So you think we should trust our children to the drug pushers, right? I hope to God you don’t have children, for their sakes.

            “Oh, and you say about cannabis being a gateway drug. I actually just bust out laughing. This is the usual bullshit propaganda that is fed to us by the governments.”
            - Yeah, the mean old government just wants to make your poor little life soooooo miserable, right? Waaaahhh!!!

            “In the next 10 years every country in the world is going to be flooded with ganja.”
            - Every country, eh? OK, pal. Go to Saudi Arabia or China or Taiwan or Malaysia, among other places, and announce that. Know what will happen to you? YOU’LL DIE. And not from drugs. You’ll be EXECUTED.

          • gene456-doesntknowshit

            wheres your source

          • Guest

            Do you have any idea how pharmaceutical companies work, how big they are, and how many lobbyists they have per member of congress? They’re some of the most evil companies on the planet! Your PhD, MD, government evaluated drugs have recalls on tv everyday! people die, or get serious side effects that are irreversible. Anal leakage is a usual side effect of these “prescription drugs”for god sake. But go ahead let somebody else make the decision for you, you’re obviously not capable of making your own decisions or forming your own ideas. And I’ve been eating ganja cupcakes all weekend and just got a 100% on my first calculus exam. I’m a straight A student with a 3.82 GPA and I study psychopharmacology as a hobby and I smoke pretty much everyday. (Just for your sake since you probably have no idea what that means – Psychopharmacology is the scientific study of the effects drugs have on mood, sensation, thinking, and behavior.) That means prescription drugs, advil, prozac, marijuana, ecstasy, tea, coffee, any substance that has an effect on your body and brain.

          • gene456

            Does pot make one paranoid, too? Because that’s what YOU are, pal. Don’t walk to the nearest psychiatrist’s office – RUN.

            PS: If you were a straight A student, you would not have a 3.82 GPA. It would be 4.00. So I guess pot makes one delusional as well. Eating those cupcakes, eh? LOL!

          • Guest

            dsa

          • abdul christoval

            dude do you even speak from experience? harvard has made a study in which cannabis was prooven to kill brain cancer cells

          • gene456

            Show me the reference, DUDE.

          • my turn

            r qt years and then stopped to join the army. Its been since 2007 since i quit,but i broke my ankle went throigh 4 surgeries and became addicted to pain meds because i was perscribed them for three years and am currently fighting this addiction which has led me into the bowles of hell since i am currently a recovering heroin addict but i dont blame weed for it and i dont think it is a gateway however man made pills are the gateway that has completely destroyed me .if people want to smoke pot to dull the pain rather than tsking pills its a good choice in my opinion more power to them.thanks for listeningI smoked pot fo

          • Gary O’Brien

            Firstly, if you make brownies you will know how much cannabis is in them. If you buy them from a cafe, you will also know how much cannabis is in them. So your first point is invalid, that is unless the columbian cartel chefs start making brownies, then you should be worried.

            Prescription drugs are given to you by doctors who are told what to do, pushed on them by the big pharmas. They are not safe. Some tablets have got insane side effects and are extremely addictive, but that doesn’t matter because you are one of these people that think “oh it’s legal, it must be okay for me, my government told me so”. You type of people can’t even think for yourselves, you go along with your told to go along with. It’s quite saddening.

            As I have a life and I am quite busy, I don’t uave time to find evidence about the little kids seizures, but one of them was called Charlotte. If you google “Charlottes Web” youwill see the video I am talking about. They have developed a strain that is very high in CBD and virtually free of THC. That means there are NO side effects. It has saved these kids lives and if you watch the video, you will see that. It actually brought a tear to my eye. But the fact that you implied I read this in high times tells me that you don’t know anything about cannabis.

            I’ll tell you a good one mate. I use to be a heroin addict for 2 years when I was 16. You not how I got hooked on the shit? It was not because I starting smoking weed, it was because of the people I hung about with. They were the ones bringing me down. I fought the addiction hard and I won, I managed to get to college and now I am doing very well for myself. Now I smoke weed alot, but guess what? It yasnt actually been a gateway ti heroin again. Thank god what you say about it being a gateway is not true because I don’t want to go back there.i use it once every 3 or 4 months recreationally but I am sure you find that unacceptable because the governments don’t agree.

            One thing I am certain of is that no matter how illegal all these drugs are, we are still going to take them. The biggest drugs website in the world was taken down in October only for it to reopen a month later.now it is almost twice the size of the original and growing. Imagine, the people running these sites are self professed drug takers, yet they outsmarted the entire us government for over 2.5 years, and the only reason he got caught was because he was sloppy with his personal info. To this day they have not been able to crack the sites hardware. Once again, this site is run by people who take drugs.

            If you have any other bullshit to spurt out , be my guest as I will more than happily prove all your propagandist bullshit invalid

          • gene456

            “I use to be a heroin addict for 2 years when I was 16. You not how I got hooked on the shit? It was not because I starting smoking weed, it was because of the people I hung about with. They were the ones bringing me down.”

            - This will be my very last post on this board. I’m saving it for you, because of this line. So your friends forced you take smack? No, pal. You chose to do so. Stop blaming others. I’m sure your friends were bad people, but unless they forcibly injected it into your veins, they are not to blame. YOU are.

            The fact that you’ve gone down that hard drug road says a lot, and reinforces what I’m saying about pot being a gateway. Sorry to hear that you did with heroin, but I’m glad for your sake you’re away from it. Want some advice? Get away from pot as well. I stay 1000 miles away from ALL of this illicit garbage, and I never had a drug problem one day in my life. You should try the same.

            Good luck.

          • Gary O’Brien

            I don’t have a drug problem Gene, I use to. These people were not my friends, they were pushers. A group of people I unfortunately fell in with. I created my drug addiction, and i beat it. I am very glad that this happened because it thought me a lot about drug abuse.

            Gene, if I am honest, i do get where you are coming from. I can see that you live in a place where drug abuse is rampant and you probably lost a good few friends to drugs. I too have had the same faith. But I have also lost 2 uncles to alcohol abuse. I just think there needs to be a balance of what is legal and illegal. You can’t just ban something because some people can’t moderate. Drugs are not for everyone, In get that. If I am honest, the first time i took most party drugs was after drinking alcohol and I am sure that this is the case with a lot of people. Alcohol, as far as I am concerned is much more of a gateway drug than cannabis.

            This will also be my last comment. Cannabis at the very least should be legal for medical purposes, just like prescription drugs. I am happy to buy my weed over the darknet and smoke in the comfort of my home, but all these kids that suffer seizures and cancer patients should not be made suffer, no matter what the reasons are.

            Gene, although we have different views, I respect your opinion.

            Goodbye mate.

          • andrea

            because it’s the tobacco that people put with it that makes it so harmful. pure weed is nothing more than smoking a tea plant. and we all know everyone loves Tea. that comes from a plant that grows same as weed, but your not going to go mad at tea drinkers are you

          • gene456

            Uh, yeah. That’s a very compelling argument. I’ve never encountered such insightful logic before! Thank you for that bit of brilliance!

            Go back to your “tea”, burn-out.

          • gene456-doesntknowshit

            way to avoid it

          • Guest

            By the way Gene you should do some research about people who are prescribed pain killers and get addicted and start using heroin. I work at a hospital and Oxycodone and Hydrocodone are two of the most addictive and dangerous substances we have yet they prescribe those on a daily basis.
            So you’re “legitimate” family friendly doctor approved DRUGS are much worse than marijuana. (they kill about 15,000 people per year)

          • gene456

            15,000 per year? And where does THAT statistic come from?
            Shall I tell you how many people die from illegal drugs?

          • hardwroc

            And account for a huge percentage of drug store breakins and robberies, as well as pilfered within the home, and sold on the street by people that get them by prescription and sell excess, or pilfered by a friend or family member.
            Add to that, they are VERY addictive. Very!

          • abdul christoval

            there is nothing wrong with herb

          • gene456

            Yeah, man. Far out!

          • T2385

            “gateway drug”…gateway drug? the “gateway” is the person , not the drug. “Gateway” was coined by the elitist pricks that want to tell us what to do.

          • gene456

            Yeah, all those mean old government people want to do is tell you what you can do and can’t do. They just want to make you feel bad, right? Waaaahhh!!!!!

          • hardwroc

            Actually, many have made CAREERS off the looney prosectuio of pot users, taken their property, made fortunes off the privately owned prison industry, filled with pot users and traffickers. It’s, (not surprisingly) about both money, and power.

          • Guest

            geez again man you are the biggest tard I’ve ever seen. Do your research. Cannabis is one of the best medicines for arthritis. The only side effect is hunger, and you can have it in pill form, cook it into food, smoke it out of a vaporizer (so it’s vapor not smoke no effect on your lungs whatsoever), or a water pipe.

            And what else would he be “getting?”
            And “street drugs”? What planet do you live on?

          • gene456

            What else will he getting? How about cancer, man? How about a heart attack from too large a dose, man?
            Don’t know what street drugs are, man? Far out, man.

            LOL! What an imbecile. Please just overdose and die, loser.

          • abdul christoval

            loove mary jane

          • gene456

            I’m sure you do!

          • hardwroc

            OMG, Gene, you’ve got it bad. You have just demonstrated the least amount of knowledge of what you speak, since the GOP talked about smoking LSD, and “taking pot”.
            Clue: there have been no known overdoses of pot, or deaths NOT at the gunpoint of police, or a gang member. IF, you overindulge smoking pot, you go to sleep, and I’ve never heard a single suggestion of a relationship with heart disease or attacks. Ever. As for “street drugs”, those are what you get from the black market, when a law based on fiction, make a plant illegal to possess. IF, legal, a simple seed can be planted and produce a plant, undoctored, untainted and perfectly safe to dry, smoke, add to bakery goods, foods, or make tea and soak your feet if you like. (the last one is nonsense, but, most of your assertions have been as well).

          • Peter Welch

            There’s no such thing as a “gateway drug.” There is such a thing as a “gateway culture,” and legalizing pot would actually somewhat remove it from such cultures. The bit about needing a bigger high is nonsense.

            Also, anecdotal evidence is not evidence. Also, next time you start a sentence with “Not to belittle,” I would just stop there.

          • gene456

            Yeah, right. A gateway culture. That’s it.
            LOL!

          • Peter Welch

            So your argument is that marijuana is on a scale of drugs that includes all and only illegal drugs wherein the use of each inevitably leads to use of the next one up because of some shared chemical sympathy, independent of all other factors?

            I shudder to imagine the suffering that navigating the world with your brain must cause you and your loved ones.

          • gene456

            And I shudder to think that the child in your photo might have an irresponsible drugged out imbecile like you for a parent.

          • hardwroc

            Gene, turn on the TV and watch a few medication adverts, and listen to the “possible side effects” listed, including death. Pot has ZERO deaths attributed to it, beyond shooting by law enforcement, (to tave them from the evils of using pot, via gunshot death)
            And understand, the very first Drug Czar, under Nixon, was told to research the harm done by using it, and found the worst thing connected to the usage, was the criminal charges.

          • gene456-doesntknowshit

            so was she… re-read

          • anonymous

            u sir are a disgrace.. i dont use shit and pot is a wonderful idea. just cuz you ruined your life with drugs doesnt mean anything. all you do is slander ppl with no facts. fact is you know nothing you just have an opinion and thats your right but on the real.. its an opinion not fact. many of tests have been proving everything most ppl know about pot is wrong. ppl like you are whats wrong with this country. so plz go be a friendless piece of shit somewhere else.

          • gene456

            LOL!!! YOU are the drug user who cannot even write, and you are calling ME a “disgrace”. My God, what this world has become! And no, I never ruined my life with drugs.
            Speaking of God, check out Isaiah 5:20. It very much applies to you.

          • gene456-doesntknowshit

            wheres your source?

        • PaddyHenry

          I heard it will make you rape women and listen to jazz music! Gene has Reefer Madness on Bluray!!

        • andrea

          it is not a gateway drug people will blame anything not to admit why they started taking the other drugs, I know I’ve been smoking weed since the age of 16 and never touched another drug, as has my brother and many other people I know without the need to go on to harder drugs. i’m now 36

          • gene456

            Great. I know such people too. But I know a lot of others who began with pot and DID go onto harder substances, and fcuked up their lives terribly. What do you say to THAT?

          • gene456-doesntknowshit

            wheres your source

          • andrea

            yes there are a lot of ppl that do and i feel very sorry for them for doing that to their lives, but you could say the same about alcohol, but you can’t just shout gateway drug when that isn’t the case in many ppl

          • Guest

            That tells me that pot didn’t fcuk up their lives…. the harder substances did dumdum

          • gene456

            Jerk.

          • hardwroc

            Darwin at work, and the credbility of the people warning about dangerous drugs, WASTED, branding pot equal to heroin and Cocaine. NOT even in the parking lot, outside the ballpark.
            BTW, almost EVERY alcoholic, drank milk, and likely does drink coffee, completing the link, to making them each a gateway to alcoholism, by the govt theory of cause/effect.

        • hardwroc

          Gene, IF, you had to go to the local heroin dealer to get your coffee, and the govt made it illegal because it’s so deadly for you to consume, based on the word of people that know zero about it, YOU too may be tempted by another substance sold there, also labeled deadly for use, but, hey, YOU and everyone else knows coffee is not criiminal level dangerous, so, maybe they’re lying about that one too. See a thought there? Credibility crushed, and thus, advice and warning, ignored, along with funneling customers to the worst place possible.

        • DW

          I love when they throw this argument out, because I get to ask, “How many people were introduced to marijuana before they were introduced to caffeine and sugar? And Benadryl? And cough syrup. Probably some sort of pain meds along they way.Marijuana sure didn’t work that way for me. EXCEPT quaaludes MAY have been a result, but I highly doubt it. If I ever tried one, I’d have kept on for a while. I’d much rather do a little weed than the concoction of man made pills they have me on now or PTSD. If I could take two or three tokes a day, instead of five pills, it would be much, much healthier for me. Not to mention all the side effects which come with the pills. And I don’t know the answer today, I just know how it was when I was coming up. Do more people drink first or toke first. Used to be VERY unusual for someone to smoke first. So there are a lot of gateway before we ever even get to marijuana. You can’t just pick and choose what you think a gateway drug is. You have to look at facts;

        • Jack

          You are an absolute idiot Gene456! You are yet another stunning example of an individual blinded by the “Reefer Madness” era propaganda. I won’t even get into the biology of the human body and the effects of ethanol vs thc but I will tell you that your argument is invalid.

  • Max

    I knew it was too good to be true =)

  • WJS

    read every now and then. Phillip Morris doesn’t even sell Marlboros in America. Phillip Morris is an International company that has the right to sell Marlboro in every country in he world but America. PM USA is a part of Altria…the American company tha sells Marlboro in America.

  • sdfsdf

    Tags: fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire,spoof

  • Scott Q.

    Um, this is a false story folks, a fake, a farce a joke. No one has noticed that the name of the site here is April One in Spanish?

  • Anthony L

    Am I the only one who thinks this is a good idea? I will buy these in a heartbeat, I hate rolling j’s and this makes it much easyer.

    • Ivan Bittencourt

      for me rolling a joint is one of the best parts… a thin one, or a fat one, or a long one, you roll it the way you feel like, and smoke it that’s the most fun thing. if they do it that way they might put tobacco or nicotine in it

  • Steven Matos

    yeah dont forget though if this is true there going to put all that nicotene and shit in it man might as well go to home boy and grab an eighth

  • Candis Gambino

    Why are y’all all arguing over something so trivial.. Grow up. Your absolutely crazy if you think the federal government will be importing weed from drug lords… Lol y’all sound like some high school kids arguing, grow up!!! Seriously.. Is this all the life you have?? Lol any half brained individual would know this is fake by the “tagged” words under the article. You surely are smarter than this.. Lol and btw some of you sound like drug addicted pheens. Smh..

    • DisDik

      Crazier things have happened, so, you never know…

      • Candis Gambino

        Indeed.. But I just don’t see it.. I know and understand their is so much we don’t know.. But that?? I would say no.. Weed isn’t all that bad. What will they accomplish?? Not much… They would be better off importing addictive substances. Once you get your target group addicted you will #1- ALWAYS make $$ and #2- make just as much money on legal fees and fines from getting busted.. I’m sure billions are spent yearly on such things.

    • Cliff Riley

      Are you serious,what don’t the gov. import from other countries, in the name of world peace

      • Candis Gambino

        The gov imports tons of shit.. They won’t be importing illicit narcotics.. And if they do, they aren’t going to send you a memo..

  • Ron Cre

    1. You don’t put nicotine in.. Cigarettes already have it. 2.,, This was
    a gag, 3. anyone that smokes pot, legal or not, is a moron.. regardless
    of what the Pro-Pot crew tells you, smoking pot is worse than
    Cigarettes. do your research.

    • TheSmartOneYourNot

      Retard. “Do your research” How about doing your own?

    • Gweedo

      3.a. anyone that smokes cigarettes… is a moron.. (I used to be one of those)

    • Ben W

      the chemical CBN in marijuana actually kills cancer cells (fact), also no one has ever died or developed cancer, emphysema, COPD etc. from marijuana these are the results of 99% of the worlds research. spread the word of truth not propaganda.

    • gene456

      Agree 100%.

  • jason d

    oh my god guys, yes this is fake, they’re not stupid, the magic of weed is that there isn’t just “weed” theres strains and people have favorites and ones they dont like. if big tobacco ever tried to get into this they’d have to produce a single strain on such insane proportions that it just isnt economical. I live in colorado and yes weed is legal here and its great but the shock value gets old real quick. I moved here from Florida and i smoked FAR more there than here and its far cheaper(aside from rec. sales with the insane taxes they have atm) and more accessible here obviously. So PLEASE stop acting like its a gateway drug, it simply isn’t. Stupid people will justify trying bad drugs, its that simple. Having smoked a plant that makes you laugh and sleep has zero effect on that. that being said, get with the picture none-believers. Our economy is booming, our people are happy and generous to others, and our weed is damn good when you feel like having it. It’s going to happen eventually, might as well be the 3rd state.

  • Glenn Berman

    Funny well played, beat out the “Onion” on this one.

  • John Doe

    It’s a fake story , but it’s funny to see all these clueless people saying how weed is a bad thing. MJ <3 keept it real

  • ashok choudhury

    if you are self governed good’ does not turn out to be bad….but then one has to be sure of the good’ even if relatively …

  • Sebaz

    have begun contacting “former” drug lords…..yeah, right

    • Blabla

      Tags: fake news, fictional news, marijuana, marlboro, morris, phillip, satire, spoof

  • ZM Jones

    If anything, the name “Abril Uno” should give it away. As in “April 1st” otherwise known as April Fools Day….

  • dale

    Right, contacting former drug lords, phillip morris is’nt even that stupid

  • dale

    Yea! It’s a gateway drug, gateway to enlightenment chaaaa

  • Willyum Ivy

    this would be funny,except Vincente Fox, past President of Mexico, and an Executive from Microsoft, stating that they are “BIG MARIJUANA”, HAVE ALREADY PROPOSED MEXICO TO GROW FOR THE USA !!!!!!!!!!!!
    KEEP THE RIGHT TO GROW YOUR OWN MEDICINE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • BillyBubba

    Drug lords are not supposed to be getting any action like this. I hope pm gets busted big time for walking the wrong side of the line

    • Michelle Geary Demke

      omg people simply can’t be so challenged, mentally. it scares me.read a book or just read the bottom of the article spoof .

  • The Truth, maaan

    Non-filtered please

  • T2385

    “gateway drug”…gateway drug? the “gateway” is the person , not the drug. “Gateway” was coined by the elitist pricks that want to tell us what to do.

    • hardwroc

      If, we are going to rewind to establish the “gateway” to bad habits by correlating things previously consumed, we could ban mothers milk, or milk or water, school, tennis shoes conversation, public access, or pretty much anything you like.
      OR, we could associate the baseless condemnation and demonization, found to be so untrue, and thereby diluting/debunking ALL govt declarations on drugs or substances. I’d go with the latter, meaning, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, Oh crap, Herion IS BAD, but, you lied about that other thing, and so I thought…..

  • T2385

    Absolutely a bogus article. As for individuals who choose not to smoke, more power to you. Why does it interfere/make a difference in your life regarding those who need a little extra to relax or enjoy this one life? LET THE PEOPLE CHOOSE. Isn’t that what America is supposed to be about?

    • Will Johnston

      get your god durn gubmint hands off my weed. Murica!

  • Jamie

    id rather see local businesses benefit from the new market, screw corporations who take advantage by adding addictive chemicals into their products.

    • DW

      I just said the same thing, before scrolling down to read your post. You must be a freakin’ genius.

  • Mustachio

    Perhaps they can find a cocktail of chemicals to add that will take them from habit forming to physical addiction!

  • TJDAY

    you all see the tags right? baha fake news, ficitonal news, spoof. dumbasses

    • Harpo Barx

      congratulations! You’re the smartest guy in your basement!

  • StarThrower

    Well, I do NOW… but I didn’t when I posted that comment. I guess it also just stood to reason that P-M would jump into the world of a newly legalized product… and it may still happen, who knows?

  • hardwroc

    Like I’ve always said, it won’t be legal, until big business gets into the money stream, and at that time, INSTANTLY legal. Here we go. Withing 5 years, we’ll be hearing a rerun of the old Cheech and Chong, “Acapulco Gold” commercial.

  • GanjaMadness

    Yes I do know this is a bogus report. I am very well educated. I have seen more alcoholics switch to hard street drugs and die than any pot smokers. EVER. From my experience at least. DID you know a crack addict can do more crack if he alternates it with getting drunk? what?! Would that make alcohol the reason he does more crack? Not in my eyes. But it’s the same concept. Weed used to be encouraged by our government, I am sure you “anti pot smokers” can remember back that far. I mean considering your arguments sound very 60′-ish and very naive.

    I bet half of you disgruntled posters have taken oxy for some problem or another to dull your pain. ITS SYNTHETIC heroin. People now need to use methadone to get off oxy. Man made and endorsed by our officials.

    I think its great to see this spoof ad cause its nice to think out of the box. Shame on you simple minded people for not running with this abstract thought.

    Lost many of friends and family members due to alcohol and it’s complications. Lost friends and family to pot smoking alone – none.

    The gate way you really are referring to is basically a weak will inside the people. Weed is the first and easiest drug for them to try to dull their issues in their own heads, They find it mundane and want something more. If weed wasn’t there the same people would by pass weed and go right to heroin, cocaine, or other street drugs first. Alcohol is the street drug IMO. You cant even drive a car drunk, let alone know how to say no to peer pressure.

    • Michelle Geary Demke

      well said

    • Joe N Jeanette Sona

      well said , people that disagree with legalizing weed really don’t understand they just believe what they are told by the right wingers, Legalize weed , its better than alcohol any day.

  • Naajiya Arabella Blight

    don’t smoke weed or cigarettes…but it wouldn’t surprise me if Marlboro does that

  • DW

    Hope it never gets to that point, but who knows what will happen ten or twenty years from now? Those knuckleheads won’t leave it organic. They’ll fill it with chemicals to get you addicted, just like the do with cigarettes.

  • Carmen Lorton

    If they are gonna make it legal they better come up with a way to test people that are behind the wheel for being under the influance of a drug. I dont want to be on the road with them anymore then a drunk.

    • JoE K

      Here’s the test: If they have some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, beef jerky, peanut butter. Häagen-Dazs chocolate ice cream bars, chocolate, gotta have chocolate, popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers with marshmallows, celery, grape jelly, Cap’n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, two big pizzas with everything on ‘em, water, and Funyons in their vehicle and are driving the speed limit or slower, their high.

      • Alejandro Restrepo López

        hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

      • Jariel

        and lots and lots of water

      • Will Johnston

        lol, u win

    • Jamie

      you already drive with them on the road, they re the ones turning on their directionals before the turn is visible, with both hands correctly on the steering wheel.

      • Will Johnston

        if they are under 60 and driving more than 5 mph under the speed limit, most likely they’re high

        • Shigeki Hizashi

          not necessarily, i drive like that because i’m so nervous about wrecks, i’ve seen a ton of them as a kid and it’s caused me to become overly cautious

    • Mike Litoris

      Weed is not a drug, it’s an herb. God, ignorant people these days, thinking you can get addicted to weed, just one of those people.

    • alishaahsila

      You should start looking around you. Trust me you are already on the road with them. They are among us! Mwahahahahaa

    • RandomThoughts

      You can always tell the stoners , they are driving very slow and careful unlike most of the other idiots on the road .

      Cheers

    • Kelsenellenelvial Gil’Ravadry

      Yeah, weed doesn’t make your driving any worse unless maybe you’re a total noob. Even then it would only be worse because they’d be laughing like crazy. Your reasoning stays the same, you just become happier.

  • Mgp Awn

    This is bad news… We ned less corporate interest in the world. Corporations will destroy the earth for a little bit of extra profit.

  • Mgp Awn

    Oh this is fake I think

  • Steve Goldschmidt

    Interesting that you got no reply from gene on these links. Maybe he is reading them and trying to reverse his lobotomy?

    • Jesse Johnson

      Hahahah right? He tells me to show the research, I do, and nothing. Just disappears :P

      • Steve Goldschmidt

        I think he is employed by the cartels. They are really the only ones that worries about legalization anymore. Even non pot smokers are over it. I notice none of those references are High Times or Rolling Stone articles either. Well done Jesse.

        • Jesse Johnson

          Thank you. I have never been one to go and talk about things without having a good understanding and reliable sources on the topic :P

  • Javier A Urtubia

    Just do a check of the stock price.. this is a bull story!

  • Itou Kyuuji

    The story may be fake, but as soon as it’s legalized, the corporations will move in and shut down all these mom and pop stores.

  • niggermaster

    your all niggers and ignorant

  • Kim Ledbetter

    It is a herb that is no more harm full than alcohol and cigarettes . There are pharmacies on every corner where they sell drugs that have heroine and cocaine in them. Wake the hell up you damn hypocrites!!!!!!

  • Casey Haberberger

    Hahahah they had me going until I read the share price went from 83 to 998 lolol. I was gonna say, if they were planning on using Mexican dirtweed to make these, they might have sold a single pack LMAO !!!

  • BocaNY

    LOL. This article was great made my day. Of course it’s fake people just look at the site your on it’s called Abril Uno which translates into April First as in April fool’s day. Classic.

  • Roger Scime

    Very clever.

    Do you remember the fake TV Commercial for Acapulco Golds in Norman Spinrad’s “Bug Jack Baron”?

    I came up with my own take on my own website: “The flavor you can’t forget . . . the experience you can’t remember!”

  • Nate

    Philip Morris is only spelled with one “L”.

    Also, as satirical as this piece is meant to be, if you think that PM and the other large tobacco companies don’t have a package design and marketing campaign already worked up and sitting in a sealed envelope somewhere… well, I’m just saying is all.

    • http://abriluno.com Akoy Ciraulo

      The misspelling was intentional, but thanks :)

  • Cheryl Jenkins Potter

    AND YOU WANT TO LEGALIZE MEDICAL MARIJUANA???!!!!! PHILIP MORRIS MUST WANT MORE CAR CRASHES, MORE DEAD PEOPLE, ETC!!!! BAN PHILIP MORRIS & OTHER CIGARETTE COMPANIES FROM MAKING THIS STUFF!!! MAKE THIS ILLEGAL!!

    • Jamie Spidell

      Get your facts straight Potter. I am sure you enjoy your alcohol on a nightly basis. Understand or keep quite.

      • Jamie Spidell

        besides its all fake lol

    • http://www.facebook.com/politicalhostage/ Political Hostage

      Everyone that wants to smoke already does so pal.

  • Daniel Hofmann

    just checked google finance the statement about Philipp Morris´ share price is a sensationalist lie — get your facts straight you actually got me excited for a second

  • Eileen Susa

    No thanks just grow your own, they will ass
    additives and get away with it

    • Eileen Susa

      whoops add additives

  • Jamie Spidell

    very nice website. lol FAKE BOLOGNA!

  • Nigga

    What a piece of shit article on a piece of shit site

  • Robert Fahey

    this is awesome, how much would the pack cost?

  • Frag Monger

    I know this is a joke, but it won’t be in just a few years…

  • Jammie

    Keeping the story alive… Its so much better when a story is not so far stretched beyond belief and/or possibilities.

  • InquiringEye

    Will never in the future even though this is satire. Medical practitioners on the USA have no confirmation yet on findings that marijuana can cure anything. Precisely the reason why the FDA does not allow it. Football teams do not also.

  • Pine Cloud

    SO NO NEW JOBS HERE IN US..BOYCOT SALES!!!! As quoted by Marlboro representative”Norcik added that they have begun contacting former drug lords in Mexico and Paraguay, currently the largest marijuana-producing countries in the world, for the possibility of setting up a distribution ring across the North and South American continents, to streamline the supply lines”So the cartel gets in anyway even though dispensaries have been busted by the fed for fronting for the cartel….but no one will question Marlboro?

  • Johnny G Benitez Jr

    april UNO

  • Matt Markonis

    I don’t know how I feel about this either, really, but I do know it’s not innovative to replace one crop for another in a product like cigarettes, especially, as someone pointed out, without even thinking to get rid of the filter, spoil the whole deal, as Brits and Canadians, and others, might, by adding tobacco, etc., all of which surely will happen eventually, thereby addicting more people to nicotine, and blurring the lines between the two, but it’s how they roll things out, to pretend doing the next obvious thing is going to help people, and figuring out a way to make a profit from it, which is the opposite of help.

  • Russell Pate

    i can roll 8 to 9 joints out of a quarter oz of good cheap stuff for 25 to 30 and thats 7 grams so what else is going to be in it that we will be smoking if that pack only has 2 or 3 grams in it have to smoke the oh pack just to get high

  • helioblak

    not believable…theres no way ion hell that they’ll be able to ship across state lines, nvm international borders…also., the joint in the ad is WAY too big

  • jason

    I dont care what anybody says this is fantastic, ive been waiting for this for decades.

  • Dina Scalia

    Disgusting. All about making money to them.

  • weezy

    if this is real how much would one pack cost a
    consumer and is it true that if a weed dealer in Canada pays 500$ a year
    he is legally aloud to sell weed?

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  • Sam van den Berg

    Consult our in-built cannaboid and nicotine receptors on their needs, get rid of the tar, and strictly regulate additives, and i may be able to return to smoking after many years of abstinence. As for cannabis, never tried it, but since God put the receptors in us, who am I to argue. God also wants us to inhale and be honest about it.

  • Shade Deserath

    this isnt even real…

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    Although this is just a fake article
    , don’t think Phillip Morris hasn’t actually thought about it!

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